Pacman Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Hello y'all its been a while since I've posted here. I am now 25 with a BS in pre-med biology. My whole life I've always wanted to be a Doctor. I am retaking some classes to get A's in them and reapplying to med school since I didn't get in my first try It dawned on me after reading threads on medical students and the life of physicians. Once I get into med school, 7 years of my life will basically just studying medicine. I'll be working 80 hour weeks and still have to be on call. Basically my job will be my life. Eventually I'm going to want to start a family but I fear being a physician will prevent me from being a great father but most of all a great husband. My dad wasn't there for me growing up. I was fatherless until 8th grade. He is a great dad no complaints. I told myself I want to be there for my kids as they grow up. More importantly I want to be there for my wife. I want to make her feel special. Although I am currently single, these kinds of things constantly run through my head as I pursue medicine. The What Ifs? I really don't know where I'm heading with this thread. I guess I could ask if anyone has had any experience in dealing with these kinds of situations?
jerbear Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Hello y'all its been a while since I've posted here. I am now 25 with a BS in pre-med biology. My whole life I've always wanted to be a Doctor. I am retaking some classes to get A's in them and reapplying to med school since I didn't get in my first try If at first you don't succeed, try again! I got accepted after my third attempt when applying to the same school. It dawned on me after reading threads on medical students and the life of physicians. Once I get into med school, 7 years of my life will basically just studying medicine. I'll be working 80 hour weeks and still have to be on call. Basically my job will be my life. That is the truth! I had no life when I was in graduate school, let alone med school. Pretty much any professional education: law, business, medicine, even some MS degrees; will be learning, clinics, networking, projects. There is no time for dealing with newborns or relationship drama. Eventually I'm going to want to start a family but I fear being a physician will prevent me from being a great father but most of all a great husband. My dad wasn't there for me growing up. I was fatherless until 8th grade. He is a great dad no complaints. I told myself I want to be there for my kids as they grow up. More importantly I want to be there for my wife. I want to make her feel special.That is a good view but you have to be YOU first. If you have regrets about not being a doctor later in life, every can fall apart. You'll get resentment. Not saying it will happen but just saying. I resented not settling down but I got a MS degree because I always wanted a degree from my dream school. Although I am currently single, these kinds of things constantly run through my head as I pursue medicine. The What Ifs? Stay the course. You'll be surprised who you meet during your clinical and residency. I've met Drs (female) and facilities couples. It all balances out. I really don't know where I'm heading with this thread. I guess I could ask if anyone has had any experience in dealing with these kinds of situations? I would say, if your childhood dream is to become a doctor; then do it. You might meet Drs. / Ms. Pacman along the way and chomp on some ghosts while you're at it.
FitChick Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 YOu won't be able to afford a family because you will be paying back a small fortune in loans for years to come. When you do marry, pick a doctor or nurse who will understand the profession better than a civilian.
pie2 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Eventually I'm going to want to start a family but I fear being a physician will prevent me from being a great father but most of all a great husband. I'm pretty naive about the life of a physician, but is it a requirement that you have to work such long hours after your residency? Or do some physicians work excruciating hours to pursue money, status etc.? What if you went for a Physician Assistant or Pharmaceutical degree (something a little less time-consuming maybe?), yet still in the medical field?
