Els Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 To me, forums and OLD are alike. In fact, I find natural connections from places like forums, games, etc to be less consumerist. But yes, we'll just have to agree to disagree on that. It is not a fragile connection, V. If you are overlooking things that some other girls don't online, you COULD be overlooking things that some other girls don't IRL. If you're absolutely certain you don't, well, carry on, I guess *shrug*. There's really nothing wrong with spending a little time doing some introspection on suggestions, rather than a knee-jerk defensive reaction to them. If, after introspection, you decide that the suggestion is wrong, simply thank the suggester and discard it. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'm taking an argumentative tone because I'm *just a little annoyed* that I have to defend and explain, several times, why I don't consider anonymous random forum messages to count as proof that guys are interested in me. Yeah, you're speaking civilly to me, but you're also still arguing with me over something that is, frankly, meaningless. And exactly WHY are you arguing this with me?? You see it as expression of interest, I do not... why are you insisting that I do? Why are you even on this forum? Honestly, what do you get out of coming here? This isn't an attack, I'm just curious. I could only think of one thing. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Why are you even on this forum? Honestly, what do you get out of coming here? This isn't an attack, I'm just curious. I could only think of one thing. To talk about things I can't in real life. To get different perspectives and experiences. Despite what some people seem to assume, I do consider what other people say... But it's also my nature to question, question everything, and in cases where I think the perspective is wrong, to say so. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 To talk about things I can't in real life. To get different perspectives and experiences. Despite what some people seem to assume, I do consider what other people say... But it's also my nature to question, question everything, and in cases where I think the perspective is wrong, to say so. To me, at least, there are many ways to question. Personally, when I receive a civil and well-meaning suggestion, after thinking on it I either politely ask the suggester to elaborate further, or nicely tell them why I feel it wouldn't work. In your case, I'm not sure what the intention was, but it sounds, to me at least, like a knee-jerk defensive and intentionally argumentative reaction. You don't necessarily need to treat all suggestions the same, especially not trollish or impolite posts, but if you respond to all of them this way, I'm sure you can understand how even the best-intentioned of posters will end up getting frustrated with you. As I said to SD, though, I really am not interested in arguing with someone whom I am trying to help. In fact, it is no skin off my back to simply shrug and assume you are correct, since it is your life, not mine, and any benefits that could potentially be reaped from the conversation would be by you, and not me. If you do not wish to, that is your prerogative, and I have better things to do than try to convince you to. Good luck with everything. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 But it's also my nature to question, question everything, and in cases where I think the perspective is wrong, to say so. Comprising 99.8% of all perspectives of posters on this forum.. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Comprising 99.8% of all perspectives of posters on this forum.. I'd question 100% of the posters in this forum if they were wrong. I mean when some on comes into a thread and uses this is what every one said its like haha. What 7 random people posted an opinion and now its from god. But we are right she has a bad attitude and is torturing herself. I just don't like the % of people arguement. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'd question 100% of the posters in this forum if they were wrong. I mean when some on comes into a thread and uses this is what every one said its like haha. What 7 random people posted an opinion and now its from god. But we are right she has a bad attitude and is torturing herself. I just don't like the % of people arguement. Alright, alright, you obviously can't take everyone's word, especially on this forum mostly full of self hating virgins.. The blind can't lead the blind. At the same time, her being here to vent is meaningless if her lifestyle/perspective doesn't change in a positive way, taking something away from popular opinions from posters who have no reason to lie. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Alright, alright, you obviously can't take everyone's word, especially on this forum mostly full of self hating virgins.. The blind can't lead the blind. At the same time, her being here to vent is meaningless if her lifestyle/perspective doesn't change in a positive way, taking something away from popular opinions from posters who have no reason to lie. