Fmrbrknhrt22 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Hi guys, I've popped in and out of here over the years and have found this site very helpful. My gf and I have a complicated story that dates back to 2 and a half years when we first met in college. We were good friends for a while and eventually started dating when I was a senior and she was a sophomore in college. I dumped her after 4 weeks because I didn't feel a strong enough physical attraction to her. Around March, I had spring break and decided that I really wanted to try and give this one more chance and put my all into it. We are one another's rock, she is loyal, supportive, loving and has been a fantastic gf for the last 10 months. She is however only 20 at this point, has no car, and is still a virgin and I am 24 and just graduated college and working full time so it has made things tough in terms of being in different places in our lives. I guess I have been psyching myself up into thinking that her and I could really take the next step in our r-ship and that I would be her first. I really try and go out of my way to show her how much I appreciate and care for her by getting her flowers, taking her to nice dinners, and going to awesome travel spots, but my feelings of intimacy towards her have been inconsistent. Last night, she decided she wanted to take our r-ship to the next level(sex) and I said lets give this a try. The condom was right by the bed, but all of a sudden while making out I felt like being the one responsible to take her virginity just didn't feel right and she was devastated and angry at me when I told her that I felt that lately she hasn't given me much space and I wanted the rest of this weekend to decide if I really want to take the next step with her. I feel like I've really tried to make this work, but that I feel like crap I am doing this to her again because her feelings mean so much to me and I care about and love her so much and that she doesn't deserve this. But at the end of the day, I just don't feel the constant spark of truly being in love with her and wanting to be the guy who she loses her virginity to. Should I take the plunge and just tell her soon that we need to end it or should I try and find a way to salvage our relationship?
JJ72 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 But at the end of the day, I just don't feel the constant spark of truly being in love with her and wanting to be the guy who she loses her virginity to. This right here answers your question. It's a shame b/c from the way you describe her, she sounds like a very cool friend/gf. It's better to let her go now...will be much more devastating for her if you be her first...and then end up letting her go afterwards. just my .02
Author Fmrbrknhrt22 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 Thanks for your answer JJ72. I went ahead and told her I love her and that I care about her like crazy, but that I'm just not ready for a committed relationship. This is going to be the hardest breakup of my life, because this girl was truly my best friend. But I can sit here and try to convince myself all day that I can make this work and that because of how well she's treated me, I will find a way. But ultimately my heart was telling me something different and I needed to recognize that.
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