malibustacydoll Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Hi everyone. I have been in my own place for a few weeks now-- living alone. I was in a long term relationship that ended a few months ago. I then had a new guy in my life that isn't around now and is still playing with my emotions. I have been unable to concentrate on anything in my life and am extremely behind on things. Nights and weekends are absolutely killing me here. I can't hold myself together. All I do is sit around and cry. I can barely hold myself together in public. I have friends in the area-- but honestly I don't like any of them that much. I have been trying to exercise more. I have been trying to get out-- but I just end up driving around crying. How do I handle tonight? How do I handle the rest of the weekend alone? Please.. anyone... I have never felt so alone in my entire life.
Author malibustacydoll Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 anyone please? I am still sitting here crying and it's getting dark out-- I am dreading tonight...
coopster Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Hi everyone. I have been in my own place for a few weeks now-- living alone. I was in a long term relationship that ended a few months ago. I then had a new guy in my life that isn't around now and is still playing with my emotions. I have been unable to concentrate on anything in my life and am extremely behind on things. Nights and weekends are absolutely killing me here. I can't hold myself together. All I do is sit around and cry. I can barely hold myself together in public. I have friends in the area-- but honestly I don't like any of them that much. I have been trying to exercise more. I have been trying to get out-- but I just end up driving around crying. How do I handle tonight? How do I handle the rest of the weekend alone? Please.. anyone... I have never felt so alone in my entire life. BY making a plan how you are not going to feel this way next weekend. Plan something to do tomorrow, now. Driving around when your that emotional is not a good idea. Go for a walk instead. Walk somewhere and have lunch, Do something you haven`t done for ages that you enjoy. Rent a load of films that you love and spend the day watching them , while you plan how not to feel like this next weekend ( or ever again ) You have `friends` you dont like? Go make friends with someone you do like then. Go talk to a complete stranger. Know someone that has a dog? Offer to take it for a walk ... very relaxing( unless the dog is a complete wacko , then its not ) bottom line? Do something...ANYTHING !! cya around
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Well … unfortunately, the best I have to offer you is not going to sound very meaningful at this time, but here you go: You need to just take it one day at a time or one hour at a time, if you need to. Time is what is going to help you, so you need to get a good chunk of it between you and this break up. Are you missing your ex, or are you upset about the guy who is messing with your mind? Whether you like the friends much or not, connect with them. I'm sure you can find things to like about them. Whatever they are doing, do it with them. Bowling, whatever. When you are home by yourself, watch DVD's. They take up hours and hours. Exercising is a good idea too. It will get better. Most of us have been where you are and we all feel your pain.
Numb79 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I know this feeling sucks. But ask yourself this..... Do you think the other person is sitting around doing the same thing you are? Most likely not. So why are we sitting here freaking out while the other person in living their lives as if we never existed? I know its easier said than done. My situation is a little bit worse than yours. My break up was about 4 weeks ago.... and during that time frame, I broke my foot. Even if I wanted to go out and get my mind off things.... I can't!! I just keep telling myself.... if the other person can just walk out as if the past 5 yrs never happened... then they aren't worth my time!! Just try to stay strong. Just keep on posting on here if it helps. I tend to spend my down time on this site.... not always posting but at least I am reading and trying to gain some insight on this whole situation. Keep your head up, things will get easier in time....... 1
Old Flame Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 When me and my ex broke up, I thought "I'm gonna take advantage of this by doing some things i always wanted to do". I wanted to learn how to play music. I went to the music store and bought a saxophone. I would practice everytime I started to feel bad. Soon, I could actually make myself feel better by playing music. As time went on, I taught myself to play guitar, drums, and keyboard too. I also strarted to build a library in my house. I strated reading and saving the books I read. I also bought a metal detector and started researching treasure hunting. The music, book clubs, metal detecting clubs, and my work as a horseshoer have presented me with the chances to meet all sorts of women. Between my hobbies and my work, and reading, I don't have time to sulk. You sound like your biggest problem is that your life is boring because you wrap your life around other people. Take charge of your life, and you will never be bored or unhappy. A happy life doesn't just happen, it has to be cultivated like a garden. 3
pie2 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 When you are home by yourself, watch DVD's. They take up hours and hours. But only comedies, because everything else is probably going to be extra depressing! Don't worry OP, I guarentee that this too shall pass...keep reminding yourself that you WILL get through this. The...metal detecting clubs...have presented me with the chances to meet all sorts of women. Wow, there really are metal detecting clubs? Have you actually found anything valuable (besides all sorts of women!)?
