Ask her out? Or try to get to know her more?

[bertree]

I am 23 and I met a girl in september who is also 23, she is going to school in my city this year. We are both from the same place originally, but hadn't met until this year - even though she knows most of the people I do and vice versa. She was dating someone I am friends with (not close) but they broke up somewhere during the summer.

 

I didn't talk to her much until one night after the bar in early Jan, we had a drunk conversation where I don't remember much of what was said, but I definitely remember her saying something about wanting to hang out. She started to like some of my facebook statuses, etc.

 

A few weeks later she came to a party I was at (lots of mutual friends) and we talked a bit. A few days later she saw me walking and said hi from her car, so I went over and she told me she was going to a concert and that I "should go". I went with some friends and as soon as she saw me she said hi and hugged me. We didnt get into the concert and everyone sort of split up so we didnt see each other that night.

 

I started to send her some messages on facebook, had a little conversation going, and then asked her to come party with us. She didnt reply, nor show up. I shook it off. Week and a half later she unexpectedly shows up with some mutual friends to another of our parties, we talked a bit and things went well (fri night). Sunday night I ask her to meet me for coffee or breakfast before we goto school, but she had to leave early so couldn't make it. That weekend I asked her to come over to another party and she didn't reply until a mutual friend asked her and she said she might. She didnt show up but I ran into her with some of her friends after the bars and we had yet another drunk conversation.

 

Sorry if that rambled on a bit but now you know the extent of our "relationship". I don't know what to do in this spot. I feel like I've already let her know that I am willing to "hang out" as she alluded to in one of our first conversations, as I've asked her to hang out multiple times. She is really confusing me. If she was really not interested in me I'd think she would at least reply to my messages and politely say "no" in some way? What does a it mean if she seemingly ignores me but thats also coupled with seeming happy etc when we do see each other? I mean, we have so many mutual friends that its not like she can just ignore me - no matter what its 100% we will see each other somewhat frequently from now on. I have also learned that she is in contact with another dude (the specifics of thier relationship I am not sure, but he is certainly better looking than I am).

 

I feel like the ball is in her court, and now that she knows Im open to hang out / whatever, then I should just sit back and hope she comes to me in some way, and then I can take it from there if she does. I feel like asking her out directly at this point is not really an option. Any input?

 

Confused.

 

Thanks

[fortyninethousand322]

Ask her out. If she says no at least you know where you stand. One thing you need to know, women don't want and don't need the ball to be in their court.

[Eddie Edirol]

You already asked her to hang out 3 times and she blew you off. When she doesnt reply, she is hoping you get the hint that shes not interested.

 

BTW, next time, dont wait to message her on fb. You get her number at the party, and CALL her. When you do it on facebook, you look like a wimp and its a turnoff for her. In her case, it doesnt matter because she wasnt interested anyway.

[bertree]

You are probably right - I think I'm just in denial or something. Because why initiate contact like that, asking to hang out etc? Why hug? Why continue to seem interested in every way except replying? I dont get it.

[timchambo]

Sounds like she was interested but you just waited to long to make a move, and now she is interested in a new guy. Just learn from it and move on. I have known girls that just need to know you desire them, then they move onto their next target.