Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 AdamAnt, I think you're needed back in the '80's. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/242/519128207_9aa20287a7.jpg
reallyhotguy Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Not all of us live in Mangina Land, though. Inside your mother? You kidding? Everyone's had a brief stint there at some point.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 You're always so AdamAnt. Now, back to stirring my cauldron and dusting my broom.
EasyHeart Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 A poster who calls himself "Adam Ant" don't get an "Adam Ant" reference? I think LS has hit a new low.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 A poster who calls himself "Adam Ant" don't get an "Adam Ant" reference? I think LS has hit a new low. I think he means he's "adamant." And maybe he's 12.
Author Jane2011 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 But neither you (nor anyone) has stated what you find offensive about the word "chick" nor why you feel that way. It's a totally imaginary fabricated grievance since there is nothing offensive about the term at all. It's a perfectly legitimate idiomatic expression as carhill points out from the 60's/70's (and probably well before that too). I suppose if we started calling women "honeys" that would offend them too? If it was good enough for the Beach Boys, it's good enough for me. Actually, how one regards a word is a combination of his/her own subjective opinion of the word and how the word is received/accepted in general (perhaps an ‘objective’ sense of the word). My subjective take on it: in and of itself, the term “chicks” or “chick” is not all that offensive. Maybe originally it was from the 60s and was meant as some neutral or even endearing term. I don’t doubt that it was, if someone in the know says as much. Regardless, in the time that I have been alive, it has developed negative connotations. When used by a guy (or over-used, I should say) I’m reminded of a particular personality type who thinks of women as stupid, disposable, annoying -- or, even if one doesn’t want to frame it in such extreme ways –- as bothersome, silly, naïve, or nagging. I rarely (maybe never) hear a guy use “chicks”/”chick” in any positive context, such as, “There’s this chick I really like.” “That chick means a lot to me.” “That is the most beautiful chick I have ever seen.” “I am very protective of chicks.” (It happens, but not often…) I more often hear the term used in some negative or cynical context (of varying degrees): “Chicks always say things like that.” “Chicks never give a guy a chance.” “Chicks like that don’t deserve it…” “Chicks never want to own up to their actions…” Objective take on the word: Even if I myself had no particular beef with the word, I’d have to acknowledge that it’s not widely accepted as a particularly respectful way to refer to women. The same way “dudes” isn’t horrible or blatantly disrespectful, but it’s not particularly nice and respectful either. (How often does one say “This is the dude I will love forever. This is the dude of my dreams.”) I didn’t decide that that is the case. Society decides that. The way language and slang has evolved (in meaning and usage) decides that. Another example: even if I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the words “sh*t” and “f*ck,” I can’t change the fact that society in general considers those words profane. I don’t go around putting my subjective opinion of the words (that there’s nothing wrong with them) ahead of acknowledgement that society doesn’t accept them as polite words. I don’t decide that I’m going to use those words anyway, no matter what, because *I* don’t see anything wrong with them and *I* don’t get why anyone would. I temper my own beliefs with social etiquette and decide to use the words, if I must, only in appropriate settings, if at all. I don’t particularly like a guy who can’t or doesn’t make those same sort of choices. Aside from that, I’ve dated guys in the past who met a certain level of polish. They’re not super-sophisticated or anything, but they’re pretty classy in presentation of themselves. Even if I don’t find “chicks” or “chick” all that offensive (and know that the guy doesn’t mean any harm in it), it still feels like a downgrade in class compared to some of the better boyfriends I’ve had in the past. The guy we’re talking about happens to be texting me right now (and has been for the past 30 minutes). He’s nice, so far, and may well end up being one of the nicer men I’ll ever meet in my life. Who knows. I’m not crazy about his presentation of himself on the phone the other day, though, and would be fooling myself to think it’s not an indicator. Even if he did end up being someone I liked a lot, right off the bat I can say that he’d be someone I’d worry about bringing around other people. Nice person or not, what would come out of his mouth and in what way?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 That's because the word "chick" is not offensive in the least, and you are apparently the only sane woman posting in the entire thread. I think women have enough things to be legitimately concerned about without manufacturing completely imaginary reasons to be offended. That is true. Most of the time, I just walk in circles around my little 12x12 room with my eyes crossed and making meowing sounds. Once in awhile I manage to find my way to the computer they let me have to post.
FitChick Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 In this politically correct culture, too many people are looking for new ways to be offended. Get over it! 1
Author Jane2011 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 He also texted me a while ago and used "ur" for "your..." lol. I'm not crazy about that either. I know, I'm picky and critical. Some of this is simply that I've been ruined by other men. The men out there shouldn't be so offended that I'm a picky "biatch." All I'm saying, really, is that some of you are so awesome and appealing that you make others of you look bad.
