Anela Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) I was only attracted to teenage boys when I was a teen myself. I really don't get it. I don't think they listed that one teacher who slept with the student that ended up shooting her husband. I'll have another look. I think her name was Pam, and a move featuring Nicole Kidman was based on her. *edit. Pamela Smart: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pamela_Smart Edited February 28, 2012 by Anela
snug.bunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 A pedophile has a sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children not teenagers. Goodness gracious... Oh, I'm sorry... The correct term, is "Hebephilia". I suppose I really don't care about the correct "definition", a 35 year-old man hitting on a 15-year girl sounds and looks the same to me.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Oh, I'm sorry... The correct term, is "Hebephilia". I suppose I really don't care about the correct "definition", a 35 year-old man hitting on a 15-year girl sounds and looks the same to me. Well, I'm a chlorophile (sexual attraction to plants) so I'm a big stickler for correct terminology.
snug.bunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Well, I'm a chlorophile (sexual attraction to plants) so I'm a big stickler for correct terminology. Great. As long as your cacti aren't minors, knock yourself out! 1
Nightsky Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Great. As long as your cacti aren't minors, knock yourself out! The statutory rape threads always seem to bring out the comedians.
snug.bunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 The statutory rape threads always seem to bring out the comedians. Eek!
Red Arremer Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 We still haven't gotten a straight answer about what exactly was going on. The OP keeps using the word "sexting," which has a very specific meaning (i.e., either suggestive/nude pictures or very explicit talk), but her boyfriend's story makes it sound like it wasn't nearly that bad. As eager as most people here are to pass judgment on the guy, I would still want to know a bit more about this before we start throwing around "p" words we can't take back.
ascendotum Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Oh, I'm sorry... The correct term, is "Hebephilia". I suppose I really don't care about the correct "definition", a 35 year-old man hitting on a 15-year girl sounds and looks the same to me. You should! Accusing someone of being a pedophile, is a very serious accusation these days. Child molesters are the 21st century's witches. Shooting your mouth off IRL over some guy over 18 who is flirting with your teenage daughter could easily get him killed by self appointed local vigilantes. Its happened. There's people in this thread who have suggested the girl's father should have murdered him, and they dont even know the exact details of what was described as 'innocent flirting' when drunk.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 What's the lesson here? Most women don't have much respect for grown men that flirt with young, still physically and mentally developing, girls on the verging and emerging cusp of womanhood. It's not hard to figure out why. And I think Kaylan is one cool guy in this thread for not taking the traditional male stance where most guys seem to want the 35 year old guy flirting with his ex gf's new boyfriend's young teen daughter a "chance". 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Dude, your super competitiveness theory does not make this guy seem more sympathetic, like you seem to think it does. A 35 year old man hits on and dirtytalks a kid because he's cranky with her daddy and that makes him an okay guy? WTF? I don't think anyone is saying what this guy did was Ok. I'm certainly not trying to make him seem more sympathetic. I'm just trying to suggest to OP that he may have a motive connected to his xGF. And okay, let's examine the other stuff said here. The OP says herself that the posters who responded to the other thread were mainly guys, but your response is that the women posters are all hypocrites with double standards. Then when a situation is laid out for you where a 15 year old kid is getting sexted by a 35 year old man, your response is that its her parents fault, so I guess that means it was her messing up and in the wrong, huh? The grown-ass man had nothing to do with it, blame the teenager and her whole family? Do you listen to yourself? OP, I never saw the other thread you're talking about, but I wouldn't give a flying F either way. It's gross and creepy to hit on kids, boy or girl. Half the highschool freshman class is 15, they barely know their asses from their elbows even if they act tough and like they know what's up. I'm ten years younger than your boyfriend and I know it's messed up, and you can bet he knew it to. Some part of him just didn't care. THAT'S your problem, no matter how you want to rationalize it. Look, at 15 I knew right from wrong. If a 15 yo boy had stabbed a classmate to death... would you be here saying he should walk free because he isn't old enough to have morals? They did this together and BOTH should take responsibility. This guy could have thought he was sexting with his xGF the whole time only to find out later it was a 15yo girl. See that's the difference between text and in person. Had this been in person I would be much more inclined to say this guy is in the wrong. At 15 sexting is ALWAYS WRONG!! It doesn't matter who you are sexting with. So, put away your pitchforks and lighter fluid. You are simply being too judgmental and leaping to conclusions without enough information.
