Would you date someone who holds the opp abortion belief?

[SJC2008]

I may be opening an unintended can of worms (or an already debated topic here) but could you date someone with the opposite abortion belief as you? It's a deal breaker for me, I'm pro life.

[FrustratedStandards]

Hmmm...

 

Well for me it wouldn't be about the act of abortion itself, but the whole debate behind it. I find that I wouldn't get along with someone who is pro life, because their views would be very different than mine.

 

The debate can go on and on, but the fact that we disagree on abortion means that we disagree on far more than just ending a pregnancy. So I guess my answer would be no, I don't think I could.

[somedude81]

Eh, I'm pretty sure that most women are pro-life when pregnant, regardless if they were pro-choice before or not.

 

Basically I don't care if a woman is for or against abortion. The decision of what to do is ultimately hers. All I can do is try my hardest to prevent an accidental pregnancy.

[SJC2008]

Well on my second date it came up in conversation when we were discussing politics. She didn't say she was pro choice but something along the lines of "If someone says they're pro choice....." and I really don't remember the rest bu wish I do. I'm pro life and I really don't think I could date someone pro choice. I respect peoples belief and don't judge "pro choicers" but it's something I'm whole hartedly against. Now I don't know why it came up and if she was dropping a hint or trying to see my reaction but I think I'm going to ask her when I see her again.

[SJC2008]

Ok what are the odds? I just saw the other thread, didn't mean to hijack.

[somedude81]

So if she became pregnant and didn't want to keep it, you would try to convince her?

 

How? It's not like you can carry the baby for her. Nor are you going to be the one who has to raise and take care of it for who knows how many years.

[Ursa]

I believe that women should have autonomy over their own bodies, and the right to make their own choices about their futures, their reproduction, their health. I would not be able to date someone who disagreed.

[jerbear]

Why not?

 

I'm personally Pro-Choice but when I do the deed; I plan on being a father.

[oldguy]

This on your SECOND date? you might want to find some lighter topics to discuss that early on.

 

Finding compatible comfort levels is an important, if not crucial part of dating. You might want to get a bit more info at this point, she didn't say she was pro abortion just pro choice. Now if your standing in front of clinics with anti-abortions signs she might not be the girl of your dreams, I'm just guessing, but she might just be pro "choice", as in it's the individuals right to choose. That doesn't necessarily mean it would be her choice. But even if that stance gives the issue too much ground you might not want to buy the ring just yet.

 

btw; Everyone says they're either not judgmental or don't want to be judgmental but truth be told; we all are & that's not such a bad thing in itself, really, it's okay sometimes. You don't have to be in someones face or critical but its fine to make judgement calls. I'm judgemental of people who aren't. I think their too wishy washy or maybe even back stabbers, I just don't care for them. Hows that:lmao:

Edited February 27, 2012 by oldguy

[kaylan]

See this is stupid to me. I understand it, and I dont at the same time.

 

WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT SOMEONES ABORTION VIEWS ARE?

 

I hate the term pro-life btw, because it implies that those who are pro-choice are in fact pro-death....which is nonsense. People who are pro-choice are simply all about someone having the liberty to do with their body as they please. Id say control over ones own person is a basic human right.

 

To not date someone for being pro-choice, I find very silly. Pro-choicers simply dont feel its within their right to tell others what to do with their own bodies. But itd be a deal breaker to some to support the right to ones personal liberties? Um ok?...if someone feels that way...fine...I dont understand it...but its their right to have such a deal breaker. Especially considering how important this issue is to many people.

 

On the flip side...I think itd be silly for a pro-choice advocate to not want to date a pro-lifer. Why on earth would a pro-choicer feel that a pro-life stance was a deal breaker? My ex was pro-life and I was fine with it. Whats such a deal breaker about someone who just didnt agree with ending life in any way? Whats such a deal breaker about a girl whos maternal instincts are just too damn strong for her to put herself through something like an abortion?

 

So thats my stance. I understand why this would be a deal breaker for some, because its important to agree on things regarding morals...but at the same time...its goddamn silly for this issue to be a deal breaker...and I my gave reasons for why.

[SJC2008]

We didn't even discuss it or ask each others opinions about it. Like I said, we were talking politics and then the threw that quote out but I only remember the beginnig and not the end. Hell she may be pro life and was using an example. But you would think people would use examples based in their beliefs. A womans body is her body and I wouldn't force her do do something she wanted to BUT I want no part of A and it's better to date someone who is on the same page because if there's an accidental pregnancy I'd man up and would be crushed if my SO Had an A.

[SJC2008]

@Oldguy: You have a good point meaning she beleives it is her right to decide but abortion may not her choice. I don't feel I, nor the government has the right to tell a woman whether she can or can't carry a child. That may sound pro choice but I do feel that it is unfair to the unborn child who has no say in the matter. I guess I misinterpreted the term and didn't realize their was a pro abortion as well.

[oldguy]

See this is stupid to me. I understand it, and I dont at the same time.

