Alex DeLarge Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Okay, went out with this girl for the first time about a month ago. She's 22 and we met at school. At first, I went out with her thinking "She was cool in class so I'd like to be friends with this girl". Especially since I need to widen my friend network out here. I wasn't really into her sexually when we had class together, but she seemed really cool. We got a few drinks and went to talking, then we went back to her place (She suggested it.) I wound up kissing her, we made out and did just about everything except have sex (I'm a virgin and didn't think it was a good idea to have sex without letting her know, but did not want to bring down the night by saying "no" so I didn't escalate to that point.) We slept together in bed and I left the next day. After this we hungout a lot more, eventually had sex (I told her I was a virgin and she was cool about it), and kept seeing each other. Then she told me this line.. "Hey I just want to be upfront, I don't want anything serious right now" It made sense, cause her ex is still in her life and still incredibly emotional about their breakup, but I said to her "That's cool, me either".. But the thing is, I never really "look" for anything serious, I just take it one day at a time and see where things go. We kept seeing eachother, having sex, and sleeping over each other's places.. But she labeled it a "FWB" situation. Then one night about last week, she said "What do you want?" as we layed next to each other. I had no idea what this meant (I was kind of drunk too) and I guess I got her angry? I told her I liked things the way they were. We had sex the next morning and she just left right away. She sent me some angry texts about how she feels like I'm "using" her but it's totally not like that. I actually grew feelings for this girl. I talked to her about it and she calmed down. Then I told her "Maybe we should just be friends" since I figured she was about to call things off and I really wanted to stay friends with her. I'm just confused right now, I feel like if the ex of hers was out of the picture, things would be just fine. Or maybe she was just using me for sex? I have no idea.. She'd compliment me, call me handsome, buy me drinks, even took me out to dinner once! I thought she was awesome. I wanted to do the same for her, but I'm just super broke and don't make a lot of money at my job (most goes toward rent). I'm a pretty cool guy too! Lots of awesome friends, I play music, and am very sociable. I think I should just let it go and move on at this point, but I just wish things worked out at the same time. I never connected (no pun intended) with a girl so well before. Maybe I was clingy and she got freaked out? I have no clue. I never had a girlfriend before and just started the whole dating thing about a year ago so I'm still a bit clueless. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
Pasttense Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 To me it sounds like she changed her mind about not wanting anything serious--and now does.
plowguy1 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 My advice, if you want to get rid of her, tell her you want more. If you want the fwb thing to keep happening, tell her you don't. she'll crave what she can't have (much like her ex boyfriend who is stroking her ego) It probably goes against what you were taught, but sadly it's true. The sooner you find out the better
Emilia Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 My advice, if you want to get rid of her, tell her you want more. If you want the fwb thing to keep happening, tell her you don't. she'll crave what she can't have (much like her ex boyfriend who is stroking her ego) It probably goes against what you were taught, but sadly it's true. The sooner you find out the better Don't listen to this advice, playing games doesn't get you relationships. If you want more, tell her. It sounds to me that she wants more, hence her getting upset with you. I hope the two of you can have a proper conversation about this without getting really defensive and saying something you don't mean. 2
monkey00 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Don't listen to this advice, playing games doesn't get you relationships. If you want more, tell her. It sounds to me that she wants more, hence her getting upset with you. I hope the two of you can have a proper conversation about this without getting really defensive and saying something you don't mean. I agree, if she does want the same she'll come around. She may not realize it immediately, it may even take weeks or months to sort out her feelings...but when she does she will tell you. If not, then it was a good FWB for you anyway.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 My advice, if you want to get rid of her, tell her you want more. If you want the fwb thing to keep happening, tell her you don't. she'll crave what she can't have (much like her ex boyfriend who is stroking her ego) It probably goes against what you were taught, but sadly it's true. The sooner you find out the better This. So true. That and you need to not care.
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