Phanpooh Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 (edited) This is my first thread on LS, and i just want to share my story, and i really need your help to be better... It's a LDR ( 2cities -> 2 countries) + LTR ( almost 2years) + AMWF (i'm asian) Also, she is 24 now and i'm 23. i'm living in her country, working 12h per day here, my life is almost boring ^^ i don't have many friends, don't have much money, just enough for my life and i'm trying to get better life. last 6months ago, she came to my country to learn about language + cultural for 9months she is smart, nice looking and cute. studying isn't hard for her, and also she is working, earning enough money for her life there. sometime she is a model on tv show... after 3months, she said she want to "have fun", then go out with her friends almost everyday, that okay ^^ i know how much stress is alone in other country... 1month later, she met a guy ( i knew this guy), they were " just friends", then she left her group and spend most time with him and his friends. This guy is a free photographer, a college student, fantastic artist... at the end of Nov, i have problem with my job ( demotion cause i didn't learn new skill in 1 year, and sth else, include my ex), family ( i was alone in 10y and then come to my family at here, that hard to be adapted, my family also don't like white wife so they don't want i commit but that doesn't matter), money ( spend for my secret plan to surprise her at Dec, but then i had problem with my visa and wasted almost money for that, then for ticket and threw it cause BU ....) so then i fell down during depression time... while she is seeing other, i had to break up with her before her first date with him... i can't handle my emotion, i don't want to hold her for my selfish, i know she is not happy with me, and she also told me:" hard to love you"... "not in love",... then 4weeks i was swimming in limo, can't control my action, or emotion... and i don't want she feeling guilty so i pushed her away, force she choice between me or him, and that wasn't me ^^ that " leave me alone" or "i dun think i might love you in future" tell me that i cant be friendly with her and i hav to put myself in NC to healing... Now after 2months NC, everything is better. i took my job back and try to be promoted at next year, learning new skill, but everynight, i can't sleep, sometime laugh like crazy or cry for nothing... ( a better thing is that i didn't hurt myself anymore ) i know that she is now happy with that guy, they may living together, enjoy their lifetime... the hardest thing is almost her friends don't like me, some stranger just send me news info about her, that hurt like hell every single time (_ _") i almost know about wonderful things she did with him and will going to do... so i ignored her friends, our mutual friends ( just like she hav done with me) and try to refocus to myself. This is not my first time in my worst, seriously! i had a bad childhood, and i know what i see, what i hav, i know how to be happy with almost a little bit thing in my life, i know when i need to hold other's hand, when i have to let them go, to find themself, to grow up and enjoy their life. i dun think that i'm lucky enough to have second-chance in future, i can see how much guilty she hav had and how much she and her friends, don't like me. after all, i thought i just a gambler, i put all in her then i lost everything, now time to re focus and build up. but i think i'm happy when she is "really" happy, i hope someday, i could meet her again and hear about her successful life. PS:that is my short-cut story about my BU, and cause i can't stand anymore, so i really need your helps, some real-love story, some advise, i just want to light up my trust for "Love" again. Edited February 24, 2012 by Phanpooh
pie2 Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 I'm so sorry for your pain...it'll get better, just take one day at a time. I'm glad things are looking better with your job. Have you thought about counseling? Is that available where you are? Hurting yourself is not a typical response to a break up, and I think you should maybe find some professional help.
Author Phanpooh Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 Thank you for comment ^^ i think out there, somebody got more worse pain than me, because at my case, everything is going better, not good enough but it will be. and i hope every brokenheart here, best wish for you... if i hav any update, i will post here ^^
Author Phanpooh Posted February 27, 2012 Author Posted February 27, 2012 Today, it's a happy day ^^ i found out that my ex is happy living with her boyfriend, and i'm not jealous anymore , i'm truly happy for her, now is time to share my story with good ending 28 nov 2012: the end of a relationship, we broke up cause i can see that she don't love me anymore, she had a crush there, i was so angry, jealous but i know, i have to let her go, to find herself, to find her "the one"... that was a hardest time in my life, everything is suck, i'm a mistake, just like the time i was born.... Dec 2012: because i want she is free for 100%, i push her away, threw my ego, my "nice guy" to trash and then, she quickly moved on, nobody can stand with my evil mind.... 9 Jan 2012: she show the world her love with him, i give her last thing i can, a little money for their country trip... 14 Jan 2012: For them, the most beautiful day, they r so happy.... yeah! For me, i'm ready to NC and RIP all things, to get over, and move on 27 Feb 2012: they r now living together, and i don't know why? i'm happy for them, no more hurt, no more pain, no more depressed,... i don't know what is love, and i don't believe in "the one", but i will find her, for me ^^ maybe i'm crazy or stupid? After 3months break-up, everyday there is someone always tell me info of them, yup, they r famous, happy,.... and may someone here, tell me, what is wrong with me? i putted everything in a relationship, i was in my worst place of my life, but then i'm back in my life and now i'm really happy for them... i'm confuse again, that is human psychology? in my head, i know i can't get over her that easily but why? my heart recover that quickly? an old question, can someone tell me, what is love? every love story around me is just bad romantic, and how about you guys? any good ending story? any good or bad ? or just thinking make it so? PS: seriously, i don't know what is wrong with my topic, i wanted to put it in BU theard then, i feel like it's a coping section
Author Phanpooh Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 Today, i'm in good mod, and i hav a question... everyone told me that, nobody care you want her back or not, the first thing you need to do is "move on" but then i hav a second question and they answer me that nobody know.... when we r truly move on, why we need our ex back? seriously, i believe that, they always contact you back, even that is cold-NC or LC.... why? let me tell you when i was a dumper, i really believe that i don't need to contact with dumpees, but seriously, when they moved on, all pain suddenly hitted on me... but then i tried to move on, and then they want me back but there wasn't a second-chance for that ex.... so why they want you back? Life is too short, if there was a mistake, why we always want to make it again? immature or mature? what is diffence? "Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it."....
Recommended Posts