 

WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT SOMEONES ABORTION VIEWS ARE?

The simple answer to that is; because it does. You might take it a step further and ask; why does it matter if someone was a pedophile? The answer to that may be a bit more obvious, at least I hope it is, it's because it's a moral stance that someone needs to be comfortable with, & has the right to be uncomfortable with. You may not care about pro-life or pro-abortion but that doesn't mean someone who does should be dismissed or even criticized for their stance, opinion or comfort level. It might be easier if we where all the same but it sure would be dull & as Darwin said; we wouldn't survive long.

[Emilia]

I may be opening an unintended can of worms (or an already debated topic here) but could you date someone with the opposite abortion belief as you? It's a deal breaker for me, I'm pro life.

 

Yeah, dealbreaker for me too. I couldn't date a man who would approve legislations to force me to give birth if I got pregnant by a rapist. Don't be pro life at others' expense my friend.

[HHC]

I was anti abortion when I was younger (and actively trying for children). Even when I fell pregnant at a young age I accepted that choice and kept my child.

 

Now I am done with children though I am pro choice and if I fell pregnant I would abort

[oldguy]

I don't think the OP was imposing his views, he simply has different views & if those views are morally apposed to his dates he probably shouldn't propose anytime soon.

[Eclypse]

I don't think I would be able to probably. My girlfriend is pro choice and I am too. She actually said she'd abort as soon as she got pregnant if it happened now.

 

I've got into debates with religious people over this topic before. I'm always willing to discuss controversial topics, be they religion, ethics, vaccination etc.

[oldguy]

"vaccination"? as in pro or against being vaccinated for childhood diseases?

[Carlos S]

I can echo the sentiments of many who have posted. I do believe that you have the entitlement to believe what you want, but I can't see myself compatible with someone who's "pro-life" - that is the say, there would most likely be a huge personality mismatch.

 

And that's on top of being me not willing to be a dad so early. I don't want my kids to have a half-baked dad. Having said that, being pro-choice means that I think it's up to the mother. If I got a woman pregnant and she decided to keep it, I would man up to my responsibilities.

[oaks]

I may be opening an unintended can of worms (or an already debated topic here) but could you date someone with the opposite abortion belief as you? It's a deal breaker for me, I'm pro life.

 

I think I would struggle to maintain a relationship with someone who held a strong view about imposing her beliefs about abortion on other people, but I don't think it would be a deal breaker if she had strong views about what options are or aren't available to her if she became pregnant herself.

[Eclypse]

"vaccination"? as in pro or against being vaccinated for childhood diseases?

 

I am pro for it but you'd be surprised how many people are against it. There's lobby groups and the such. My downside is I can be a bit hot-headed so I'd prefer someone who shares my views. Imagine the arguments when the child is the age for immunizations.

[grkBoy]

I may be opening an unintended can of worms (or an already debated topic here) but could you date someone with the opposite abortion belief as you? It's a deal breaker for me, I'm pro life.

 

I would as long as she's not some insane bible-belt judgmental person. I've seen women who call themselves "pro life" or even say "pro choice...but I choose life". They don't sit there worrying about what other women do, but simply make it clear they would never abort a baby. In the end, it would just make me very careful (not that I'm ever not careful) about sex and protection.

 

The ones I stay away from are the bible-thumpers. The ones who claim a life is made at conception, it has a soul, and it's a mortal sin to kill that embryo. Blah blah blah...she's showing anyway why I would not be into her, as she would probably be on my butt for not going to Church on Sundays and being too "tolerant" of everyone.

[oldguy]

I have the argument with a close friend who is against immunizations & has even managed to keep his children from being immunized. Then he & his wife complain when someone comes down with something at school & their kids are sent home for two weeks. I tried to explain there is a MUCH higher risk to kids riding the bus to school than there is for immunizations.

[zengirl]

I believe that women should have autonomy over their own bodies, and the right to make their own choices about their futures, their reproduction, their health. I would not be able to date someone who disagreed.

 

Basically this. I couldn't date a man who could think of me as a human incubator, being used against my will.

[EasyHeart]

For the most part, I think you can be a successful couple with differing political views (my current relationship being a good example!) If I only dated women who shared my political views, I would still be waiting for my first kiss. (I'm rabidly liberal on social/personal liberty issues and rabidly conservative on fiscal/tax issues. I'm even one of those idiot anti-vaxers! )

 

Abortion is a little different because it directly impacts one of the central functions of most romantic relationships: reproduction. If two people have strongly opposing views on abortion, it could have a huge impact on their lives if the woman ever became pregnant. When I date a woman who is pro-life, I ask her questions to determine exactly how pro-life she is. If she was strongly anti-abortion, that would be a problem for me -- not because we disagree politically or religiously, but because it's theoretically possible that she gets pregnant while dating me, and if abortion is completely off the table, that could have a huge effect on both our lives. That would weigh on how involved I get with her.