What do you do when the person you love, no longer loves you?

[ThatDudeXO]

So here I am, deeply in love with my ex who dumped me 2 months ago.

 

I broke NC of 2 weeks today to congratulate her for finishing the exams and we had a nice conversation until I said I missed her, suddenly she went sour. For the first time I asked if she loved me, she said no. She isn't attracted to me any more because of the pathetic crying I did after she dumped me.

 

At first I cried and apologised for everything until I realised I don't deserve this hurt. I told her she will never do better than me (as all my friends say, she isn't very attractive but she had a great personality which she seems to have lost.) I also said she will regret ever missing out on someone as amazing as I am.

 

I told her if she hurts me or disrespects me again I will send these x-rated pictures to her friends and family because I refused to be hurt by her again. While deleting our pictures I realised how amazing she used to be before her studies.

 

She said she wanted to be friends and talk but I said we can't be friends because the pain is too much for me. I asked her if it would hurt her to see me with someone else, she said yes.

 

--

 

 

What would do if the person you love with all of your heart just suddenly stops loving you and wanting you in their lives? How would you make yourself feel better, accept it and move on?

[ThatDudeXO]

 

I told her if she hurts me or disrespects me again I will send these x-rated pictures to her friends and family because I refused to be hurt by her again. QUOTE]

 

I suspect you are a troll typing away in your underwear.

 

If not, the best thing she ever did was dump you as you are a lower life form than pond scum.

 

I deleted those pictures at her request but I haven't told her, I just said it so she stops hurting me. Albeit it was something I shouldn't have said but sometimes I can't control what I'm saying when I'm crying.

Edited February 24, 2012 by ThatDudeXO

[jus d'orange]

What would do if the person you love with all of your heart just suddenly stops loving you and wanting you in their lives? How would you make yourself feel better, accept it and move on?

I told her if she hurts me or disrespects me again I will send these x-rated pictures to her friends and family because I refused to be hurt by her again.

 

This is essentially what most break-ups are like (person you love stops wanting you in their life). You need to move on as well, because the relationship no longer has anything to offer you in its current state. You have to be strong as an individual. Part of that involves self-respect and knowing how to handle your emotions. Someday you will regret making these (albeit empty) threats against her. They are very unbecoming, and show that you are willing to hurt others in a very serious way, despite the fact that it does you no good.

 

You need to spend some time asking yourself who you want to be. Does being vindictive and threatening show any sort of healthy love on your part? Make a list of the qualities you would like to possess. Plan out how you want your individual life to go. Then, go about becoming the strong, self-respecting person you want to be. You need to do this without her.

 

You need to go to zero contact with her, because continued contact will hurt both of you and your paths to healing. Someday, when you have moved on from this and have made a considerable amount of personal growth, you could once again be a part of a loving relationship (which could be with her, but would most likely not be). Continuing to be in any relationship with a vindictive attitude, however, will only hurt you and anyone you love.

 

You've got a long road ahead of you, but the only way to make it to where you want to go is start the journey. Best of luck.

[Mack05]

So here I am, deeply in love with my ex who dumped me 2 months ago.

 

I told her if she hurts me or disrespects me again I will send these x-rated pictures to her friends and family because I refused to be hurt by her again. While deleting our pictures I realised how amazing she used to be before her studies.

 

Mate she is better off without you. You say you are deeply in love with her, yet you would use private pictures she gave you, as a tool to use against her! So just because she hurt you, that gives you the right to stoop that low!?You need to take a long look at yourself. If you respect this girl then honor her memory and delete those pictures!

 

We all have been hurt. We all have anger. The genuinely good people in life raise above it. They forgive their ex's and they move on with their lives. They focus on the mistakes they made in the relationship and vow never to make those mistakes again. The lessons we learn in relationships give us the tools, to be great partners in future.

 

Your ex made a decision to leave the relationship. If you love her as deeply as you say you do, set her free. Give her the chance to find happiness. More importantly give yourself a chance to find happiness. By behaving with class and leaving go of all the anger, it shows maturity and strength. Does it suck to leave go?. Yeah!Totally! But how you deal with this now, will determine what kind of man and partner you will be in future.

 

If you react with anger and you stoop so low, it shows just how immature and resentful a person you really are. Bitterness and resentfulness ends up destroying lives. It consumes people like poison. Be a man. Show maturity and class. Wish her well and life and work on improving yourself as a person, so that u never want to stoop that low again.

 

Instead of looking ways to hurt her. Look deep within yourself and truly learn from past mistakes. You will find out that in the long run, it is far more fullfilling..

