lovelylashes Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 To anyone thinking about breaking nc or feels tempted please read this an i hope it deters you. ive been so strong the last few days, even looking forward to a future without the ex. This morning felt tempted to communicate, i ignored it but the feeling wouldnt go away. it eventually took over and i text. first time i got a response. second time i got ignored. Now i feel ashamed of myself and just want to crawl under a rock. So anyone thinking of breaking nc please dont its painful.
Philosoraptor Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Don't hate yourself. Take it as a painful lesson and vow not to let it happen again.
Author lovelylashes Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 Don't hate yourself. Take it as a painful lesson and vow not to let it happen again. A very painful lesson. Im considering giving up all forms of communication i.e. phone, internet for a month an see how that goes. I feel awful right now
bluewolf17 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Sorry LL, I feel for you. Just use it as a weapon for maintaining NC, and sticking to it.
Author lovelylashes Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 Sorry LL, I feel for you. Just use it as a weapon for maintaining NC, and sticking to it. thanks . NC has to be the only option from now on. I hate feeling this awful.
bluewolf17 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 I'm right there with you. It's hard to not check the phone/facebook/emails thinking there might be something there..and when you check and you see there is still not..it's like little tears in your heart. This morning I said to myself "aren't you tired of hurting?" of course I am. You are too. It's just day by day I suppose. What helps too, is I often find my thought wandering to him. All the wouldacouldashoulda's. So when I catch myself doing that now, I mentally envision a medal door slamming down on that "door" to the memory/fantasy. It's very Fight clubbish, but I imagine my spirit animal/soul (for me a wolf) trying to get into all these different doors to different memories/fantasies. If it's a positive one, like picturing me graduation from school, I let him go through it and think about how happy I will be. When my little Bluewolf starts snooping into doors about my ex and his girlfriend, I mentally SLAM that door down. That probabbly sounds crazy but it helps to redirect my thoughts. Feel free to pm me to talk to or anything you need. Bluewolf. 1
Author lovelylashes Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 I'm right there with you. It's hard to not check the phone/facebook/emails thinking there might be something there..and when you check and you see there is still not..it's like little tears in your heart. This morning I said to myself "aren't you tired of hurting?" of course I am. You are too. It's just day by day I suppose. What helps too, is I often find my thought wandering to him. All the wouldacouldashoulda's. So when I catch myself doing that now, I mentally envision a medal door slamming down on that "door" to the memory/fantasy. It's very Fight clubbish, but I imagine my spirit animal/soul (for me a wolf) trying to get into all these different doors to different memories/fantasies. If it's a positive one, like picturing me graduation from school, I let him go through it and think about how happy I will be. When my little Bluewolf starts snooping into doors about my ex and his girlfriend, I mentally SLAM that door down. That probabbly sounds crazy but it helps to redirect my thoughts. Feel free to pm me to talk to or anything you need. Bluewolf. Thanks bluewolf No it doesnt sound crazy whateve helps you get through the hard times id say go for it. And i have had enough of feeling that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach waiting for my phone to ring. The worst of it all though is i know this person is bad for me, he is a compulsive lying, selfish, man who i couldnt imagine settling down with because he is the way he is. I just cant seem to let go, i know that makes no sense. Thanks again bluewolf
stitch702 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Take it as a lesson learned. Don't worry MANY of us including me have broke N/C several time before we finally just said eff it I'm moving on
Author lovelylashes Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 Take it as a lesson learned. Don't worry MANY of us including me have broke N/C several time before we finally just said eff it I'm moving on thanks. its just so frustrating because i was doing so well. It does help to know people have made the same mistakes. Thanks to everyone for your replies.
sweetheart5381 Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Take it as a lesson learned. Don't worry MANY of us including me have broke N/C several time before we finally just said eff it I'm moving on Yep, just did it this weekend - it was painful and yet a turning point too. If the person you love can be mean, cold, callous toward you when they were/professed to be loving and caring, then either: a) They are liars, they didnt really love you and put on a show in the beginning to suck you in for their ego b) They suck, not worth your time, they are liars and didnt love you, just put on a show in the beginning to suck you in for their ego Either option is fruitless. I firmly believe that when someone bares their sole and reaches out to contact a loved one after they have already been rejected that they are very courageous, took the high road. "Eff it, I'm moving on" is the best response to this situation
Itsonlyme66 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Mine doesn't seem to care or miss me. He dumped me repeatedly over 6 years. Seems each time I moved on, he would pop back into my life with a text or something. (It was effective, because I NEVER really moved on.) This time, it's different. He actually said to me, "I don't love you. I don't. I'd like to leave." I took a complete nutty. Lost it on him. Acted crazier than crazed. He cites this (among other things) as the reason he will never come back and wished me good luck. So days go by and it's quiet here. I try not to think about him, but it's futile. So I decided to let myself feel my feelings. Agonize, obsess (a little) and then go on and concentrate on an activity or ANYTHING else. My story will be posted. It is unlike any other I have read on here because he left me 14x. I figure he's bipolar...and I am 99% sure he is a narcissist. I suffered mental, verbal, emotional and 1x physical abuse in 6 years with him, but his words and expressions hurt the most. Mocking, silent treatments, total D&D behavior when i never fell out of love with him (or trauma bonding).... Long story short, I want to contact so badly but for what? His words rung home. You don't love me? OK. I'm gone. It's the heart catching up to the brain thing that is the tough part.
TheJiltedGeneration Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 thanks . NC has to be the only option from now on. I hate feeling this awful. d/w it happens to the best of us love, even now when I get a text or some one rings I jump at the fact that it could be my ex wanting to reconcile like its a knee jerk reaction, just be gratefull you didnt do anything beyond that, which could have really knocked your esteem down..
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