Author Jane2011 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 In this politically correct culture, too many people are looking for new ways to be offended. Get over it! How many times does it have to be said that it's not a matter of being "offended"? I'm not offended in the least. I just look down on the guy. There is a difference.
anne1707 Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 AdamAnt, I think you're needed back in the '80's. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/242/519128207_9aa20287a7.jpg Prince Charming he ain't.
Author Jane2011 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 I mean, if I were offended by the guy, I wouldn't be talking to him. I've been texting him back for 30+ minutes now. (I think it's stopped now). He's not offensive. He just doesn't know better...
FitChick Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 How many times does it have to be said that it's not a matter of being "offended"? I wasn't addressing you. I've noticed in several threads on here that people are afraid to have opinions and look to others to see if they need to be offended by a word, like cougar, for example.
Author Jane2011 Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 I wasn't addressing you. I've noticed in several threads on here that people are afraid to have opinions and look to others to see if they need to be offended by a word, like cougar, for example. Okay. Sorry about that.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 He also texted me a while ago and used "ur" for "your..." Oh I hate that. Is it really that hard to type two additional letters. I also hate when women same "preggers". Goodness, just say "pregnant". It's the same amount of syllables.
florence of suburbia Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 If it were used tongue-in-chick I wouldn't mind it so much.
johan Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 If it were used tongue-in-chick I wouldn't mind it so much. That's because you're a pretty cool broad.
florence of suburbia Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 That's because you're a pretty cool broad. Thanks dude.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 How many times does it have to be said that it's not a matter of being "offended"? I'm not offended in the least. I just look down on the guy. There is a difference. If you're not offended in the least then why would you make a thread like this?
Author Jane2011 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) If you're not offended in the least then why would you make a thread like this? You can assume I'm offended simply because I went so far to ask what others think about it (Mind you, I've asked all kinds of questions on this board just to make conversation and get a sense of what people think about things -- something that I'm experiencing but don't necessarily feel strongly about), but you'd be wrong. I'm not offended because I don't think the guy was trying to be disrespectful toward me or to women in general. I just can't help but compare him to men who use more polite language than he does (and possibly - probably? - have better social skills). Furthermore, I don't talk to guys who offend me. You just have to take my word for that. It's not so unbelievable a claim on my part to say that I don't talk to men who offend me. So, if I am still talking to the guy, is that not enough proof that he hasn't offended me? Guess not... Edited February 26, 2012 by Jane2011
Author Jane2011 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 And, I'm sure you know as well as anyone, that once a thread gets started, (even if the initial question or situation didn't matter all THAT much to you), you can get caught up in the discussion itself and the varying points of view. There's no correlation (necessarily) between a thread's existence and a person's replies in it to how much it matters to them, how much weight they're putting on it, or the level of 'offense' taken...
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 So, if I am still talking to the guy, is that not enough proof that he hasn't offended me? Guess not... Disagree entirely. There are many, many women who like have conversations with men that offend them. That's why jerks ger so many women. Because they push the right buttons that get them offended and interested in the guy. Since you're interested in this guy, why don't you set up a date with him already?
Author Jane2011 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) Disagree entirely. There are many, many women who like have conversations with men that offend them. That's why jerks ger so many women. Because they push the right buttons that get them offended and interested in the guy. I wasn't talking about other women, though. I said *I* don't talk to men who offend me. Especially not new ones from OLD sites who I haven't met in person yet, who I have no feelings for, who I could dispose of easily rather than put up with. Sure, if it were someone I had something established with or had some history with, I wouldn't bolt the moment he said something offensive to me. He might have some hold over me where I would put up with more from him because of our history. Or I would want to work things out because I've already developed feelings. But a new guy who I barely know and for whom I haven't yet developed even an iota of feelings, I would bolt the moment I found him offensive. He's new to me, and I haven't bolted; ergo, he hasn't offended me. Since you're interested in this guy, why don't you set up a date with him already? It's sort of in the works. I'm not crazy excited to meet him, however. But like I said, it's not out of being offended. I just have a general desire for a different type of guy than one who says "chicks this" and "chicks that"... Also, I've pretty much lost interest in him. The only reason I would or will meet him at this point is that we've already sorta halfway started (he's asked to meet in person and suggested a time), and I don't want to not give him a chance at all. But if he were to suddenly let it go and not contact me again in any way, I'd be happy with that. Edited February 26, 2012 by Jane2011
Star Gazer Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 I've never met anyone who regularly says "chicks" who is also an awesome, interesting, hot guy. Your experience may differ. Me either... Hi.
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