LSgirl Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Short background: Me (26) and him (28) broke up this morning. We dated for over a year. We met shortly after he broke up with his ex-fiancee of 8 years who cheated on him. It was red flags to get into it but it happened. While it was great for the most part, I could tell deep down inside he still hurt from his past and hard a difficult time opening his heart up to me. On our one year anniversary I told him I loved him but didn't expect it back because he had told me his feelings didn't go that deep yet and we were still growing. Over time I grew resentment and although he did the best things like he was very loyal, affectionate, called me daily, sweet gestures, introduced me to everyone, I consider him as one of my best friends, he never got to that level of love with me as he once did with his ex. We did breakup once for 4 weeks with the same issue, and he poured his heart out to me in a letter in the mail (never opened up like this before) and it seemed like he realized what he had lost and we got back together, now 3 months later it's the same thing. He knows I love him, but when somebody tells you their feelings are not as strong as yours, it hurts. While I know he genuinely cared for me, he's quite the humanitarian, never seen anyone so friendly and generous to all people, but when it came to loving me, I always wondered what it was about me that he couldn't fall in love with. That doesn't matter now, of course. I really want to move on this time. Last breakup, I had hopes he would come around, and he did, but knowing nothing has progressed and still has his wall up, there's nothing else I can do but get some self-esteem back up again. So today, it's not even Day 1 of NC since this all happened this morning while I was at work, so I left work early and my friend took me out kayaking (something Ive been wanting to do, im not outgoing at all lol) but after we landed back on shore and sat on the sand I felt depressed again. And here I am, back on LS. Thank god for this place, I've done this before, but it feels just as painful everytime. I've even been thinking about going to therapy since I have nothing else better to do when I'm not at work and on here. Does anybody have any advice? I was thinking about even deactivating my Facebook for awhile. Heartbreak is one of the worst things to go through.
Philosoraptor Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Jumping into a relationship didn't allow him to heal properly. Not only did an 8 year relationship end... but he was cheated on. He wasn't ready for a relationship and truly needs time to work through things before he is in one at all.
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