AcaciaStrain Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Well, i found a new girl, she's 1000x more attractive, nicer than my ex. Which Is why I originally joined this site for. Although i have a problem with this new girl. She doesn't want to commit. I've known her for a year, we get on great, have same interests and so forth. Last couple of weeks we've been getting intimate. " weeks ago it was touching and groping, and last week it was kissing. She's constantly text me after and says she likes me. The problem i have after i kissed her she text me this the morning after. "I'm sorry for kissing you" I asked "why?" She said "because i didn't want to lead you on. You know i like you but i shouldn't have kissed you so soon. I'm not ready for anyone else yet, but tonight i couldn't help myself, you are very attractive." She's been known to be a tease, so do i carry on or just leave it? I really do like her, but i can't be played yet again for another ****ing year. Help would be appreciated.
puresynphony Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I would lay low for a while, take a step back. Give her some time and space so that she gets the chance to miss what she has with you. She cant control herself around you, so taking a step should make her chase you if that's what u want. Being silent with her should drive her wild. U don't want to be chasing her and giving her the power to do whatever she wants with you, u want the opposite, u want the control over the situation. He who cares least controls the relationship or the situation. Step back and i'm confident she will come after you.
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 Does that include texting? Shall i lay low on the texting. No doubt she'll text me 2moro. Cheers for the advice.
puresynphony Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Texting, emailing, talking, everything. You want to move out of her life all together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It sounds like she really likes you so I highly doubt that she will let u go so easily. Let her contact you, so ur in control. Then when she does contact you I would not be so flirty and touchy feely if u know what I mean, keep ur distance. She told u that she does not want to lead u on so stop playing her game and play yours, if she asks u whats wrong? Tell her u said u dont want to lead me on or move forward so there is not much point in continuing the little lust trip that u guys are on. unless u want her as a Fbuddy, I would step back so that you stay in control of the situation, that way she cant lead u on cause ur controlling what happens. She might be playing games with you, teasing and so forth, im not sure, but if you just chill for the moment and let her chase you, she will no doubt fall for you.
puresynphony Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 If u distance urself and be a little colder she will question herself and think whats wrong with him? whats wrong with me? I wonder why he stopped being flirtatious? Does he still like me? U want her to be asking herself these questions. And then u will be in control, not her. u will be making the moves. If she texts u tomor, dont text back right away, I would text her the next day and say sorry for the late reply but u were busy doing something. Make her wait and wonder, u want your image burnt into her mind. Let me know how things go. I have been doing this for years bro, I know it works.
Instyle Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Not really sure about puresynphony's answer! I have been with many women and the being distant thing doesn't really work... Most women just think that you don't care if you don't contact them.... Why play the game of trying to control or manipulate a person... It is all about feelings and attraction.... Just be spontaneous and dare....let her know your feelings, your wishes, let her know the great things about her...why not? If you don't someone else will and you will lose her! Women like being chased and seduced, romance and compliments..... My girlfriend hates players and guys that play that game of calculating when they should contact or not and who should make the first step..... Why not just being yourself and act yourself, and if you don't make it, it is just not her... Who wants not to act natural and have a calendar on when it is best to text or not, juste yourself! If you dont want to be played, dont play either....it could work for a bit but not for long I garantee you! Puresynphony tells you to be in control, but we're in 2012 mate, we can't control anyone and certainly not a woman! I just think it is men and women are equal, both have feelings and differences, trying to control her, would make u lose her for sure! In ancient times and maybe in some old fashioned countries, or religious countries, men control women. Not here, not in 2012 :-) Women hate players but love charmers! Charm her, win her heart, do fun things, surprise her, and win her heart! Being distant and cold, will disconnect you for sure! If the connection is lost, she'll never be ready and will fall for someone else. Good luck and let me know your thoughts :-)
puresynphony Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Hi Instyle, I don't want him to control her or manipulate her, I was just advising that he takes control of the situation so she stops with the games and the tease. Its not a good idea that he keeps pursuing her only to keep receiving texts like the one he got before, i'm sure he does not want to keep being rejected. I was just advising to turn the tables so that she pursues him. Men like being chased as well, I never told him to not show romance or give compliments, all that is great when the time is right. Who said anything about players? It has nothing to do with being natural or not natural, it's just being smart in his approach towards the situation. You obviously don't know much about female psychology and how they behave in certain situations from your uneducated comments. Yes it is 2012 and females have had the same DNA as they did millions of years ago, so I don't quite get your point. Of course we are equal, but not equal in how we handle certain situations. Once again it has nothing to do with controlling her, he is just controlling the situation much smarter than before. And putting himself in a better position. I have no idea why you keep mentioning the word player, it has nothing to do with anything i'm saying or his situation, A player is someone that has multiple women going at once, that is clearly not acaciastrain's case. So why even mention the word. He wont get the opportunity to charm her if she is always blowing him off with texts like before. How is he going to do fun things with her and sweep her of her feet if she is not ready for anyone? She will just keep leading him on, and she will have the power and control over the situation. If the connection is lost she'll never be ready? She is not ready now. She likes him so the connection will not be lost. It will make her hungry for more, she will desire him for real rather than play games and lead him on. She will not fall for someone else because she already has an emotional connection with him now, although she is not ready my advice will certainly speed up the process. I guess your entitled to your opinion, and being that it is the year 2012, I assumed that your opinion would of been much more educated than that.