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, or single or anything. The problem is the self hating so the only thing we can do is motivate her to what we think is right. She needs to save herself from herself. She can be sweet and stop beating herself up sometimes. Wasn't it funny when she joked about switching bodies with somedude? Gave me a chuckle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 In what reality is a woman having smaller than average breasts equal to a man being 6'2 or having a MD? i guess I would not be good enough for you then Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 i guess I would not be good enough for you then Maybe if you got down on one knee and presented him with a gift he'd go on a date with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 i guess I would not be good enough for you then Pretty girl and I saw your profile picture too. Sadly, I can't control what I like. I would never be able to get over it. I'm sure your thinking that it's no loss at all, and you're right considering my reputation on this forum. Though tell me this, would you prefer a man who is completely into the way you are, or somebody who wished for something different? Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Pretty girl and I saw your profile picture too. Sadly, I can't control what I like. I would never be able to get over it. I'm sure your thinking that it's no loss at all, and you're right considering my reputation on this forum. Though tell me this, would you prefer a man who is completely into the way you are, or somebody who wished for something different? Are you really saying that if I asked you out you would not go out with me? Because my boobs are a large A? I thought you had problems getting dates! You seriously would not date me? I definitely would want someone who would think I am a catch and would feel lucky to have me! Not someone who will be thinking my boobs are not big enough. By the way, what I do not have in boobs I definitely make up with in the bootey. If you are going to reject someone based on boob size then please don't whine about not getting dates! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Are you really saying that if I asked you out you would not go out with me? Because my boobs are a large A? I thought you had problems getting dates! You seriously would not date me? I definitely would want someone who would think I am a catch and would feel lucky to have me! Not someone who will be thinking my boobs are not big enough. By the way, what I do not have in boobs I definitely make up with in the bootey. If you are going to reject someone based on boob size then please don't whine about not getting dates! If you really love him you can't take no for an answer. You should have just said you have bigger than a B. He'd convince himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Are you really saying that if I asked you out you would not go out with me? Because my boobs are a large A? I thought you had problems getting dates! You seriously would not date me? By the way, what I do not have in boobs I definitely make up with in the bootey. If you are going to reject someone based on boob size then please don't whine about not getting dates! OK, I really need to take a moment here and think of how big of an ass I really am. Deep breath, now I can think. Would I reject you? No Would I constantly be thinking that your boobs are too small? Yes. Would I disappointed the first few times I see you topless? Yes. Am I huge ass? Yes. I definitely would want someone who would think I am a catch and would feel lucky to have me! Not someone who will be thinking my boobs are not big enough. That's exactly what I thought. And why I should not date somebody smaller, it just wouldn't be fair to her as she'd deserve somebody who thinks she's amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
ptp Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) OK, I really need to take a moment here and think of how big of an ass I really am. Deep breath, now I can think. Would I reject you? No Would I constantly be thinking that your boobs are too small? Yes. Would I disappointed the first few times I see you topless? Yes. Am I huge ass? Yes. Really SD? Wow... This is when I think we aren't similar at all. Maybe you need to get out of SoCal, it probably screws up your perspective. Edited March 1, 2012 by ptp Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Really SD? Wow... This is when I think we aren't similar at all. Maybe you need to get out of SoCal, it probably screws up your perspective. Or maybe I just need to land the girl I've been chasing for the past two years and everything would just work itself out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Would I reject you? No Would I constantly be thinking that your boobs are too small? Yes. Would I disappointed the first few times I see you topless? Yes. This is beyond being an ass, this is f'ed in the head. So you're saying you would sleep with her a few times, but untimely reject her, because you think her chest is to small? That's a good way to get sent to the ER by her brother or one of her close mail friends. Or maybe I just need to land the girl I've been chasing for the past two years and everything would just work itself out. Jesus man this is starting to border on stalking, get some GD help..