Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 I have been dating this guy for the past 4months. He was so into me in the beginning. He would take me out to eat and pay EVERY SINGLE time. He would take time out of his day to spend time with me we would see each other everyday out of the week. Then all of a sudden things kind of went down hill between us. We never really argued we had one major argument and that was a couple weeks ago. He was acting weird with his phone we were at a karaoke bar and he just left his phone unattended on a table in the bar and I told him I was going to go and put in my pocket because he's forgetful and would most likely have forgotten it there. Well he kind of jumps out of his seat and tells me to just leave it. He left his phone face down to with the back of his phone facing up from the table. We got into an argument about the whole scene and he went on to say "that's why he doesn't want to get into a relationship because of reasons like this" I was so shocked that he would even say something like that to me. He had been on his phone all night texting other people and I just thought it rude considering he was there with his friends, sister and me. He use to hate when I did that and so I stopped and would leave my phone in the car whenever we went out somewhere. So anyway fast forward a couple weeks things just changed over night. Whenever I text him he hardly replies back he wont answer my phone calls and wont return them. I called him last Saturday and he answered the phone he sounded like he had been sleeping the first thing he says is "ugh, so exhausted" when any other time he wouldn't have minded me calling him in the morning. I had text him that previous Friday not long after he got off from work saying I felt as if he was avoiding me for some reason and that I feel as if he doesn't want to talk with me. He never replied back I called him a few hours after the text and he never picked up. So the next morning that Saturday when I call him the first thing he says is he's "exhausted" so I ask him he's just been tired lately and he's like "no I'm fine" but a few seconds ago you just said you were exhausted. He tells me that he just doesn't have time for me anymore with his new job and everything and that when he moves we wont EVER see each other. Its a complete change from what he said last week when Iwas the one worried about all of this and felt we wont see each other. He reassured me at that time that we would still see each other on the weekends. Now its a different story now he's saying we wont ever see each other. He said that he just wanted to spend more time with his mom and dad because he knows that when he moves he wont see them all that often. He said that in our time apart that if I meet someone that I should date him. I just think that he has met someone at his job and he is infatuated with her right now. He started a new job a couple weeks ago and he works with all women. He told me a couple weeks back that we need to "update" my wardrobe. And that really hurt my feelings. The thing is I don't have a car right now, things aren't going really well in my life right now I got fired from my job a few weeks ago all because this girl lied about things and it ended in me getting fired. I am being forced to find my own home to live in because my brothers feel that they want their own places right now. I'm so worried because I don't know if I'll be able to pull my own weight and pay for my part of the financial expenses. And now this, he just rejects me all of a sudden and just acts like I am unimportant. He told me to contact him first because he feels like all of this is his fault and that he doesn't want to "impose" he said however long it takes just contact him whenever I am ready. I contacted him yesterday because I forgot a pair of my shoes in his car. They've been in there since last week. He hasn't mentioned them to me and hasn't offered to return them. So I just text him even though I know I wasn't ready to. I needed my shoes though as I don't have very many dress shoes and I really liked those boots. I ask him if we could possibly meet up this weekend so he can return them to me. He said sure and would Sat morning be okay he asked me about an interview I had last week. I asked him if Sunday morning would be okay (because I wouldn't have a decent ride until then)and I answered his question regarding my interview last week. He never replied back. I figured okay well he must be busy. I waited all day for him to reply back but he never did (which I find unusual because he has his phone glued to his hip and is always on it)I call him late yesterday evening and the phone rings a few times and goes to voice mail. I waited an hour and decide to call him from another phone he doesn't pick up but within minutes of me calling he calls back. He claims that he was busy talking to his mom and dad and that he was going to call me back. I said that you had time to call back an unknown number but you didn't have time to call me back. He lied and said he was going to call me back. Which was lies. I told him that I was getting in contact with him about my shoes and he said that he got my text and that he said Saturday was fine. I told him that I text him back and he never replied. His excuse was that he was busy at work with training and everything. Which I said yes I understood that but I called you and I was forwarded to voicemail. He got offended and said you really don't have trust in me? Anyway he got angry and said that he would return my shoes to me on Sunday. Oh and the last text message between us I told him (this was after the phone call last night)that I didn't hate and that I have no animosity towards him that I actually care a great deal about him. But that he had to understand that a person notices when someone is treating them differently and that I wasn't going to put up with that. I told him all I want are my shoes and after that he won't have to worry about me bothering him anymore. His response was: "It's not that you're bothering me but you have to understand that you went about getting in contact with me the wrong way, and also didn't give me time to call you back...I don't mind hearing from you at all, I care about you as well..." I replied back: Okay I admit the method in which I got in contact with you was a bit over the top. I still feel as if I am being treated differently though. In all honesty...I'm not ready to talk with you....as friends right now. I needed my shoes though that's really the only reason I text you this morning. I need more time, to move on from how things use to be between us. I still see you as more than just a friend it really does hurt knowing we can't go back to that. He never replied back. Not even this morning when he got up to get ready for work. I know his schedule so has had plenty of time to reply back. I just feel he is just trying to ignore me and hope that I just disappear. So has he lost interest or does it sound as if he's found someone else?
