lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 I just came back from a second date with a guy. We really hit it off (it was just as good or better than the first date). I was wondering if it's too forward of me to email him right away about how much I enjoyed the date. Also, would it be too desperate of me to email him in a couple of days with ideas for a third date (with no set date)?
USCGAviator Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Not too soon at all for an email, and def nothing wrong with making plans for a 3rd.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Nothing at all wrong with an e-mail or text thanking him for the nice time. I think that's very courteous and guys appreciate it. As for setting up the third date, personally I'm kind of old fashioned in this way as I prefer to let the man "initiate" the dates early on. That doesn't mean I expect him to do all the planning, or pick up the check...only that I wait for him to say something like "I'd love to see you again. When are you free for us to meet up next?" And in my experience, a guy who really likes you will have no problem initiating another date. In my current relationship, my guy asked me out for a third date (loose plans) before our second date had even commenced.
SJC2008 Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Here's some advice from a man who is dating a woman yet to contact him first: DO IT! There is nothing wrong showing a man you're interested. Now let him be a man and pursue so email him mabye in the afternoon/evening that you enjoyed his company and thanks for showing him a good time! That is more than enough for him see it as a good sign and ask you out again! Wait unitl he asks you out again to offer ideas. Like "hey have you ever been to such and such a place" or "what do you think about x" it gives a team work vibe which is cool. Good luck!
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 Also, after the first date, I can say that I immediately developed strong feelings for him. After the second date, it's only intensified. It's so bad that for the last few days I haven't slept, and have no appetite. It's like I'm sick. I have this constant feeling of butterflies and nervousness in my stomach 24/7 since we met. I'm light headed and exhausted and yet have this restless, jittery energy that's keeping sleep at bay. It's ridiculous to feel this way for someone who I just met (after only 2 dates). And since we met, he has dominated my thoughts every monent. Is this normal? I've never experienced this before.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 Your brain is swimming in love chemicals. Classic signs...I would not see him for a week, so you have time to think straight and not on love drugs. What ever you do, don't tell him you have feelings for him this early. You are in a very vulnerable state. Do you think it would be too much to tell him I like him? Or would that already be clear because of the fact I accepted a second date? I did email him after the second date about how great it was and thanking him for it. I didn't suggest a third date right away. I might email him next week, though. Also, he is moving slow on the physical side (not even holding hands yet), but he's a bit conservative and proper, so he might just like taking things slow. But he has said he's attracted to me, among other things. I don't want to be too clingy right away, so the most I've done is kiss him on the cheek after the second date. If I could I would be all over him! I think I wouldn't be able to resist seeing him before next week if he asked.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 but do you think me kissing him on the cheek was not too much? That it wasn't desperate?
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 No way, it was nice of you, i would have appreciated. Desperate, would be grabing his crotch or trying to french kiss him. What was his reaction when you kissed him on a chick, how far in to the date was it? He reciprocated by kissing me on the cheek (our faces were close next to each other, because we were in a close hug). It was at the end of the second date during the goodbye. Then he smiled at me as he said good-bye and we walked our separate ways.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Do you think it would be too much to tell him I like him? Or would that already be clear because of the fact I accepted a second date? I did email him after the second date about how great it was and thanking him for it. I didn't suggest a third date right away. I might email him next week, though. Also, he is moving slow on the physical side (not even holding hands yet), but he's a bit conservative and proper, so he might just like taking things slow. But he has said he's attracted to me, among other things. I don't want to be too clingy right away, so the most I've done is kiss him on the cheek after the second date. If I could I would be all over him! I think I wouldn't be able to resist seeing him before next week if he asked. Has he contacted you at all between dates? Did he ask you out on the first and second dates, or were either one of them initiated by you? I'm of the opinion that if he's really interested, he will suggest a third date, and it will be soon. Not necessarily the date itself; I think a date a week is a good pace at the beginning of a new relationship/dating. BUT if you have had two great dates with him and don't hear from him for a whole week (you mentioned that you might e-mail him next week to ask him out again)...that to me doesn't sound like he's interested. He should get in touch with you and ask you on the next date, especially if you initiated the second one. Don't set up a dynamic of being the initiator early on unless it's the role you really want to assume for the duration of the relationship if it pans out. He will wait for you to call, wait for you to text, and wait for you to make plans, because that's what you've taught him is the dynamic. Which, let me clarify, is FINE, but I know that most women aren't comfortable being in a relationship where they have to initiate everything. Does he call you between dates? Text? E-mail? It seems weird that you're just assuming he won't ask you out again and that you'll have to e-mail him next week to get another date with him.