candycane Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Hi everyone, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. Well, i say recently, it was a month and a half ago. However, I can't stop thinking about him, and every time i think deeply about him or hear of him my heart pounds and i begin to feel nervous. I met him four years ago in college, where we dated for six months and he left and started a new job. He needed so much time for his job and work to be done after hours that it never worked out and we broke up. Four months later we had been talking online and he confessed that he realised he had made a huge mistake and I still had feelings for him and so we got back together. That was March 2008. We broke up in mid-january, his decision. one being that we have been part of a LDR for a year and 3 months due to me studying at university. I travelled the 6 hour round trip home every other weekend but it wasnt good enough. He also found problems with my shyness in front of his friends and says we had nothing in common. Although some of the above is true, i cant seem to move on. I keep busy with my friends who I have many of and who are very supportive. If i still had feelings for him after 4 months the first time round, how long will it take me this time? I am fed up of the hurt. I was devestated last week to find out he is seeing someone new, who he claims to love. I wish i could be happy for him because he is a decent guy, but right now i just dont know what to do with all my emotions. Part of me thinks it is a rebound thing as i dont understand how you can be over someone and love someone new so quickly after 4 years..is that just me? I understand in time I will hopefully meet someone new and also be happy again, but right now i cant imagine being with anyone else but him. Any tips to help me move on, advice, or talk or your experiences would be appreciated.
Mr Scorpio Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Sorry to hear about your pain! It could very well be that your ex is involved in a rebound. However, it could also be that he was emotionally distancing himself from you well before the breakup. The long-distance nature of the relationship may have made that easier for him to do. For now, you need to try to manage your thoughts. If thinking deeply about him makes you nervous, you should probably try to avoid thinking of him at all. Now that you are single, work on being content with yourself. You may never be with him again, but you will always "be with" yourself.
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