Author Pacman Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 I'm pretty naive about the life of a physician, but is it a requirement that you have to work such long hours after your residency? Or do some physicians work excruciating hours to pursue money, status etc.? What if you went for a Physician Assistant or Pharmaceutical degree (something a little less time-consuming maybe?), yet still in the medical field? I thought about PA. And I'm still thinking about it. I mean I can still prescribe and diagnose and see patients. The thing is, they don't do grade forgiveness like D.O schools do YOu won't be able to afford a family because you will be paying back a small fortune in loans for years to come. When you do marry, pick a doctor or nurse who will understand the profession better than a civilian. Well I can't really pick who I fall in love with lol. If i were to fall in love with another Dr or a Nurse then so be it haha If at first you don't succeed, try again! I got accepted after my third attempt when applying to the same school. That is the truth! I had no life when I was in graduate school, let alone med school. Pretty much any professional education: law, business, medicine, even some MS degrees; will be learning, clinics, networking, projects. There is no time for dealing with newborns or relationship drama. That is a good view but you have to be YOU first. If you have regrets about not being a doctor later in life, every can fall apart. You'll get resentment. Not saying it will happen but just saying. I resented not settling down but I got a MS degree because I always wanted a degree from my dream school. Stay the course. You'll be surprised who you meet during your clinical and residency. I've met Drs (female) and facilities couples. It all balances out. I would say, if your childhood dream is to become a doctor; then do it. You might meet Drs. / Ms. Pacman along the way and chomp on some ghosts while you're at it. Are you in med school/done with med school? I'm currently trying to get into D.O schools now because they offer grade forgiveness.
Els Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I thought about PA. And I'm still thinking about it. I mean I can still prescribe and diagnose and see patients. The thing is, they don't do grade forgiveness like D.O schools do What is 'grade forgiveness'? Whatever it is, I really, really, REALLY doubt that it is something worth basing your entire career decision on. Speaking from the perspective of someone who considered med school seriously a long time ago, then went into an auxiliary field and met many med school students, and is currently in a R with one: If the biggest factor you are basing your decision of whether or not to be a doctor on, is 'grade forgiveness', you need to do some serious introspection into WHY you want to be one. Have you ever shadowed doctors as they work in a hospital? You should. If there isn't a program to allow you to do that there, then you should volunteer as a ward aide/cleaner/clerk just so you can observe them for a few weeks. IMO far too many people romanticize medicine. They have never even been into a hospital ward, never seen a patient die, never seen the sort of pressure they have where human lives rely on your competence, never actually experienced a 16-hour workday. I know far too many people who have gone into medicine just because the idea of 'being a doctor' appeals to them, and then regret their decision when the idea transforms into reality. Don't be one of them. There are indeed people who love medicine and are cut out to be doctors, and for those people, the sacrifices (financial, life, etc) that they make for their career is worth it. For others, it rarely, rarely is. You need to find out which one you are. Each time I see my bf return from work after a 36-hour weekend, it just floods me with relief that I did not choose that path.
Author Pacman Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 What is 'grade forgiveness'? Whatever it is, I really, really, REALLY doubt that it is something worth basing your entire career decision on. Speaking from the perspective of someone who considered med school seriously a long time ago, then went into an auxiliary field and met many med school students, and is currently in a R with one: If the biggest factor you are basing your decision of whether or not to be a doctor on, is 'grade forgiveness', you need to do some serious introspection into WHY you want to be one. Have you ever shadowed doctors as they work in a hospital? You should. If there isn't a program to allow you to do that there, then you should volunteer as a ward aide/cleaner/clerk just so you can observe them for a few weeks. IMO far too many people romanticize medicine. They have never even been into a hospital ward, never seen a patient die, never seen the sort of pressure they have where human lives rely on your competence, never actually experienced a 16-hour workday. I know far too many people who have gone into medicine just because the idea of 'being a doctor' appeals to them, and then regret their decision when the idea transforms into reality. Don't be one of them. There are indeed people who love medicine and are cut out to be doctors, and for those people, the sacrifices (financial, life, etc) that they make for their career is worth it. For others, it rarely, rarely is. You need to find out which one you are. Each time I see my bf return from work after a 36-hour weekend, it just floods me with relief that I did not choose that path. C'mon now Elswyth, you make it seem like I woke up one day wanting to be a physician