binny Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 How many single and looking ladies out there (yourself or somebody you know) have zero options. Meaning, you know without a doubt that there are no men who want to date you or her. As far as I'm aware no one is looking for a relationship with me. My last relationship was about 5 years ago and I wouldn't really count that as a real relationship. One guy recently expressed an interest in having sex with me but it wouldn't be a relationship so doesn't count.
Author somedude81 Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 You seem to think that a girl below a B-cup would have no breasts at all. In fact, I'm an A cup and my tits are great, at least in my opinion. And there's girls who are a B cup but their breasts are as hard as rocks and not "grab-able" at all. Honestly, I have now idea how the smaller bra sizes work. I'm just thinking that there is one size where it might as well be a boy but I don't know where that cut off is. My guess is that the way they find the strength to keep going is by thinking positively and holding onto the hope that one day they will find a partner. I've been holding on to hope for 17 years. I don't even know how I managed. You think that the last girl you dated didn't count because she was obese, you didn't have sex, etc. That's your mindset. So let's say that a month from now you meet a cute girl who is interested in you, and then it turns out she has herpes. Would we have sex? Would I have sex with a girl with a STD? Ugh, why do you make me ask these questions? I just want something normal! So this is the weird contradiction you're caught in- you think "If only I had a basis for confidence, however meager, everything would be better" but because of your negative mindset you're never going to find that theoretical basis. Of course I can, unless you're going to throw another weird situation at me. "What if you meet a girl and she doesn't have any legs" and so on. These aren't fair questions to ask someone in my situation. So you have to learn to function without it Or I could find one of the billions of normal girls on this planet and have a relationship just like everybody else. And I think you need to clarify, for your own sake, about these preferences- you would "prefer" a younger girl, at least a b-cup, maybe likes video games, etc- but in reality wouldn't any girl that you were physically and mentally attracted to be sufficient? Yup. Though I'm keeping in mind what might happen if some preferences weren't met. So for all practical purposes you should probably throw your preferences out the window. What would that accomplish? As I said earlier, I don't exactly have women who don't meet my preferences knocking at my door. This is why you fixate on the attention you get from women: because you because you feel like you need it, but at the same time, you don't feel like you deserve it. It's fundamental internal conflict that stresses you out and compels you to only enter one-sided fantasy relationships. It meets both of your needs -- you get to have feelings of desire, but you don't get loving care and affection (which you feel you don't deserve). This isn't a solution to the problem, though, because rather than resolving your conflict, this continues it. You never satisfy your need for affection and so you are always in agony, but you are paradoxically comforted by the familiarity of the situation. Having a mother who made you feel undeserving of her love, care, and affection could have a little something to do with why you have these conflicting desires. Is there any mystery here? It seems as plain as day that you're playing out this abusive relationship with her over and over like a modern day Sisyphus. I don't think I was undeserving of her love, care and affection; though maybe I think that when I was growing up my mother didn't love me at all. So when I became interested in girls maybe I was trying to get the love from then, that I feel I did not get from my mother. The reason I get into these fantasy relationships, because it's the closest thing I can actually get to having a girl love me. And I've carried that around my entire life because I haven't been able to find anybody who would I suspect this isn't even about his preferences. It is about what will make him look worthy to people in the outside world. Lots of people are like that. It doesn't matter if she's a complete basket case or totally incompatible. As long as shes alot younger than him, is cute, has big boobs, and isn't overweight, he can show the world he isn't a loser. It's like he's hoping to win the girl lottery instead of just working and saving like everyone else does. Or finding a way to be happy with what they have. I always think it's sad when I see the poorest of the poor ponying up for $20 of lottery tickets every week. Sure. There's like a one in a bazillion chances they'll win. But that $20 is probably better spent on any number of other things. I liked you better when you weren't jumping to conclusions.
marinelife3 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 If you want a normal situation then I can't really speak to that. All my life has been weird partners and weird relationships and weird compromises, and it's still been pretty awesome. This is why I think you're handicapped in coming from Southern California, there's sort of hyper-conventional storybook ideal there and I've think you've bought into it too much. I'm not saying you should sleep with a girl with an STD, just that your expectation that things should just be normal, and that if your life improves it will be in a "normal" way, is probably blocking you.
Els Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I KNOW. And, sorry to keep beating on this poor dead horse, but the thing that drives me nuts is how sd constantly criticizes women for turning down men "with nothing wrong with them." According to him, women are messed up for even wanting to feel a basic attraction or to LIKE a guy, as long as "there's nothing wrong with him." Yet he is comfortable rejecting women who probably have dozens of suitors, like EH, because of boob size? The hypocrisy boggles. I'm fine with his requirement, though just the fact that he has it would make most of the women I know reject him; he's entitled to reject anybody for any reason and to go for what he likes. I just wish he could see that other people (female ones) have the exact same prerogative, and if it's okay for him, it's okay for them. I think this post pretty much answers your questions, SD. 1
Teknoe Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I think its clear to every one including Somedude that he doesn't really know what he's doing or talking about. Truth. See below for further proof on this. I'm not holding out. I simply have no options. He wrote the above in this thread.... but wait-a-sec here... I don't think I'm completely out of options yet. He wrote this in a different thread about two days ago. (!!!) He has no options, he's not completely out of options yet... which one is it? He doesn't seem to know. He's confused, but picks whichever one is convenient at the time to play the victim card. And it's sad that he no longer addresses anyone who asks him if he has any friends at all. He's ignoring a very glaring issue. As long as he fails to address it in real life, he'll never rise out of the rut he's put himself in. His problem is he just doesn't know how to properly, appropriately give AND receive love as normal 30 year old adults should. That's why D, being 21, put up with him for 2 years. She was a puppy who didn't know how to exercise healthy boundaries (many 21 year olds are like that). However, we all saw that he was pushing her to her breaking point. She seems nice. So when she told SD to "stay out of her life" (more or less)... that to me is a HUGE red flag. The fact that SD can't see it, won't admit it and won't seek help is scary. Even scarier is how he's thinking about contacting a mutual friend to help facilitate one more meeting with the poor girl, D. SD, I'm sorry you had such a rough childhood. Parents divorced when you were 3 and abusive mom raising you alone... that's tough. But it's no excuse for you to behave and think the way you are right now. To put it bluntly, you are heading down a very dark path. Please, for the love of God, seek some professional help. Your thought process is abnormally unhealthy, and if left unchecked, could become a serious, physical hazard to your own self. Man up. Go see a counselor.
El Brujo Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 If you don't mind maybe you could give those options to some of the more needy men here. We could call it "spread the dating options around" or "communist dating". AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 49K, What you're describing is pretty much the same problem I've been talking about for 25 years. What men and women need to do if they're going to meet anyone meaningful, is to act like emotionless zombies and interview each other on the first date about what they want in an R (like a job interview). I know it sounds pretty stupid, but the way things have been going since the internet was invented, it may not be such a bad idea after all...
RedRobin Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I liked you better when you weren't jumping to conclusions. Hmm. Well, suit yourself. You wouldn't be any different than the millions of other people out there (men and women) making decisions about their romantic life based on how they think OTHER people will judge them. Alot of people have said you are perfectly welcome to want what you want... coming here and complaining about it is what most people have objected to. I have a very hard time continuing to have sympathy for someone who can't help themselves. There are new people on LS everyday, so I guess you can continue to suck them for attention.. like you did with me. Congrats. Keep swimming in that pathetic soup. Don't get help. Who cares...
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 If you don't mind maybe you could give those options to some of the more needy men here. We could call it "spread the dating options around" or "communist dating". Yeah! The women involved would be kind of like trading cards, for the men to swap around.
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