Canguy Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 If a girl reschedules a date, or makes the date, who should be the one to follow up, me or her? Cheers.
puresynphony Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 If i were u I would reschedule the date, not her. ur the man, take lead. set everything up. the time, where u wil go, pick her up. Do it all, dont let her take charge of this, deep down she wants u to take lead. If u dont eventually she will try to run all over u. Keep the polarity even. keep u masculine and her feminine. NEVER REVERSE THESE ROLES 1
Author Canguy Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 If i were u I would reschedule the date, not her. ur the man, take lead. set everything up. the time, where u wil go, pick her up. Do it all, dont let her take charge of this, deep down she wants u to take lead. If u dont eventually she will try to run all over u. Keep the polarity even. keep u masculine and her feminine. NEVER REVERSE THESE ROLES How can I reschedule the date, she cancelled the date, so she has to reschedule, not me. I just wanna know who should do the follow up, should she call me, or should i follow up with her?
OrangeSnack Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 If a girl reschedules a date it's her way of rejecting you gently. She's not interested. In those situations when she tries to reschedule I turn the tables on her and reject her gently as well by saying "I'm busy on that day" or "I work that day" even if I'm really off. I have no intentions of trying to meet with her once she reschedules. i disagree I am sure her intention was not to play games with you and I personally dont think you should play games with her. My rule of thumb is first be yourself. Ask yourself what you would do? After all if it doesnt work it is a learning experience and you shouldnt take it personal. Don't be fake and play games with girls. That's so childish and it will not land you a long term relationship (if thats what youre looking for). Hope it will work out for you
CC12 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 In those situations when she tries to reschedule I turn the tables on her and reject her gently as well by saying "I'm busy on that day" or "I work that day" even if I'm really off. I have no intentions of trying to meet with her once she reschedules. That's kind of harsh. I mean, I guess I'd agree with your tactic if someone casually reschedules for no good reason, but things do come up and you can't expect people to ignore life to go to Red Lobster with you. How can I reschedule the date, she cancelled the date, so she has to reschedule, not me. I just wanna know who should do the follow up, should she call me, or should i follow up with her? What do you mean, "follow up?" And why can't you try asking her out again?
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 That's a deal-breaker for me too. I figure If you're really interested, you're not going to make plans and then just cancel them. How many times does something actually come up that really interferes? It's usually a choice to do something else and make an excuse to get out one thing to do another...basically you're coming in second or maybe even third depending on what's going on that day. If you feel it's justified or want to give her another chance, then she should have rescheduled already for a day when she initially cancelled. Otherwise that's a way of just getting out of the date. You can test the waters If you feel differently, I think It's a very submissive gesture to call back and reschedule to make plans rather than a masculine one....I think it's more masculine to be treated as a priority than an option, but that's just me. For me without the effort from her for the most part, then I'm over it...I'm not going to be cancelled on again or next week or another day when we make plans. Some people accept this, I think It's a bad idea and way to start off dating someone.
CC12 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 How many times does something actually come up that really interferes? It happens. There are plenty of personal responsibilities that can and should take priority over a date. Family, children, work, etc. This is especially true if it's a new relationship. I just think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to always make you a priority and show up every single time no matter what, and if they don't, it's a deal breaker and totally disrespectful. Things come up. It's nice to be understanding. But, yeah, if it happens more than once or twice, then at best the person is a flake and at worst they're just making excuses not to see you. she should have rescheduled already for a day when she initially cancelled. I thought she did reschedule? I'm not sure, at first he made it sound like she did, but then he's all, "How can I reschedule?! She should reschedule!!" OP, can you clarify what happened?
Instyle Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 How can I reschedule the date, she cancelled the date, so she has to reschedule, not me. I just wanna know who should do the follow up, should she call me, or should i follow up with her? You re the man, take the lead? In which century are you living puresynphony? No seriously, u guys just have to schedule whenever it is suitable for both of you, make it simple and don't stress :-)
Instyle Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Never reverse these roles? Hey mate, which century are you living in? Are you controlling your girlfriend and does that work? Do you have one btw?
puresynphony Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 its obvious instyle who controls and has the balls in your relationship. Certainly not you. A woman wants a man to take the lead in a relationship, espec a date, I dont control my girlfriend that has nothing to do with anything. If you didn't have the pussy in your relationship, you would understand that.
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) Let me be more clear and give you guys an example with what happened in my case. 1. The first time I asked this girl out at work, she said she couldn't go cuz of whatever reason, lets do it next week for sure. So next week comes, she doesnt bring anything up. Who should bring it up (follow up), me or her? 2. Second time she said lets go to the movies planned and confirmed with me, next day I see her she says: "oh, we're still going for that?", in a really shallow way, as if we didn't even plan anything which of course we did. I did not end up calling her the next day cuz of her atitude, and she was the one who suggested it and I had to bring it up to her even though it was her plan. Did I overreact or do the right thing? (at the time in my mind, I was thinking though it may have not been such a big deal that she gave atitude, the fact is the plan was made. If a girl plays game, she does that stuff before plans are set correct me if im wrong) Edited February 28, 2012 by Canguy
2sunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Let me be more clear and give you guys an example with what happened in my case. 1. The first time I asked this girl out at work, she said she couldn't go cuz of whatever reason, lets do it next week for sure. So next week comes, she doesnt bring anything up. Who should bring it up (follow up), me or her? 2. Second time she said lets go to the movies planned and confirmed with me, next day I see her she says: "oh, we're still going for that?", in a really shallow way, as if we didn't even plan anything which of course we did. I did not end up calling her the next day cuz of her atitude, and she was the one who suggested it and I had to bring it up to her even though it was her plan. Did I overreact or do the right thing? (at the time in my mind, I was thinking though it may have not been such a big deal that she gave atitude, the fact is the plan was made. If a girl plays game, she does that stuff before plans are set correct me if im wrong) If she's gonna be this unreliable and flakey - don't bother with her.