Grade forgiveness is something D.O schools offer in where if you retake a class they will replace your old grade with the new grade. Since I graduated with a GPA of 2.8, M.D/P.A schools will be impossible to get in since they don't offer it. I have over 1700+ hours in the healthcare field. I work currently as a tech in the orthopedic floor (hospital), I volunteer in the Cardiovascular floor. I shadowed at physician at a primary care. So as you can see after I graduated with my pre-med degree I surrounded myself with hospitals to see if I really want to do it. And Yes I have seen people die and I have seen the crazy hours Drs work. It's because of the crazy hours that worries me. I'm no superman. I wanna be a great father, a great husband and a great doctor. I just don't know if i can be all 3. Maybe coz I'm still young that I think this way? I'm in my soul searching phase of life I guess -and to think my first posts on this site we're about freshman yr relationships- hahaha
Els Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 C'mon now Elswyth, you make it seem like I woke up one day wanting to be a physician Grade forgiveness is something D.O schools offer in where if you retake a class they will replace your old grade with the new grade. Since I graduated with a GPA of 2.8, M.D/P.A schools will be impossible to get in since they don't offer it. I have over 1700+ hours in the healthcare field. I work currently as a tech in the orthopedic floor (hospital), I volunteer in the Cardiovascular floor. I shadowed at physician at a primary care. So as you can see after I graduated with my pre-med degree I surrounded myself with hospitals to see if I really want to do it. And Yes I have seen people die and I have seen the crazy hours Drs work. It's because of the crazy hours that worries me. I'm no superman. I wanna be a great father, a great husband and a great doctor. I just don't know if i can be all 3. Maybe coz I'm still young that I think this way? I'm in my soul searching phase of life I guess -and to think my first posts on this site we're about freshman yr relationships- hahaha That's all good, then. Sorry, yes, I have met PLENTY of people who 'just woke up one day and decided to be a doctor' - and boy, that usually does not end up well. I won't lie, medicine will likely delay your family life a bit. But I think men have it easier in this aspect because it is easier for them to start a family at a later age. Some doctors meet other doctors who are also okay with starting a family later. Others meet spouses from outside the field who are also supportive, or has a less demanding job and is able to cover for them in the 'home' department. It isn't easy though. If you genuinely know that this is the path for you, I would def advise you to go for it.
jerbear Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Are you in med school/done with med school? I'm currently trying to get into D.O schools now because they offer grade forgiveness.Actually I am not in the medical field. I know some that work in the field. Your predicament is like those in law, business, engineering, and some heavy academic programs. Just think about it, college is about 4 years, you work for 2 years, then 2-4 years for a MS/PhD, then work for 2 years before settling down. Some get lucky and be great parents with good careers. I think you should continue slugging through med school and not be afraid to meet people. There are supportive spouses as another poster mentioned. I think you'll be fine.
petal28 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 My eldest brother started med school when he was 29, got married the following year and had twins the year after. He is now 37 and whilst his family have had a few struggles, it is nowhere near the regret he would be feeling if he had not pursued his dream. He loves his career. I would say go for it.
mitchell Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 I'm an MD. Don't paralyze yourself with the "what if's" of life. Yes, medical school is hard, expensive and lengthy, but if that's what you want to do, you can make it work out. Any specific questions?
GorillaTheater Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 I went through law school while married and working. And our first child was born one year in. Now, I don't think law school is as tough as medical school, but things were pretty tough for a while. But it was doable. Don't let your concerns stop you from pursuing what you want in life.
FitChick Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Well I can't really pick who I fall in love with Yes, you can if you only date people in the medical field.
JohnP82 Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 OK, my roommate is in med school, my brother is a doctor, and so is my sister-in-law. You can definitely do it as long as you budget your time well. Med school takes up a lot of time, but that does not mean you cannot have a life. It just means that you have less free time that others. From what I've seen residency does occupy a lot of time, but it's for a finite amount of time. Once that is over your work hours are cut down from what I've seen, but that of course depends on your specialty. My brother works from 7-6 and has to be on call twice a month. My sister in law has pretty much the same hours but she's on call about 4 times a month. They're both anesthesiologist. I think you should follow your dreams as cheesy as that sounds. However I would like to add that I have noticed that people tend to date within the medical profession.
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