MarkV Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I have recently gone through a breakup (see previous posts). I have now been in NC for over a month. She ended it after 6 years together saying we hadnt taken the next big step in the relationship and is confused. I have heard nothing from her (which is a good thing) but i get the impression that she doesnt know what she wants. I did tell her that i loved her and didnt want to break up but that didnt work.We ended on good terms and she told me she was very confused about what she wants in life now and needs the pieces to fall around her. She knows I was planning to propose (bad timing) and has told friends that its a shame it took a breakup for me to want to propose etc but the truth is that I bought the ring way before all this happened (and she knows this). Anyway,since the breakup I have been trying to better myself and get on with my life (booking trips,new clothes etc). She moved out into a friends house and is renting a bedroom. Most eves she is sittting in the room on fbook, eating rubbish food, drinking lots of wine with friends, silly attention seeking status' on facebook etc. She has also lost a lot of weight and looks different. She is not the girl that I remember. She has also let a few of our mutual friends down with arrangements and they are getting a little annoyed with her actions. Its just confusing that she has let go of so much. We had a lovely house, great friends, got on so well, had time apart so she could go travelling for 4 months. Love was never a problem and we were constantly affectionate with each other. Everyone assumed that we would be together for the long run. Cant believe that she has become this person and its a real shame. Im not going to contact her so dont worry. We live in a small town and its hard not to hear things because of all our friends. She is 25 and im 31. It seems like she is having a mid-mid life crisis. If she wanted to come back right now I would say 'no' as I dont like thew person she is at the moment. Any thoughts?
smudge21 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 You say you're trying to move on and get on with your life, yet you seem to know a hell of a lot about hers, definitely considering you're supposed to be NC. The fact is, people change but also when we're with someone we see them through rose tinted glasses and put them on a pedestal. We see the best in them and often refuse to see the negatives. They may even hide some of their negatives in order to make things work with someone, in other words, they change for us but then change back when a relationship ends. You can't understand this or work it out, it just happens. The more you think about it, the more you think about her... and that's never good. She's living her life doing whatever it is she wants to do, so let her get on with it and you go and live yours. My ex is the same, very different to the person I knew, but there's nothing I can do about that.
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