Edited February 24, 2012 by Mack05

[Million.to.1]

I told her she will never do better than me (as all my friends say, she isn't very attractive but she had a great personality which she seems to have lost.) I also said she will regret ever missing out on someone as amazing as I am.

 

I told her if she hurts me or disrespects me again I will send these x-rated pictures to her friends and family because I refused to be hurt by her again. While deleting our pictures I realised how amazing she used to be before her studies.

 

What are you? 12 years old?

 

This isn't love. This is toxic behavior.

 

Move on.

[ThatDudeXO]

I feel so bad and guilty for saying that stiff about the pictures, it's not normally something I'd do or say. I deleted them straight away but still :/

[esteem-jam]

Check some quotes:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/256482-after-while-you-learn

 

You learn that when you are angry, You have the right to be angry, But this doesn't give you the right to be cruel.

 

Remember that quote about anger- it is like grabbing hot coal and throwing it at others, you get burned yourself. And trying to fix a broken relationship is like trying to fix a broken mirror- you cut your hands and achieve nothing.

 

You messaging her was secretly trying to fix you. Let go of this and your thoughts, you know what they do, just more hurt. You got to cut all contact now. I too get posioned by my thoughts, I know I cant engage with her in any way now. Gotta stay inside my temple, we dont want to hurt the ones we love, right? Right. You got to stop it at the roots, NC NC!

[Mack05]

That poem is the best thing I have read on this or any internet forum. Going to print it out and read it once a day. Awesome...

 

+ 1 That is pure class that poem

[ThatDudeXO]

You need to go to zero contact with her, because continued contact will hurt both of you and your paths to healing. Someday, when you have moved on from this and have made a considerable amount of personal growth, you could once again be a part of a loving relationship (which could be with her, but would most likely not be). Continuing to be in any relationship with a vindictive attitude, however, will only hurt you and anyone you love.

.

 

The reason I said those things was because I wanted her to hate me and I wanted to hate her as well to get rid of all hope in getting her back.

 

I just explained that to her and apologised for the empty threat and she said she understands it. She still wants me to be her bestfriend because she likes me but she's lost the love for me and attraction. She says she still loves me but only as a friend for now while she chases her career goals.

 

I'm focusing on my career goals now and talking to other girls but she's still eager to stay friends.

 

I know what I have to do to improve myself as a person, I want to stay as her friend but first I want to lose that part of me that wants her back. She no longer feels hurt when she talks to me, to her I'm just another friend even after 2 and half years of love.

 

Is NC the only way to go to lose the attachment to her? I've decided don't want her back any more but I still have this soft spot for her so I wouldn't want to lose her completely out of my life while she studies.

 

I guess I just want to lose the love/attachment for her the way she has for me because we were good friends before we actually started dating.

[jus d'orange]

I don't think it's ever a good plan to purposefully engender hate between yourself and other people. Please don't do that again.

 

I don't think there's a way to be friends or best friends with somebody immediately after a break up with them, or even for a long time. You need to simply move on.

[Frank13]

 

I deleted those pictures at her request but I haven't told her, I just said it so she stops hurting me. Albeit it was something I shouldn't have said but sometimes I can't control what I'm saying when I'm crying.

 

She isn't hurting you, you are hurting you by breaking NC.

[cincinnatikid]

I'm appalled I even read this. I'm glad this girl walked away from you. You don't deserve her and she definitely deserves better. What MAN in his right mind would use such a threat against someone they "cared about." More importantly, as a guy, I've never understood the reason to have X rated photos or videos with my significant other. I find it frankly degrading and deep down, it makes a woman feel lesser of herself.

 

I hope you move on fast frankly, more for this girls sake than yours. If I were her and I saw you, I would run in the opposite direction.

 

I hope your feeling of guilt for using such a threat is genuine. Now, do her a favor and leave her the F alone. As much as I miss my ex from time to time and have had foolish notions of figuring out deceptive ways to perhaps woo her back, I know that they are just that and I keep them to myself and know that I would never, EVER, act on any of them because it is simply my ego expressing itself in a non positive manner. As a guy, it makes me sick to my stomach that there are other men out there who give us dudes a bad name because of this ****.

 

Sorry for the rant.

[Saint Santo]

this is the perfect opportunity for you to move on. I am sure she still loves you in some ways, but she no longer views you with dignity. you have nothing to gain by continuing to talk with her. however, you can get your dignity back if you stop kissing her rear-end and make serious progress in your own life.

 

I think a much harder situation is when an ex still loves you and tells you this, but doesn't want to get back together. in your case, if she truly doesn't love you like that, she doesn't deserve to. become the person you want to be in your next relationship and learn from this.