snug.bunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) You should! Accusing someone of being a pedophile, is a very serious accusation these days. Child molesters are the 21st century's witches. Shooting your mouth off IRL over some guy over 18 who is flirting with your teenage daughter could easily get him killed by self appointed local vigilantes. Its happened. There's people in this thread who have suggested the girl's father should have murdered him, and they dont even know the exact details of what was described as 'innocent flirting' when drunk. OK. So my use of the term may be a bit preemptive... I'm not sure if "sexting" a minor is illegal, since no sexual contact actually took place. But, the intent is there (IE: "sexting" a minor). And, he has a girlfriend... Nonetheless, the fact that you seem more concerned with his safety over a minor's safety, seems rather bizarre. Edit: I just looked up whether or not "sexting" is illegal, and yes, it is! http://www.mywesttexas.com/top_stories/article_d3fefb83-fc26-506f-b7e5-d61dcfd12cfa.html So, use whatever term you wish. It is still an ADULT, going after an ADOLESCENT! Edited February 28, 2012 by snug.bunny
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Look, at 15 I knew right from wrong. If a 15 yo boy had stabbed a classmate to death... would you be here saying he should walk free because he isn't old enough to have morals? They did this together and BOTH should take responsibility. Pretty spot on here. Besides, don't most places in the U.S. let 16 year olds emancipate themselves? Are we saying that an emancipated minor is barred from dating adults since they're not "technically" an adult, but they can live on their own, hold a job, pay bills and live regularly? This makes no sense. I know the girl in this situation was not an emancipated minor, but 15 is still far from a baby.
snug.bunny Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) Look, at 15 I knew right from wrong. If a 15 yo boy had stabbed a classmate to death... would you be here saying he should walk free because he isn't old enough to have morals? They did this together and BOTH should take responsibility. An offender is prosecuted, not the defendant... So in the example you listed, the 15 year-old boy would be prosecuted for committing murder... If an adult had sex with a minor, the adult is the offender, not the minor. Nice try though. Edit: I know my use of the terms aren't accurate in a court of law, but from a "moral standpoint", you get the idea... Edited February 28, 2012 by snug.bunny
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 15 IS far from a baby. I remember when I was 15 as if it were yesterday. I was a nubile juicy morsel, but I had NO CLUE about the power in it. I was testing the waters of sexuality and was barely getting wet - I was NOT sexually active; just into making out with boys I liked. I had some experiences with old guys who were attracted by my budding sexuality. It was "gross," but secretly very flattering. I had NO CLUE how to comport myself with older guys. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I really had NO idea. I could have been trashed. 15 year old kids are very vulnerable. Just because they aren't "babies" does not make them any more "fair game" for adults. "Knowing right from wrong" and bringing in an analogy of murder is just completely off base. Sure, I knew right from wrong when I was a teenager. I did a LOT of things that I knew were wrong. That was not because I had horrible parents, either. Society owes some protection to young people in general. Teenagers need to be able to go around with their sexuality blossoming without being considered as reasonable targets for adult sexuality. I don't care if they are boys or girls, though society certainly views grown women having sexual relations with young men differently than the reverse. I am not saying that this guy is a pedophile. In fact, my opinion of this particular guy is that he is just basically some form of lowlife; getting drunk and "sexting" strangers at the age of 35 is not a very encouraging behavior. I can believe it was an "accident" that the recipient turned out to be 15. I am confused about the "remorselessness," that definitely puts him into the camp of being a creepy loser, unless that was a typo. Just leave the kids alone, grownups, even if they are sexy.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 An offender is prosecuted, not the defendant... So in the example you listed, the 15 year-old boy would be prosecuted for committing murder... If an adult had sex with a minor, the adult is the offender, not the minor. Nice try though. Edit: I know my use of the terms aren't accurate in a court of law, but from a "moral standpoint", you get the idea... I would argue that in a consensual sexual encounter... there is no offender from a "moral standpoint".
