Things dont work out with a new girl, andbI revert back to missing my ex...

[proteinshake25]

I've done this cycle. 3 timez this last year. I've actually dated about 6 or 7 girls. But only 3 were I really interested in. Each time. We have a few dates, I get really excited really ready to put my ex behind me and move on for good. But Then things dont work. And I revert back to missing the ex. Ironically all 3 of those girls still had heavy feelings for their ex's. Even with this 3rd girl I told myself.. "alright the feelings are so great that even if it doesnt workout with said girl, I cant revert back to my ex." Sure enough I do anyways. It's terrible. Is this unhealthy? My ex resented me like the devil once we brokeup. Why do I keep missing her when she only steives to hurt me.

[jus d'orange]

It sounds like you already know the solution... you need to spend some time single, healing from your relationship with your ex, and working on being the person you want to be. Otherwise, you're simply delaying the healing process.

[youngster]

I agree with orange. Though it's been a year, these girls are rebounds. You get distracted by the luster of a new relationship, but when it fails, you are hit with the reality that you're not completely healed. Try some time alone. Get yourself switched back to neutral. Once you are content with being alone, you won't feel the need to measure potentials with your ex. Instead, you'll measure them to your wants/expectations.

[proteinshake25]

Well in alota ways theese girls exceed my ex and the attraction is usually higher to them than was my ex. I'll try spending some time single, but I feel that I need to have a girl to atleast desire or chase in my life and when there is none i fill it with my ex? I guess thats an unhealthy trait?

[radiodarcy]

It sounds like you already know the solution... you need to spend some time single' date=' healing from your relationship with your ex, and working on being the person you want to be. Otherwise, you're simply delaying the healing process.[/quote']

 

^^^this. if you're asking if it's an unhealthy trait to feel that you need to have woman in your life in order to fill the void that your ex left; then the answer is yes.

 

as jus d'orange said - - it's better if you just stay single for awhile. i too have had my disappointments with false starts since my ex. but i can honestly say it hasn't done much to re-kindle my feelings for him or caused me to miss him. that's because i spent a good 8 months staying single post breakup before i even considered dating again.

 

not only did it give me a chance to heal; it also helped me build of my interests and self-esteem. so i was in a better position to deal with the ups and down of dating. sure i was disappointed when things didn't work out with some of the guys i dated. but the fact that i had that chance to stay single and build up my armor, made it much easier to handle. and kept me from missing my ex.

Edited February 23, 2012 by radiodarcy

[Eddie Edirol]

Well in alota ways theese girls exceed my ex and the attraction is usually higher to them than was my ex. I'll try spending some time single, but I feel that I need to have a girl to atleast desire or chase in my life and when there is none i fill it with my ex? I guess thats an unhealthy trait?

 

That is unhealthy when youre not over your ex yet. You have to let the feelings for her pass while youre single or else this will keep happening and you will never stop thinking about her. New women only postpone your feelings for your ex, (like bad cough medicine) they dont make them disappear. Thats why you keep missing your ex after they dont work out.

[stitch702]

Perhaps this is life forcing you to try and enjoy being single for a bit. Trust me once you have gone through all the stages of grief and have come to accept and truly move on from your ex, you will be ready and a whole new person. Take the time to learn from your mistakes and forgive your exes. You may end up a much better person for your next relationship.

 

Also these girls that you are dating are bad news. You don't want to have a relationship with a girl who still has feelings for her ex because that in turn makes you a rebound. From experience I see that most rebounds don't work out.