digi Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 I am 27. I dated my first boyfriend (let's call him Joe) for 5 years, we split up but remained friends. He was a great guy. Within 6 months I was dating another guy (Bob), we stayed together for another 5 years. He was not such a great guy, and it was a very unhappy relationship In November I split up with Bob, and almost immediately got in touch with the Joe again.. we have now been casually 'dating' since, but haven't defined whether we are boyfriend/girlfriend again. He feels more like a brother to me. I think I've made a massive, massive mistake in getting back in touch with Joe again, and feel awful for the hurt that I may cause. I had a one-night stand last weekend, something I've never done in my whole life... and I am ashamed to admit I enjoyed it! I've also started noticing other guys, which I've never done when I'm in a relationship. I'm still *relatively* young, and don't think I should stay with Joe just to avoid hurting his feelings. I think he's a great guy, and I know he's mad about me, but I just can't see him as a boyfriend.. how on earth do I let him go without tearing out his heart?!
Exit Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Kinda no way to guarantee that. Honesty is the best policy regardless of the result. All you can do is hope to be lucky and find out that he wasn't fully invested in you yet either and knew that it was just casually hanging out for the time being. All you can do is admit you made a mistake and it's unfortunate if that ends up hurting him.
2sunny Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 You seem to need time on your own to figure out what may make you happy. There isn't any good reason to have a "need" to be with another man all the time. When you find a way to be happy on your own - that is when you have the ability to offer " your completely happy self" to someone else.
M2155 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Well, you're undefined so maybe you need to talk about expectations if you think you may have led Joe on. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be with him, as long as you don't lead him to believe that. You just got out of a long relationship and need some time being uncommitted, that's acceptable. Make it known you are seeing other people beforer Joe gets vested.
Orianne Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Since you're not really 'dating' yet, why not tell him you just want to be friends? You'll probably hurt his feelings no matter what you do. Considering how you feel now, even if you were to stay with him, you're likely to break up anyways and hurt him worse.
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