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I would argue that in a consensual sexual encounter... there is no offender from a "moral standpoint". So, you seriously and honestly believe that if a 15 year old "consents" to sex with a 35 year old, in this society where we live, there is absolutely no questionable morality involved?
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 So, you seriously and honestly believe that if a 15 year old "consents" to sex with a 35 year old, in this society where we live, there is absolutely no questionable morality involved? Couldn't it go either way? Isn't there equally as questionable morality involved when a hot 20 year old woman hits on an elderly rich guy? Or vice versa? If both are truly happy with the setup (we'll never know if they truly are unless we can read minds) has any injustice really been done?
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Couldn't it go either way? Isn't there equally as questionable morality involved when a hot 20 year old woman hits on an elderly rich guy? Or vice versa? If both are truly happy with the setup (we'll never know if they truly are unless we can read minds) has any injustice really been done? If a hot 20 year old hits on an elderly rich guy just to get her hands on his money, I would certainly say that questionable morality is involved. But it's not illegal, and both parties are adults. We have to assume that adults are equipped to make judgements and to fend for themselves without the "protection" of society (unless they are mentally unable). If he thinks it's worth it, then it's his right to go for it. As I wrote, young teenagers are in general very vulnerable sexually. A 20 or 90 year old might be very vulnerable sexually too, but since society cannot and must not interfere with adults exercising their own freedoms, those folks are on their own like the rest of us. Kids, however, have NOT developed judgement. It's a proven and documented fact that the teenaged brain is in a state of flux especially where judgement and impulse control are concerned. I am not all about calling people who want to bone teenagers "pedophiles." I AM all about calling adults in our society together for the protection, sexually, of kids. And I am really offended by the whole idea that if a 15 year old girl or boy looks sexy and "wants it" that they are fair sexual game for somebody much older than they are. Adults just need to take the responsibility of leaving kids alone, sexually.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 15 IS far from a baby. I remember when I was 15 as if it were yesterday. I was a nubile juicy morsel, but I had NO CLUE about the power in it. I was testing the waters of sexuality and was barely getting wet - I was NOT sexually active; just into making out with boys I liked. I had some experiences with old guys who were attracted by my budding sexuality. It was "gross," but secretly very flattering. I had NO CLUE how to comport myself with older guys. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I really had NO idea. I could have been trashed. 15 year old kids are very vulnerable. Just because they aren't "babies" does not make them any more "fair game" for adults. "Knowing right from wrong" and bringing in an analogy of murder is just completely off base. Sure, I knew right from wrong when I was a teenager. I did a LOT of things that I knew were wrong. That was not because I had horrible parents, either. Society owes some protection to young people in general. Teenagers need to be able to go around with their sexuality blossoming without being considered as reasonable targets for adult sexuality. I don't care if they are boys or girls, though society certainly views grown women having sexual relations with young men differently than the reverse. I am not saying that this guy is a pedophile. In fact, my opinion of this particular guy is that he is just basically some form of lowlife; getting drunk and "sexting" strangers at the age of 35 is not a very encouraging behavior. I can believe it was an "accident" that the recipient turned out to be 15. I am confused about the "remorselessness," that definitely puts him into the camp of being a creepy loser, unless that was a typo. Just leave the kids alone, grownups, even if they are sexy. I completely agree with most of what you are saying here. 15 year olds should be free from the sexual advances of adults. That said... sex comes with life altering consequences and it doesn't matter if your sex partner is 15 or 30. It is a parents responsibility to teach their offspring how to make those choices and to hold them accountable. This applies to everything.... not just sex. I made myriads of life changing choices at the age of 15. I had adults judge my actions every single day. I was made to be responsible for my choices... and though I sometimes chose wrong and made mistakes... they were never big ones. I'm not saying this guy did the right thing... or that it's Ok to hit on a 15 year old. I'm saying I don't know enough about the situation to really have an opinion on this guy... and the girl should be held responsible as well. Also, age aside we expect men to control themselves in these types of situations. That's fine. That doesn't mean women get a free pass to do as they like.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Also, age aside we expect men to control themselves in these types of situations. That's fine. That doesn't mean women get a free pass to do as they like. True - but the person in this story is not a woman. She is a girl. And if she is a completely promiscuous sociopathic teenaged tramp who already has a 2 year old child and comes onto every man who is within her range, I STILL think that adults need to leave her alone, sexually.