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 Thanks for the advice. Doesn't "heart grow fonder" work only if you've been intimate for a long time? I've only just started getting intimate with this girl.. She asked how i'm doing today, i haven't replied yet. I think she still loves her ex. I usually see her on monday nights, with my mates for a few drinks, but i think i might go to another club instead. Do you think that'll make her wonder?
puresynphony Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Now u think she still loves her ex. THIS CHICK SOUNDS like she is all over the place. She will def wonder where you are if u go to diff club, she seems pretty attached to you though. Go and see her tonight and if she tries to kiss you and if things heat up, just play it cool and let her know that you don't want to lead her on if she is not ready. I just don't want you to receive another text like you did before, is that going to happen every time you guys kiss? Eventually you will have to lay the cards on the table and find out which path she is going down. Go and see her but hold back a little, let her come on to you, LET HER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, ASK HER IN A CHEEKY MANNER SO YOUR READY NOW? Tell her that you don't want to lead her on. TURN THE TABLES. See how you can control the situation that way? You put yourself in a better position than last time, your not setting yourself up for her to play you or send you another text like before. I have written a book on dating and meeting women, if your interseted I'll send you a free copy via email, just to show you I'm credible and I know what I'm talking about. Let me know
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Bottom line is you're going to get burned in the end, she's making it clear she's not into you to the point of something ultra romantic or long-term. Everything inbetween, all the details you try and convince yourself things will turn around...in the end will prove fruitless. Take what you can get IF you wanted to be with this girl, she seemed to have given in and thrown you a bone, just don't ask for the rest of the meal because you'll just get burned. Take it or leave it for what it is, If you can't move on, she's not that into you....you're just a reliable backup. She's teased you for a year and you got it in, in the end.
puresynphony Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 They have known each other for a year but only just started to get intimate the last few weeks, which tells me that he has a chance to make this something more long term eventually. She seems confused right now but highly attached to him, so if he plays his cards right i believe he can have this woman for the long term.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 They have known each other for a year but only just started to get intimate the last few weeks, which tells me that he has a chance to make this something more long term eventually. She seems confused right now but highly attached to him, so if he plays his cards right i believe he can have this woman for the long term. She's not confused, she just likes his attention so she's using texting as bait. Any girl who is ready for a relationship will not act the way she is acting now. Being a girl myself, I certainly wouldn't act a tease with a guy I see potential in. It sends the wrong message.
Star Gazer Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Any girl who is ready for a relationship will not act the way she is acting now. Being a girl myself, I certainly wouldn't act a tease with a guy I see potential in. It sends the wrong message. Like sleeping in his bed with him on the first date?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Like sleeping in his bed with him on the first date? SG are you so bored you have to patronize my every post and stalk my every response? I didn't sleep with him okay. And stop threadjacking.
kaylan Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Like sleeping in his bed with him on the first date? Obvious troll is obvious.
puresynphony Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 She's not confused, she just likes his attention so she's using texting as bait. Any girl who is ready for a relationship will not act the way she is acting now. Being a girl myself, I certainly wouldn't act a tease with a guy I see potential in. It sends the wrong message. I just assumed that she might be confused because acacia said she still might be in love with her ex. I guess there might be more to the story than we know.
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 I played it cool, didn't interact with her much and spent most of the night with my mates. She seemed to be watching me when i was talking to these girls, maybe a bit jealous. Been texting me since constantly. If it happens it happens. If not, i'll move one.
puresynphony Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Nice work my friend, she says she is not ready but cant stop contacting you. Sounds like she has already fallen for you. You have turned the tables, your in control now of what ever happens. Best Wishes, PureSynphony
puresynphony Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Thanks Acaciastrain for staying loyal to my advice. Appreciate that.
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