redrose123 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 This may be kind of long but I would really love some encouraging words. I dated my exboyfriend for 7 months about 4 years ago, he was my first love and he broke up with me out of the blue. I was very distraught but managed to move on. He tried to get back together with me after 6 months, then 1 year, and finally tried again after we had been broken up for a year and a half so I decided to give him a second chance. We had been dating for a little over 2 years this time around and I really love him. We always talked about a future together and were so excited about it. We even went and looked at engagement rings in July and unfortunately I found out that he bought me one in August as he had left the receipt for it out on his desk. I was so happy when I found this out and he kept making little hints at me that he was going to propose soon. We work together and I recently found out that he told some guys at work that he was going to propose to me around Christmas. Well Christmas came and I didn't get a proposal and he started to act very distant. He seemed to get upset when I would talk about our future. On our 2 year anniversary, he still didn't propose. We started fighting and in January he broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated but only a day later he texted me and said he had made a huge mistake. We talked about it and he promised he would change and said he wasnt scared of commitment anymore, so I took him back. My birthday was last week and he got me all excited because he said he had a special night planned for me and that I was going to love my gift. All I got from him on my birthday was a handmade card that did not have one sweet thing written in it (he has always been the type to write very sweet things for occasions). I was hurt because I felt that he was acting distant again so I asked him about his feelings concerning marriage and he told me he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married. I broke up with him because things just didn't feel right. Since then, he has only contacted me twice, once through text and once on the phone. I told him I didn't really want to break up I just wanted things to go back to how they used to be and he proceeded to break up with me and tell me he thought this was best for us. He also told me he loved me. Its been so hard to not contact him and I feel so hurt because it was only a few weeks ago he was telling me he could never live without me. I was stupid and texted him yesterday apologizing for pressuring him and told him that his life was obviously better without me. He responded by telling me not to blame myself and that he does love me and he'll always be here for me but he just wants us to be happy and that he doesnt want to date anyone right now. I saw him at work yesterday many times and he only asked me once how I was doing and then ignored me for the rest of the night. I'm so hurt and confused because he was my best friend and it's so hard not to talk to him. I keep hoping he will come back. Should I just forget about him and try to move on? I just dont understand how someone can go from almost proposing to not even caring at all. Sorry for the length of this message by the way!
JJ72 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 If you get back together w/ him, you're just setting yourself up for more heartache. Just cut your losses now and move on. He obviously doesn't know what he wants. You deserve better than this. It's very rare that a person will change. They can modify their behavior, but even that might not last too long.
Author redrose123 Posted February 27, 2012 Author Posted February 27, 2012 I'm just really depressed and keep blaming myself and wondering if I had done things differently if he would still want To be with me. I dont understanf. If someone says they love you then they would want to be with you wouldn't they?
JJ72 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) No reason to dwell or blame yourself for things you could've done differently. You can however, use this as a learning experience for future relationships. If someone says they love you then they would want to be with you wouldn't they? Not necassarily. Unfortunately, love isn't enough for a relationship to work. Also need to be compatible, among other things. It sucks what you're going through. There are others on this forum going through some heartache as well. Just stay strong and keep your chin up. Might not seem like it now, but there is plenty of happiness out there waiting for you Edited February 27, 2012 by JJ72 *
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