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 If a hot 20 year old hits on an elderly rich guy just to get her hands on his money, I would certainly say that questionable morality is involved. But it's not illegal, and both parties are adults. We have to assume that adults are equipped to make judgements and to fend for themselves without the "protection" of society (unless they are mentally unable). If he thinks it's worth it, then it's his right to go for it. As I wrote, young teenagers are in general very vulnerable sexually. A 20 or 90 year old might be very vulnerable sexually too, but since society cannot and must not interfere with adults exercising their own freedoms, those folks are on their own like the rest of us. Kids, however, have NOT developed judgement. It's a proven and documented fact that the teenaged brain is in a state of flux especially where judgement and impulse control are concerned. I am not all about calling people who want to bone teenagers "pedophiles." I AM all about calling adults in our society together for the protection, sexually, of kids. And I am really offended by the whole idea that if a 15 year old girl or boy looks sexy and "wants it" that they are fair sexual game for somebody much older than they are. Adults just need to take the responsibility of leaving kids alone, sexually. But we still allow 16 year olds to emancipate themselves. They're mature enough to live on their own, and work and have independent lives but not mature enough to consent to sex? I don't buy that. I do agree that adults should leave 15 year olds alone, but I don't find anything inherently creepy about a 35 year old and a 15 year old. Can it be creepy and predatory? Definitely. Is it always the case? No.
kaylan Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 What's the lesson here? Most women don't have much respect for grown men that flirt with young, still physically and mentally developing, girls on the verging and emerging cusp of womanhood. It's not hard to figure out why. And I think Kaylan is one cool guy in this thread for not taking the traditional male stance where most guys seem to want the 35 year old guy flirting with his ex gf's new boyfriend's young teen daughter a "chance". To be fair, im not the only guy in this thread who thought the OPs guy was a weirdo. There were a few others in the opening pages who chimed in, but ive just been someone who continually follows the thread. Man or woman, I think its irresponsible and predatory to heave in any sexual manner towards young folks. Im not a fan on those manipulative relationships. Teen kids should explore their sexuality with other teen kids...not loser adults taking advantage of their naivety. However, I do think we need to know the contents of those messages...only to give a more accurate response to the events.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 To be fair, im not the only guy in this thread who thought the OPs guy was a weirdo. There were a few others in the opening pages who chimed in, but ive just been someone who continually follows the thread. Man or woman, I think its irresponsible and predatory to heave in any sexual manner towards young folks. Im not a fan on those manipulative relationships. Teen kids should explore their sexuality with other teen kids...not loser adults taking advantage of their naivety. However, I do think we need to know the contents of those messages...only to give a more accurate response to the events. I'm sure you also think sweat shops in foreign countries are predatory too. Or paying somebody 2 dollars a day to pick strawberries is predatory. It's only predatory if both parties don't agree to the arrangement. 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 So, you seriously and honestly believe that if a 15 year old "consents" to sex with a 35 year old, in this society where we live, there is absolutely no questionable morality involved? To the responsibility of the 15 year old... the age doesn't matter... they are not mentally ready to be engaging in sexual activity. This constitutes a grave failure in personal judgement and parenting. To the responsibility of the 35 year old. It isn't appropriate to be in sexual situations with someone judged to be a minor. This shows a grave failure in personal judgement and a complete disrespect for a young person's well being. I just can't tell you that a 15 year old bears no responsibility for their actions. It seems schizophrenic to hold them responsible for everything except sex.
kaylan Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I'm sure you also think sweat shops in foreign countries are predatory too. Or paying somebody 2 dollars a day to pick strawberries is predatory. It's only predatory if both parties don't agree to the arrangement. That has nothing to do with this conversation. But sweat shops are predatory. The same way EU and USA protectionism of their agriculture is predatory of African agriculture and keeps the continent poor...instead of making great economic progress in an industry Africa excels at. Just throwing out predatory and selfish behavior while we are talking about it. Those in power have a responsibility to the less fortunate. Exploiting them is wrong. Any way you slice it, its wrong,
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