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Red Arremer Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Are those all legitimately things you were interested in? This might be part of my "problem" but I only do things I'm interested in.... and most of the meet-ups I've seen are not things I'm interested in. This is also a difference I've noticed between myself and other people. Other people will do activities purely for the sake of meeting people, or will only do activities when there is someone else along. I do activities for the sake of those activities, and people are very secondary to my enjoyment. (Which also means if I don't like the activity, the people won't be enough to make up for my lack of enjoyment.) I'm probably just an introvert and a misanthrope, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing, but it sure seems as if I need to be something else to find a relationship. This sort of got skipped over because people started focusing on other parts of verhrzn's posts, but I'd be interested in hearing more on this myself because I'm exactly the same way. I've done meetup activities before, but whether or not I go to an activity depends almost entirely on the actual activity. I don't really go to stuff for the people, which makes meeting people even when I do stuff hard, especially when the activity ends up sucking or not being all that enjoyable. It definitely makes meeting any people, women or no, difficult when you don't really care for meeting new people for the sake of meeting new people. Also I would like to chime in as saying that the breast size preference thing isn't a SoCal thing, in case people were thinking it was. I myself like all breasts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Also I would like to chime in as saying that the breast size preference thing isn't a SoCal thing, in case people were thinking it was. I myself like all breasts. No, I think they are saying that I'm spoiled because SoCal is filled with girls who have big boobs, while in other places it's not as common. That might be the case if all the boobs I see in my day-to-day weren't natural. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Arremer Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Yeah I meant "not a SoCal thing" as in "people from SoCal don't really do that as a general rule." My wording was kind of muddy looking at it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 This sort of got skipped over because people started focusing on other parts of verhrzn's posts, but I'd be interested in hearing more on this myself because I'm exactly the same way. I've done meetup activities before, but whether or not I go to an activity depends almost entirely on the actual activity. I don't really go to stuff for the people, which makes meeting people even when I do stuff hard, especially when the activity ends up sucking or not being all that enjoyable. It definitely makes meeting any people, women or no, difficult when you don't really care for meeting new people for the sake of meeting new people. Well I can say that except for my philosophy group, if i go to a meetup group it is to meet people, but the downside is that when I come home again and I feel no closer to my goal of meeting that special someone, I actually feel a bit worse. By only doing things I am really interested in though, I find I seldom meet people and spend most of my time alone. So I reason to meet someone I have to make the effort to get out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Monm82 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'd much rather be a woman, lol. Life would be so much more interesting and easier in a lot of ways. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'd much rather be a woman, lol. Life would be so much more interesting and easier in a lot of ways. I used to think that way but a couple years of peace and quiet post-D has changed my mind. I'd never have that as a woman unless I lived off the land in the wilderness somewhere. It's been such a gift to easily avoid romantic entanglements or approaches; one which would be much more difficult to gain if not a man. I could see myself getting annoyed at the flies of unwanted approaches buzzing around my head. Where's that flyswatter? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Interestingly, I'm finding a bit of dark humor in this whole thread. Here's a man (SD) who is willing to be celibate rather than be with a woman with small(er) breasts. Here's a woman (V) willing to be celibate rather than take the initiative in asking a guy out or simply responding to friendly PM posts. We all have our blind spots. I'm just wondering what whacked out thing I'm doing that is keeping me single. Hmmm... I can think of a few things. Wow. This was really helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) I used to think that way but a couple years of peace and quiet post-D has changed my mind. I'd never have that as a woman unless I lived off the land in the wilderness somewhere. It's been such a gift to easily avoid romantic entanglements or approaches; one which would be much more difficult to gain if not a man. I could see myself getting annoyed at the flies of unwanted approaches buzzing around my head. Where's that flyswatter? ...or you could do like I did after my divorce. Get a gender inappropriate hair cut (for me, that was a crew cut). That worked amazingly well to scare off the random approaches from men. Especially in a town known for having a high population of gays and lesbians. Now, I just kick them to the curb if they Google me. At least that involves some interaction on their part. I'm getting better. And my hair is grown out now. So, that's a start. I hope you don't mind that women like me want to make it more difficult for some men to isolate themselves.. I mean, with this radical notion of making the first move and all. Edited March 1, 2012 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
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