futureBe Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 I met this guy recently and we have already been out for 3 dates. The dates have been going pretty good and we have a lot of fun together and we are set to meet again this Saturday. We are both in our early 30s. My problem is that between dates it is almost total silence between us, he text me to set up dates and make plan, beside that no other communication in between. I am not talking about texting or being on the phone all day but maybe an "how r u" text. The dates have been about once a week, so that go to up to 5 days between dates with no communication. This bug me a little bit, but I am not sure how to handle this, is it too early to say something? What is the best way to talk about it without sounding to needy or scare him off? should I just wait and see how things go? Please advice...I just want to communicate better, because communication is pretty important to me and I would love to get things started on the right path. Thanks everyone
neowulf Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Well.. it has only been 3 dates. It's not exactly a relationship yet. If he's still making dates with you.. things should slowly progress to a more regular schedule naturally as time moves on. He's probably doing his best to give you room to breath and no seem "needy". If it really bothers you, try texting him a brief message every couple of days to strike up a conversation. If he blows you off.. then maybe you can start to ask questions about communication. It's also possible he's going out on other dates. Until you've had the "we're exclusive" talk, you're not really in a position to expect much from him.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Have you tried to initiate communication in between? If so, does he just ignore it? If that's the case it's not looking good. Otherwise maybe he just doesn't want to spoil a budding relationship with constant texting/phone calls/etc...all that can get to be a bit much. However, I agree it is weird to not hear from him at ALL between dates. I have heard from my boyfriend in some way, shape, or form literally every single day since our first date. He pursued me hard and made his interest known and I found that very attractive. I guess you might have to lead by example. Start by texting something small, like "the funniest thing just happened at work that I had to tell you about!" Casual stuff, not heavy, "let's talk about our feelings" type stuff. I think some light conversation between dates, even early on, is totally normal to expect. If you haven't been communicating either then maybe he's worried you're not interested and doesn't want to seem desperate by calling/texting you. Not all guys have the confidence to pursue the woman they're interested in - they're too nervous about coming off as "desperate" or "clingy." Send him a text. See what happens.
SJC2008 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Small world, the women I'm dating has yet to contact me 1st. I look at it (after some advice here) that we have had 3 dates so far and she may be conservative and am banking on the fact that I would not have gotten to date 3 without her being interested. It's still early on so things are in the "playing it safe" time frame so I wouldn't worry. A quick "Hey!" or a "what's your week been like" won't come across as needy IMO.
Arkaeology Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 This is just n=1 but for the most part, I think guys are just not phone talkers. How is he when you're together on a date? Does he initiate the conversation? Keeps you on your toes? Does he make you feel comfortable in his presence? If he does all that and more, then there's a possibility that he's normal. Besides, you're not a couple or exclusive right? He might be seeing other women too.
veggirl Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 I wouldn't like that. Seems like it'd be really difficult to build a connection with so little talk-time. I would try to initiate something, see how he reacts. Otherwise I'd chalk it up to incompatibility in this area. I guess at the end of the day, I want a guy to WANT to talk to me more than just once a week or whatever.
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