startinganew777 Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Met a guy online, we talked for about 2 weeks and some days he would seem really interested, other days not. I didn't hear from him for a couple days so emailed him and said something along the lines of that I was confused, couldn't figure him out and didn't want to bother him or waste his time. He called me up immediatly and said he thought he blew it wth me because I never called or texted him. So we started talking again. Finally met him this last weekend and we had a blast. Seemed to really connect and the compliments to me were flowing. Sunday night he texts me a pic of us and said something about how I am so beautiful and said he had the greatest time with me. The next day he texts that he wrote a song about me and then calls me that night and we talk for a long time. I text him yesterday about hanging out this coming weekend and he says sure he will call me later. Never called, and haven't heard from him since. He is so back and forth. I see him on that online dating site all the time. I don't want to bring up how I am confused again but I can't figure out if he is maybe talking to someone else or isn't really that interested or what. And I am not one to want to bother someone or texts them constantly. But he stopped talking to me last time because he thought I wasn't interested. Like I said, I am coming out of a divorce and haven't dated in so long. I don't want to seem needy but I don't want to waste my time either. We are supposed to do something this weekend but I guess I will just wait to hear from him, If I do. Dating is so confusing! Does he seem interested or just has me hanging on until something better comes along?
TheFinalWord Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Met a guy online, we talked for about 2 weeks and some days he would seem really interested, other days not. I didn't hear from him for a couple days so emailed him and said something along the lines of that I was confused, couldn't figure him out and didn't want to bother him or waste his time. He called me up immediatly and said he thought he blew it wth me because I never called or texted him. So we started talking again. Finally met him this last weekend and we had a blast. Seemed to really connect and the compliments to me were flowing. Sunday night he texts me a pic of us and said something about how I am so beautiful and said he had the greatest time with me. The next day he texts that he wrote a song about me and then calls me that night and we talk for a long time. I text him yesterday about hanging out this coming weekend and he says sure he will call me later. Never called, and haven't heard from him since. He is so back and forth. I see him on that online dating site all the time. I don't want to bring up how I am confused again but I can't figure out if he is maybe talking to someone else or isn't really that interested or what. And I am not one to want to bother someone or texts them constantly. But he stopped talking to me last time because he thought I wasn't interested. Like I said, I am coming out of a divorce and haven't dated in so long. I don't want to seem needy but I don't want to waste my time either. We are supposed to do something this weekend but I guess I will just wait to hear from him, If I do. Dating is so confusing! Does he seem interested or just has me hanging on until something better comes along? Hi there, Yes dating is very confusing! LOL I don't know exactly what is going through his mind. All we can do is speculate. And as humans, when our ego is on the line, we tend to assume the worst. This guy hasn't called and you're already extrapolating that out into he is just waiting for someone better. Please don't do that. He said he will call. So he knows it is his responsibility to call you. I would just leave it at that He may be someone who likes to take things slow. As a guy, I have also learned that it takes time to gauge someone you are just meeting. He may not want to communicate with you every day just yet, until you're in a formal relationship. But who knows, try not to speculate. Just let the chips fall where they may. This is just a guy you met online and went out with once. You said you wanted to go out again. He knows you're interested. Let him take the lead now. I think the real test is if you go out this weekend. I do know that as a man, if he is interested in taking you out, and you have given him the green light, he will contact you I wouldn't keep texting him anymore. Actually as a general rule I never recommend getting into texting dialogues with someone you've only had a few dates with. And never text about something that even has .001% chance of being misinterpreted. 1
Author startinganew777 Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 Thanks for your response. I haven't texted him or anything and he called last night and we talked for almost an hour. I guess he is just real busy and likes to take things slow. I just really like him and didn't want to screw things up by texting him or bothering him. He told me he has told all his friends about me and that he feels so comfortable talking to me so I guess he does like me. I was freaking out over nothing! LOL We didn't talk about this weekend but he said he would call me today so we will see. I am just new to all of this so don't know what to expect. I haven't dated in over 10 years! Excited, nervous and confused at the same time.
veggirl Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Forget him. Or if you must insist on continuing to see this jackas.s, PLEASE don't sleep with him for a long, long time. He takes things slowly?! lmao, that's why he wrote you a song (I bet he "writes" the same song for every date he has!) and showered you with compliments? But then goes MIA? He is a PLAYER.