Author Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 Sorry my post is so long but I would really like another person input on this. So if anyone could take the time to read it and give me an answer it would be much appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 The protectiveness over the phone just makes me think he was already seeing someone else. His slow fade away was to lessen his guilt by believing by not dropping a bombshell he would be sparing you pain. Telling you to see other people is another way to lessen his guilt.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 The protectiveness over the phone just makes me think he was already seeing someone else. His slow fade away was to lessen his guilt by believing by not dropping a bombshell he would be sparing you pain. Telling you to see other people is another way to lessen his guilt. Yeah I have yet to hear from him. I think he is seeing someone else as well. When I talked to him last Saturday he was saying things like he's not a "monster" and that he's a "good guy" and that he felt like this was all his fault. It's okay I guess this is all probably for the better.
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Hi, friend. the thing with the phone really got to me. That in itself is a sure sign there is someone else or something amiss. I was with a guy who had his phone glued to his side---the fool even kept it on the table during our dates and would glance at it. Your guy also went from completely available to unavailable--knowing he keeps his phone by him and he doesn't pick up; not a good sign. This loser is giving you the runaround. Do NOT call him anymore and if he calls, don't pick up---you're schedule just doesn't allow it; you are too busy;) Sounds like you got the brush off. He is not worth your time.
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 He said he's not a 'monster' and he is a 'good guy'....OMG, heard the very same line; now this dude is with someone else not being a monster and a good guy. You don't need to be treated that way; you are too good for that nonsense. Do things to keep busy; I joined a gym, do crafts, work extra; anything to keep yourself occupied. Talk to your friends, so you can get through this process and heal. When it doesn't work out with this new one, he will contact you again. You are too busy though:)
Author Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 Hi, friend. the thing with the phone really got to me. That in itself is a sure sign there is someone else or something amiss. I was with a guy who had his phone glued to his side---the fool even kept it on the table during our dates and would glance at it. Your guy also went from completely available to unavailable--knowing he keeps his phone by him and he doesn't pick up; not a good sign. This loser is giving you the runaround. Do NOT call him anymore and if he calls, don't pick up---you're schedule just doesn't allow it; you are too busy;) Sounds like you got the brush off. He is not worth your time. Yeah I even asked him at the time was he talking to someone else. That same night we had that argument. He lied and said that there was no way he could be seeing anyone else since he spends all of his time with me. He said that he couldn't believe I would say something like that when he's done so much for me and spend all of his time with me.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 He said he's not a 'monster' and he is a 'good guy'....OMG, heard the very same line; now this dude is with someone else not being a monster and a good guy. You don't need to be treated that way; you are too good for that nonsense. Do things to keep busy; I joined a gym, do crafts, work extra; anything to keep yourself occupied. Talk to your friends, so you can get through this process and heal. When it doesn't work out with this new one, he will contact you again. You are too busy though:) Yup! I think what it is, is that he wants me around just in case things don't work out with this other girl. But it's okay I'm too smart to make the same mistake twice.
aries326 Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 I too will agree with the phone thing. He wouldn't have anything to be so protective of if he wasn't already doing something on it that he didn't want you to see. Never mind all the rest of his nonsense he's pulling on you. Don't make someone your priority when you are just an option for them. You deserve better than that.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 I too will agree with the phone thing. He wouldn't have anything to be so protective of if he wasn't already doing something on it that he didn't want you to see. Never mind all the rest of his nonsense he's pulling on you. Don't make someone your priority when you are just an option for them. You deserve better than that. Yeah I agree. I immediately became suspicious when he just acted all crazy about his phone.
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