not seeing him and not talking to him isn't making me feel better

[my body is a cage]

It's been almost a month now since we broke up. We broke up on amicable terms, and he said very, very nice things to me and that he just couldn't be with me at this time. We both said we hoped we could be friends, and we have a lot in common and have so much fun together I know he meant it, but I haven't heard from him since he broke up with me.

 

It is hurtful that he hasn't even checked in to say hello. If we were so close/comfortable around each other before, why should a change in status mean that we cannot talk at all? It makes me feel like he doesn't actually care or mean the things he said to me.

 

I would never reach out to him, because for all I know he has moved on and is glad we are no longer together. Not hearing from him, talking to him, or seeing him is not making me feel better, though. I still think about him all the time, and miss him a lot. I am sort of in denial about the fact that the relationship is over - I keep hoping he will come around and change his mind, especially because we said such positive things about me and the relationship.

 

One weird thing is that my close friend was hosting a party/event at a club and she invited a (male) friend, and the friend invited him and he attended (even though they don't even really get along). I was supposed to attend, but decided not go having no idea he would be there, but I feel like he must have known it was very likely I would have gone. My close friend him hung out and she told him that I was supposed to have come. She said his reaction was inquisitive/curious as to why I wasn't there.

 

Hearing this felt really strange. On one hand, I felt that I dodged a bullet. Without knowing how he feels about me or why he isn't speaking to me, I would hate to run into him unexpectedly. In a way, it was sort of unfair bc he would have been prepared and I would not have. On the other hand, the fact that he was not reluctant to go to the party even though I might very well attend also makes me think his lack of communication is a result of lack of caring. If he is comfortable possibly seeing me, that makes me feel like he would be comfortable reaching out to me if he had any desire to do so....

[Dragonsden]

Stay strong and keep NC.

 

I would so change how I handled my BU. If I were to do it all over again I would gone NC right off the bat the moment I knew she is ending it all.

[CaliBabe]

It is still fresh, your at the one month mark. You will start to feel better about not seeing him at the 3 month mark. You will have gained perspective and insight and see the realtionship from an outside point of view. Continue being strong, you will be glad you did!

[my body is a cage]

Thank you for your responses. It feels mean not to have talked to him, I feel like I'm ignoring a close friend...

[mike588]

It is still fresh, your at the one month mark. You will start to feel better about not seeing him at the 3 month mark. You will have gained perspective and insight and see the realtionship from an outside point of view. Continue being strong, you will be glad you did!

 

This is so true. It's going to take time... It took me alot longer than one month. Keep N.C. stay busy and focus on yourself.

 

I'm 7 months into my b/u and was doing so well even at the 4 month mark..hang in there and keep posting as you feel you need.

 

You can do it!

[Numb79]

I agree that the one month mark is still too soon. I too am at the one month mark and it still bothers me not to hear from the other person. Its as if I am in total conflict with myself. Part of me want to hear her voice or have her reach out to me just to show that this relationship did matter to her as well. But at the same time, I know how bad it would hurt if that were to happen. So in all honesty, I don't know what I really want. The only thing I can do is continue with NC and hope that in time that these thoughts don't come as often until one day they don't come at all.

[mike588]

I agree that the one month mark is still too soon. I too am at the one month mark and it still bothers me not to hear from the other person. Its as if I am in total conflict with myself. Part of me want to hear her voice or have her reach out to me just to show that this relationship did matter to her as well. But at the same time, I know how bad it would hurt if that were to happen. So in all honesty, I don't know what I really want. The only thing I can do is continue with NC and hope that in time that these thoughts don't come as often until one day they don't come at all.

 

Like all of us after being dumped we want to her from our ex.that we meant something....I wanted it so bad believing it wouldn't happen....well it did..she contacted me and now I wish she wouldn't of...it does hurt.