I Was The Rebound, Then He Cheated on Her With Me. NC Day 1

[PinkCarnations]

Yeah, I finally see it now, clear as day. I was the rebound. I don't know why the red flags didn't pop up as apparantly as it does now. I don't know why I keep thinking I'm some special girl, that I am the girl to make a guy change his mind. In the end, he went back to her and is with her now. For some short period after ending things, he still talked to me and told me he loved me, that he was going to figure all this out. We ended up sleeping together on 3 occasions (unplanned). Part of me was selfish and wanted to satisfy myself for that moment and another part of me wanted to test if he really cared about her all that much (because if he did, maybe he wouldn't have cheated on her?). Yes, I admit it was a wrongful thing to do. :/ I was really in love with him, and it just makes me act irrational sometimes.

 

Last night however, after some long hard thinking, I realize that this isn't the relationship I want. I don't want to be someone's dirty little secret. If he really wanted to be with me, he would have picked me ultimately. I suppose I don't really need advice on what to do anymore, because I already know forgetting him is what I'm supposed to do. I just need support with moving on from this..

 

Also, I realize now that despite him repeatedly saying I mean a lot to him, that I always make him happy, and that he loves me (he told me this a few days ago), and he even posted a song on his blog about me (saying he missed me etc), I am NOT that important to him. I need to quit dreaming that he's going to come running back to me, because when he does, all I'll be is second best. He keeps feeding me crumbs, and I'm just so done with it.

 

He even said he's going to try really hard to win me back once he figures this out, but it's probably out of guilt or to make me feel happy for that moment. HE'S A STUPID, LYING JERK.

 

Anyways, I'm still forced to see him weekly, but I will limit contact in person. Otherwise, it's NC. I hate him so much right now.

Edited February 28, 2012 by PinkCarnations

[mike588]

Yeah, I finally see it now, clear as day. I was the rebound. I don't know why the red flags didn't pop up as apparantly as it does now. I don't know why I keep thinking I'm some special girl, that I am the girl to make a guy change his mind. In the end, he went back to her and is with her now. For some short period after ending things, he still talked to me and told me he loved me, that he was going to figure all this out. We ended up sleeping together on 3 occasions (unplanned). Part of me was selfish and wanted to satisfy myself for that moment and another part of me wanted to test if he really cared about her all that much (because if he did, maybe he wouldn't have cheated on her?). Yes, I admit it was a wrongful thing to do. :/ I was really in love with him, and it just makes me act irrational sometimes.

 

Last night however, after some long hard thinking, I realize that this isn't the relationship I want. I don't want to be someone's dirty little secret. If he really wanted to be with me, he would have picked me ultimately. I suppose I don't really need advice on what to do anymore, because I already know forgetting him is what I'm supposed to do. I just need support with moving on from this..

 

Also, I realize now that despite him repeatedly saying I mean a lot to him, that I always make him happy, and that he loves me (he told me this a few days ago), and he even posted a song on his blog about me (saying he missed me etc), I am NOT that important to him. I need to quit dreaming that he's going to come running back to me, because when he does, all I'll be is second best. He keeps feeding me crumbs, and I'm just so done with it.

 

He even said he's going to try really hard to win me back once he figures this out, but it's probably out of guilt or to make me feel happy for that moment. HE'S A STUPID, LYING JERK.

 

Anyways, I'm still forced to see him weekly, but I will limit contact in person. Otherwise, it's NC. I hate him so much right now.

 

I was a rebound too. I reconnected with an old friend of mine from many years ago...she had just gotten out of a relationship (red flag I ignored) and we started dating.

 

I knew she still had feelings for her ex. but was assured...then reassured that it was over between them...we dated for a year.

 

Well out of the blue she dumped me for him. After the b/u I heard the same stuff...that she did love me...that I meant alot to her but to me her actions spoke louder than her words.

 

I was a wreck...finally got over her...it's been 7 months now and then last month then again last week she contacts me saying I'm so sorry blah blah blah.

 

I wondered if she wanted to "try it again" but I guess not...she just wanted to get that guilt off her chest. Stick with No Contact.You can do better.

Edited February 28, 2012 by mike588

[PinkCarnations]

Mike588, don't be freaked out but I kind of stalk your topics/posts...

 

Yeah.. I feel rejected and lonely, and knowing that he has someone else to hold at night doesn't help. I know I will get over this eventually. And like you, he says a lot of sweet things to me, but his actions speak louder. He probably just wants to relieve his guilt or wants to string me along as a backup plan. It hurts so much. Sigh.

[bikinibeach]

proud of you for taking your pride back!!

 

loveshack helped me ALOT with support back in more troubled times, but it was this website that picked me up by the collar and shook me like, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! GET A GRIP! :

 

Rebound Relationships in a Nutshell: Transitionals, Buffers & Why You Should Step Away From The Light When They’re Not Over Their Ex | Baggage Reclaim

 

lol

 

hope it will help you understand what you might be going through.

 

stick with it!

[PinkCarnations]

bikinibeach, great read!!! Thanks for the link. It definitely puts a perspective on things.