Author startinganew777 Posted February 24, 2012 Author Posted February 24, 2012 Wow. He was MIA for like a day. Doesn't make him a player. And he didn't say he likes to take things slow. I am just assuming that. I work all day and he works nights so it is hard to talk. He is probably one of the nicest men I have ever met actually. Just didn't know if he was into me.
veggirl Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Well after one date, it shouldn't be "is he into me?" it should be "am I into him?" Fine maybe you're right, he is uber nice, except...you said he never called and you haven't heard from him since. Sorry but honestly it's true, if someone likes you, you'll KNOW it.
Author startinganew777 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Well we hung out all weekend and he even gave me a key to his place on Friday to come over saturday night and hang out there before he got home from work. Then he told me I could just keep the key and I was more than welcome to come over whenever. I didn't even ask for it. So if that isn't a sign he likes me, I don't know what is. LOL Guess I was just being insecure.
InJest Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) He gave you a key after what, 3 weeks?!?! And you accepted it?!?!?!? You're both nuts, but that could be the foundation for a beautiful relationship. Edited February 28, 2012 by InJest 2
FitChick Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 In general, as difficult as it can be sometimes, especially if you like a guy, you just have to sit on your hands and let him initiate contact at least until you have established a dating relationship. Sounds good for you so far, though.
veggirl Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Yikes. A key that quickly? Huge red flag. This seems very hot / cold to me. Either amped up to 100 or hovering around 0. A song, a key, flowing compliments. Don't be surprised if he is gone in a month, just saying. I'd be careful if I was you. And I'd give the key back.
Author startinganew777 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Ok, I was confused and just asking people's opinions and then I get called nuts? Man, there are a lot of bitter people on this site. Nevermind. I won't be posting on here anymore. Thanks
NoMagicBullet Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I'm with veggirl. Giving you a key already? Letting you keep it? Big red flag indeed! This guy is hoping for sex -- or more of it, if you've already slept together, but I'd think the former at this stage. Make no mistake, players will be sweet, nice, charming, and full of compliments for you until they get what they want, which is often sex, but could also be attention and an ego boost without sex (though preferably with sex). After they get that, they won't necessarily be rude or cut off contact -- especially not if they see you as a potential steady hook-up -- but they'll disappear unless and until it's convenient for them to come back to you for affection and/or gratification. I can't be certain that this guy is a player, but giving you a key not appropriate at this stage. If he's not a player, then I'd be even more concerned about his ability to set appropriate boundaries. Don't forget, things are still in the early stages with this guy. He's still online dating. For that matter, you probably should be, too. Don't get too hung upon this particular guy at this stage.
veggirl Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Ok, I was confused and just asking people's opinions and then I get called nuts? Man, there are a lot of bitter people on this site. Nevermind. I won't be posting on here anymore. Thanks Hey one person called you nuts. I think you are jumping in WAY too fast, absolutely! But I don't think you are "nuts". Naive about this...yes. I just think this will fizzle fast, based on how quickly things have transpired. Hey, I hope I'm wrong and I hope everything works out.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Well it's nuts of him to give you his keys. It's weird, he's moving way too fast, and he's charming the pants off of you while still being active on the dating site? Something sounds off. Be wary of people who are too willing to please, they are usually after something. 1
Author startinganew777 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 I am not nuts, confused and new at this yes. We had a talk last night. I asked him what we were and he said it has been on his mind a lot too. I told him I was scared to be rushing into this and didn't want to get hurt. He was glad I brought it up and said he has been talking to his friends and they told him that if he really liked me that he needed to just go with the flow and take things easy. He said he just likes me so much and that I am the coolest girl he has ever met and does not want to screw it up. He was engaged last year and broke it off and hasn't dated anyone for a while also. So I am glad we talked. He said he feels very comfortable with me and that communication is very important. He also mentioned talking to his friends about taking down his profile and said there was no point in leaving it up. He brought that all up on his own. So I think we are both on the same page now. I guess we will see what happens. Do I think he is a player, no? Inexperienced, yes. He is a good guy and VERY religious and I just think he hasn't been in a lot of relationships. Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions.
Author startinganew777 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 We met on a dating website but it turns out I am friends with a girl that went to high school with him and who talks to him all the time. She said he is anything but a player and a very sweet guy. I trust her.
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