melaniebell Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I've been with my boyfriend tor seven months now. Recently, I've started to feel a little neglected. He typically goes days without contacting me (he's gotten better than he used to be but he'll still go a day or two) and we only see each other twice a week, but lately it's only been once a week. Two weeks ago I asked him to go do something, but he said he had hurt himself at work and wanted to rest but I could "still come over if I wanted to". I took that as he just wanted to rest so I just left him alone. Fast forward to today when I was supposed to see him but he said he was sick and he didn't want to get me sick. I said I didn't mind but he said he was resting, playing video games and I "could come over if I really wanted to". I again took that as he wanted to be alone so I let him be. I feel a little hurt, I guess just because I do really want to see him. I very rarely get to see him because he's either working or with his friends, so when I don't get to see him I get upset and start to feel neglected. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, am I overreacting? I feel like I'm acting childish because I refused to reply back to his last text, but I figured that was better than snapping at him. He is a good boyfriend otherwise, he is very attentive when I'm with him and spoils me with very nice gifts for my birthday and holidays. Am I just being needy?
leftfordead2 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I've been with my boyfriend tor seven months now. Recently, I've started to feel a little neglected. He typically goes days without contacting me (he's gotten better than he used to be but he'll still go a day or two) and we only see each other twice a week, but lately it's only been once a week. Two weeks ago I asked him to go do something, but he said he had hurt himself at work and wanted to rest but I could "still come over if I wanted to". I took that as he just wanted to rest so I just left him alone. Fast forward to today when I was supposed to see him but he said he was sick and he didn't want to get me sick. I said I didn't mind but he said he was resting, playing video games and I "could come over if I really wanted to". I again took that as he wanted to be alone so I let him be. I feel a little hurt, I guess just because I do really want to see him. I very rarely get to see him because he's either working or with his friends, so when I don't get to see him I get upset and start to feel neglected. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, am I overreacting? I feel like I'm acting childish because I refused to reply back to his last text, but I figured that was better than snapping at him. He is a good boyfriend otherwise, he is very attentive when I'm with him and spoils me with very nice gifts for my birthday and holidays. Am I just being needy? Um, why didn't you go over to his house when he suggested, instead of sulking and complaining on his board? You could have taken the opportunity to take care of him or something. I'm sure you know what it feels like to be sick, so yes, I think you are overreacting.
FitChick Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Um, why didn't you go over to his house when he suggested, instead of sulking and complaining on his board? You could have taken the opportunity to take care of him or something. I'm sure you know what it feels like to be sick, so yes, I think you are overreacting. I agree. You missed a great opportunity to show him that you are a caring girlfriend. You could have cooked for him or picked up a takeaway, done errands if he needed something from the store and generally fussed over him. Guys love that!
D-Lish Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I don't like to have to say it, but when someone really likes you, they will go out of their way to make the effort to see you. Think about how you feel about him and how much you want to see him- don't you deserve to be with someone that feels the same way and wants the same? I don't think you are being needy, I think you are tuning into the fact that he's checking out and that's causing you to have panicky feelings. When my ex was breaking up with me, we went from seeing one another almost daily to him being "sick, tired, busy, etc".... That's a sign of loss of interest. When he's saying things like- "you can come over if you want..." He's basically saying he doesn't want to make the effort, but you can if you want to. In my book, that's not good enough. Someone that is really "into" you will make more of an effort than this guy is. After 7 months things should be amping up, not slipping backwards. 2
eleanorhurting Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I agree with D-lish. Something is not right. I am glad you are realizing it now. I hope you can fix it and make it work.
SJC2008 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Or it could be his style of communication. My best friend of 15 years talks like that. If he's out somewhere he'll say "hey you can come if you want to" but it means "hey come chill with me at the bar". Now if that's not his normal invite lingo then yes there is cause for concern. You are not being needy, you have a legitimate concern. You could have used it as an opp to show you care about him.
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