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Im probably going to post this on a different subject, but since its in the same relation... What you know a girl is shy? Should you deal with it accordingly and keep asking her out, or should you not make it your problem and move on? Thanks.
CC12 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 1. The first time I asked this girl out at work, she said she couldn't go cuz of whatever reason, lets do it next week for sure. So next week comes, she doesnt bring anything up. Who should bring it up (follow up), me or her? It's a positive sign that while she said no, she did show interest in seeing you another time. It wouldn't have killed you to just say, "Hey, when do you want to go do that thing we talked about last week?" 2. Second time she said lets go to the movies planned and confirmed with me, next day I see her she says: "oh, we're still going for that?", in a really shallow way, as if we didn't even plan anything which of course we did. I did not end up calling her the next day cuz of her atitude, and she was the one who suggested it and I had to bring it up to her even though it was her plan. Did I overreact or do the right thing? "Oh, we're still going for that?" is pretty lame and insulting and I don't really blame you for not calling her back. You're done with her now, right? If a girl plays game, she does that stuff before plans are set correct me if im wrong No, not necessarily. Some people have trouble outright rejecting someone or even just saying, "No, thank you," and it's easier for them to go along with plans and then just cancel at the last minute. It sucks and it's passive-aggressive and not nice at all, but there you go. Not everyone is like this, so don't let it sour you on asking girls out.
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 ^^^had to repost this as wouldnt let me edit^^ Im probably going to post this on a different subject, but since its in the same relation... When you know a girl is why, should you deal with it accordingly and keep asking her out, or should you not make it your problem and move on? Thanks.
CC12 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 When you know a girl is why, should you deal with it accordingly and keep asking her out, or should you not make it your problem and move on? If a girl is shy, deal with it accordingly. Understand that if she reschedules with you, then she's likely going to be too shy to initiate the next date. But if she's kind of impolite about it, "Oh, we're still doing that?" then you should move on.
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 ^^^had to repost this as wouldnt let me edit^^ Im probably going to post this on a different subject, but since its in the same relation... When you know a girl is why, should you deal with it accordingly and keep asking her out, or should you not make it your problem and move on? Thanks. When you know a girl is Shy, not why sry lol.
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 If a girl is shy, deal with it accordingly. Understand that if she reschedules with you, then she's likely going to be too shy to initiate the next date. But if she's kind of impolite about it, "Oh, we're still doing that?" then you should move on. Good tips, thanks for that. And yes I cut her off completely and she started to call me constanly and try to grab my attention in the office, but it aint worth it.
CC12 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Good tips, thanks for that. And yes I cut her off completely and she started to call me constanly and try to grab my attention in the office, but it aint worth it. Well, hold on now, if she's actually making attempts to communicate with you, that changes things a bit. If she's shy, she might just be socially awkward and said the wrong thing and wasn't proactive enough. Why don't you try asking her out again? If she flakes in any way, then be done with it. But with your stubbornness to follow up and her shyness, I can see where things might have gone wrong. And if you don't think asking her out again is a good idea, why don't you at least just talk to her? If it was actually a rejection, that doesn't automatically mean she's not worthy of your time, or anything. You don't need to cut someone off completely just because they don't want to go out with you (unless you're like infatuated with them or something, then it would probably be in your best interests not to be friends. Is that that case with you?)
Author Canguy Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Well, hold on now, if she's actually making attempts to communicate with you, that changes things a bit. If she's shy, she might just be socially awkward and said the wrong thing and wasn't proactive enough. Why don't you try asking her out again? If she flakes in any way, then be done with it. But with your stubbornness to follow up and her shyness, I can see where things might have gone wrong. And if you don't think asking her out again is a good idea, why don't you at least just talk to her? If it was actually a rejection, that doesn't automatically mean she's not worthy of your time, or anything. You don't need to cut someone off completely just because they don't want to go out with you (unless you're like infatuated with them or something, then it would probably be in your best interests not to be friends. Is that that case with you?) Well I didnt give details before and I wont now, but shes fooling around with another guy in the office while trying to to grab my attention still. I saw this other really creepy looking guy grabbin her butt and unbutting her bra strap and all. Im 10x better lookin this guy, so she made her choice, shes a weirdo anyway so im glad it worked out this way. Im only posting this mainly because I wanted some general feedback.
CC12 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Well I didnt give details before and I wont now, but shes fooling around with another guy in the office while trying to to grab my attention still. I saw this other really creepy looking guy grabbin her butt and unbutting her bra strap and all. Im 10x better lookin this guy, so she made her choice, shes a weirdo anyway so im glad it worked out this way. ...Oh. Well, you know what to do. Good luck with the next one!
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