ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Doing a bit of reassessing. Not sure if now is a good time for me to date seriously at all. Not least until I find some work or sort out my self-employment plans. I find that I tend to be optimistic most of the time, but lately I feel as though I'm at an age where I should be seizing every dating opportunity, but the fact I live at home, have literally £0 and no job is obviously not very attractive. Add to the fact that I am not yet at an adequate level of fitness and you have the makings of someone who will find it difficult to date confidently (and that's excluding my condition as I have pretty much nullified it in a public sense). It's not all bad, I'm feeling a little more comfortable talking to girls in general, and don't have a massive problem with approaching (still very hard). But it's more to calibrate myself into the state of being able to talk to girls easily and effectively without looking like a simp. That's been my mission for the last few months and I can say that I have succeeded. Now, I have doubts about whether it's a good idea for me to get into dating while I am still relatively a young virgin at 23. Should I put off the idea at least until I get myself sorted out? I think it would be best if I did personally as I don't feel I am in a position to have any kind of relations with a girl while I'm in the position I am in. Many may disagree, but this is just how I feel about it. Is it a good idea to postpone??
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 You know, when I had a dry spell having relocated and unable to find a particular job in the field I desired...which ended up having to take a job I wasn't crazy about but actually turned out pretty well because I've gotten far fast and might not even have to work in that position anymore, due to advancement...It wasn't that I didn't want to date when I was unemployed (although receiving unemployment), I just didn't feel like I was the kind of man I wanted to be while looking for a partner, I felt like I should concentrate on myself and invest energy elsewhere before I were to invest myself in any kind of relationship. And that's what I did...It wasn't because I couldn't date or even had no options, I did It because I chose to. Sure I made some "friends" along the way and that helped me deal with the loneliness and having someone to talk to but at the same time I knew I wasn't ready to give more than that...not with my life the way it was. It's a personal decision...some people say it's ok, others say it's not you should be out hustling every day...I know at least here in the United States there's a lot of good people looking for work who aren't lazy or fall under the stereotype at all...but they're struggling and feeling worse about it everyday just like thousands of other qualified people. It's important to set your priorities though...i need a job first and foremost, without one I can't do anything, therefore that is my utmost priority and that will remain so until objective completed. It's not that you can't have a relationship, and even some support from it...I guess just for me It's a pride thing, and the kind of women I'm interested, wouldn't consider dating a man without a job more than likely.
reallyhotguy Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 I recently got a gift certificate from my aunt for a custom shirt made by my favorite tailor. The problem is, my body's been changing due to my work at the gym. Clothes from last year are too tight on me now. I said to her "Wow, this is an awesome gift, but I really don't think I can cash this in anytime soon. My body keeps changing, the shirt won't fit after a while." As soon as I said that, all of my aunts made an exclamation of some kind, but it all amounted to the same message: "Don't wait!" And there really is no reason to wait. All that really matters is whether the shirt fits me today, and that I can have something that I can enjoy and look forward to right now. Just because I might (and probably will) grow out of it later is no reason to bar myself from happiness now. See what I'm getting at here, OP?
jobaba Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Doing a bit of reassessing. Not sure if now is a good time for me to date seriously at all. Not least until I find some work or sort out my self-employment plans. I find that I tend to be optimistic most of the time, but lately I feel as though I'm at an age where I should be seizing every dating opportunity, but the fact I live at home, have literally £0 and no job is obviously not very attractive. Add to the fact that I am not yet at an adequate level of fitness and you have the makings of someone who will find it difficult to date confidently (and that's excluding my condition as I have pretty much nullified it in a public sense). It's not all bad, I'm feeling a little more comfortable talking to girls in general, and don't have a massive problem with approaching (still very hard). But it's more to calibrate myself into the state of being able to talk to girls easily and effectively without looking like a simp. That's been my mission for the last few months and I can say that I have succeeded. Now, I have doubts about whether it's a good idea for me to get into dating while I am still relatively a young virgin at 23. Should I put off the idea at least until I get myself sorted out? I think it would be best if I did personally as I don't feel I am in a position to have any kind of relations with a girl while I'm in the position I am in. Many may disagree, but this is just how I feel about it. Is it a good idea to postpone?? Now might be the perfect time. Like Ninja implied ... life is not a linear relationship with slope = 1. Not everybody's lives keep improving. All of the people who absolutely require a person to be making 'this' much because they make 'that' much now. See what they think when they get laid off and are jobless next year. Life is more of ups and downs. Peaks and valleys. And when you are down, the lady who is good enough to find you and discover that you are WORKING your way up to your goal and you will get there and ... well you found somebody special.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 You sound a lot like me (I hope this thread wasn't due to my pessimism on these boards). I say if you feel comfortable putting yourself out there and dating then go for it. Me, I'm not comfortable or happy with my situation in life (no job, living at home) so for me I'm going to wait. But if you're ready then get out there.
Author ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 You sound a lot like me (I hope this thread wasn't due to my pessimism on these boards). I say if you feel comfortable putting yourself out there and dating then go for it. Me, I'm not comfortable or happy with my situation in life (no job, living at home) so for me I'm going to wait. But if you're ready then get out there. Yeah, I kinda made this thread with you in mind seeing as we are in almost identical situations except that I am not studying at the moment. It's true, I'm not completely comfortable dating while I am where I am. Since I made this thread though I have lined up 3 job interviews for next week and have a meeting about funding for a self-employment project, so fingers crossed it works out very soon.
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