nevadagirl Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 this is stupid and i feel kind of embarrassed even putting this out there but that's technically what this site is for! despite all of my progress (and really, there has been genuine progress) there are things that i think i'm allowing to hold myself back from completely letting this person go. here's one great example. my ex and i broke up 3 times over the couse of our second year together. one of those times he confessed he wrote a "missed connection" ad for me on CL. i was touched. i guess. so during all of the subsequent break ups i'd read missed connection ads...hoping for something. i never saw anything that struck me as him but one day i came across one that i was 100% convinced he wrote ....to another girl. my friends called me neurotic because HOW could i really know? but i just did. i knew how he wrote. it was him. i forgot about it for awhile but the last night i saw him, then night of our final forever parting, i asked him if he'd written that to some girl a mere handful of days before he'd asked to get back together with me AGAIN. he admitted that he had written it. so anyway. still...sometimes i read the missed connections. because we gotta make it hard on ourselves y'know! I was feeling sad around V-day not really because of v-day but because his birthday is the day right after. and...i kid you not, there was this missed connection ad on his birthday that said "for my birthday..." there were things in it that made sense for our particular situation...about wishing he could share the person he has discovered in himself with me...blablabla... but ultimately i don't think he wrote it. the writing style was just...wrong. lots of elipses and uncapitalized letters. but i just kept thinking...what are the freaking odds... even though i don't think he wrote it and it's just a HUGE coincidence i am letting it affect me. like i'm suffering some sort of delusion that he still cares about me or something. oh well. i already know, NC NC NC NC. if i wanted 100% heart smashing proof i could just journey to his public facebook. but i don't. i don't wanna care. i don't wanna know. but i do still care. and part of me does wanna know.
CC12 Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 I don't know that I'd call it neurotic. A little unhealthy, maybe, to be constantly checking Craigslist for a missed connection ad from your ex. It's probably in your best interests to try to stop looking for him to reach out to you. You seem to rationally know what to do to get over him, but you're not letting yourself do it for some reason. And by the way, it makes it difficult to give you advice when you already realize you could/should be doing things differently. I can only suggest that you try your hardest to stop seeking communication from him and that every time you find yourself pining for him or reminiscing about the past, instead do something that will take your mind off him and that will also benefit you right now, and in the future. Organize your house, paint a room, get some exercise, learn a new language, take up a new hobby. Whatever it is you do, make sure it moves you forward. This Craigslist stuff isn't worth your time or energy. You know this!
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