Old Flame Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 But only comedies, because everything else is probably going to be extra depressing! Don't worry OP, I guarentee that this too shall pass...keep reminding yourself that you WILL get through this. Wow, there really are metal detecting clubs? Have you actually found anything valuable (besides all sorts of women!)? There is a forum called friendly metal detecting. We talk about the hobby. We have group hunts. I have hunted with the Wyoming group, Black Hills group, and Montana group. When I have a long holiday wekend i usually travel as much as 500 miles for a hunt. I'm going to florida on a underwatwer hunt this summer. I just finished learning how to scuba. I've found a lot of things treasure hunting. Gold and Silver coins, and such. A great way to find treasure is to find a really old fence. Back in the day, people used to use fence banks. They always buried their loot under the removable corner post. They die and nobody ever finds it, until...... 2
pie2 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 There is a forum called friendly metal detecting. We talk about the hobby. We have group hunts. I have hunted with the Wyoming group, Black Hills group, and Montana group. When I have a long holiday wekend i usually travel as much as 500 miles for a hunt. I'm going to florida on a underwatwer hunt this summer. I just finished learning how to scuba. I've found a lot of things treasure hunting. Gold and Silver coins, and such. A great way to find treasure is to find a really old fence. Back in the day, people used to use fence banks. They always buried their loot under the removable corner post. They die and nobody ever finds it, until...... I had no idea how involved this is...it sounds fun !
jus d'orange Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 To the OP, and in general: At times, I have felt absolutely shattered by the break-up. However, I have found a 4-faceted approach to getting over it to be so helpful. I've done way better than I thought. That isn't to say it isn't really hard, but here's what's helped me... I guess they're somewhat in order. 1) I have focused on keeping my dignity together (it's okay to cry, but I shouldn't think of myself as some broken soul-- gotta keep things in perspective!). If you're falling behind on things, they're only going to stress you out, make you feel worse about yourself, and slow the healing process. 2) I have resolved to do better in what I do in life -- school, friendships and relationship with family members, work, etc. I want to be somebody! 3) I have made efforts to do new things, like posting on this forum, that are helping me move on. I've taken up biking, as well, and am really enjoying that. I've been making a renewed effort to be kind and help others too: whether that's simple things, or perhaps volunteering your time to help a cause you care about, it helps a lot to feel good about yourself and to do good in the world. 4) I've set about cleaning house on myself and deciding who I want to be from here forward in life. I've got myself set up with therapy, went and got a new haircut, have been hitting the gym with a vengeance, making it a habit to be excited about the opportunities I have in life, as well as enjoying simple things more. Telling myself to get out there every day and prove my strength has been great, too. I like to think about how great it will be to be a strong, single individual who can really stand on his own. Part of this is asking yourself what happened with the relationship (as objectively as you can), learning to forgive, and move on while learning as much as you can about how to have a better relationship in the future. I often feel really bad about how the relationship is now gone, but I can't change the past... and being a strong individual who's taking on their demons and their opportunities with vigor, who's moving on with life, who's working to become the best, most independent version of myself I can be... I figure that will make any relationship I have in the future (including any possible reconciliation with my ex, where both of us to want it) so much better. I'll be way more of a catch! Remember you deserve to have a great life! You deserve to be exactly the person you want to be (not dependent on others)-- you only get one shot at all of this, so you need to make it count! If you pick up great hobbies as others have suggested, reinvest in the good things you already have in life, you will find that time is moving by and you're healing whilst becoming a stronger person.
Mr Scorpio Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 You just have to pass the time as comfortably as you can. For me personally watching TV/movies didn't help. It was too easy for my mind to wander. What worked best for me was reading -- and lots of it -- mostly on this site. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of stories from others who have been where you currently are. Not only does your mind have to be active while reading, but it will help give you perspective and give you something to relate to. 1
Recommended Posts