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 23, 2012 Author Posted February 23, 2012 Has he contacted you at all between dates? Did he ask you out on the first and second dates, or were either one of them initiated by you? I'm of the opinion that if he's really interested, he will suggest a third date, and it will be soon. Not necessarily the date itself; I think a date a week is a good pace at the beginning of a new relationship/dating. BUT if you have had two great dates with him and don't hear from him for a whole week (you mentioned that you might e-mail him next week to ask him out again)...that to me doesn't sound like he's interested. He should get in touch with you and ask you on the next date, especially if you initiated the second one. Don't set up a dynamic of being the initiator early on unless it's the role you really want to assume for the duration of the relationship if it pans out. He will wait for you to call, wait for you to text, and wait for you to make plans, because that's what you've taught him is the dynamic. Which, let me clarify, is FINE, but I know that most women aren't comfortable being in a relationship where they have to initiate everything. Does he call you between dates? Text? E-mail? It seems weird that you're just assuming he won't ask you out again and that you'll have to e-mail him next week to get another date with him. He initiated everything (both dates and both dates only 2 days apart). He asked for a second date the morning after the first date. He's also been sending me emails everyday since the first date. Both dates were around 4 hrs long. I guess I just don't want to assume he likes me, because I know some guys just change their minds or flake out.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 We'll we're going on a third date. I asked and he messaged me back right away with a yes. It's the third one in one week (we're seeing each other the day after tomorrow.) This must mean he likes me, right? He has to if he wants to see me for the third time in one week! Do you think seeing other this much right away is overkill? Or is it okay, since we like each other?
veggirl Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 We'll we're going on a third date. I asked and he messaged me back right away with a yes. It's the third one in one week (we're seeing each other the day after tomorrow.) This must mean he likes me, right? He has to if he wants to see me for the third time in one week! Do you think seeing other this much right away is overkill? Or is it okay, since we like each other? DEEP BREATH!!! I saw my BF 3x in a week when we had our first date. Well, actually no. It was Saturday, Weds, Sunday. But, anyway, I don't think it's too much but I do think you need to RELAX. You sound obsessed with him already, you really really need to chill a little bit. Are you sure it's HIM you super like, or are you just really want a boyfriend or what?
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 DEEP BREATH!!! I saw my BF 3x in a week when we had our first date. Well, actually no. It was Saturday, Weds, Sunday. But, anyway, I don't think it's too much but I do think you need to RELAX. You sound obsessed with him already, you really really need to chill a little bit. Are you sure it's HIM you super like, or are you just really want a boyfriend or what? No, it's him. I have met other guys, and I'm usually quite reserved, and I find it hard to connect with people. With him, it's different. But I have relaxed. I still think about him a lot, but the physical symptoms (sleeplessness, anxiety, loss of appetite) have dwindled. And what's wrong with being infatuated. I know it won't stay at this intensity. Also, it was him who initiated the first two dates (and he was the one who wanted to see me again on our second date when we had just seen each other two days before).
veggirl Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 No, it's him. I have met other guys, and I'm usually quite reserved, and I find it hard to connect with people. With him, it's different. But I have relaxed. I still think about him a lot, but the physical symptoms (sleeplessness, anxiety, loss of appetite) have dwindled. And what's wrong with being infatuated. I know it won't stay at this intensity. Also, it was him who initiated the first two dates (and he was the one who wanted to see me again on our second date when we had just seen each other two days before). NOTHING wrong with being infatuated! As long as you recognize it for what it is, which it sounds like you do! Just make sure you don't rush things too much. Even if he starts to. the old adage is true, a lot of the time. Too much too soon fizzles fast. You don't want to go from 90mph to 0. You want to go from like, 70 mph to 40. Keep that in mind and it sounds like you're good to go. I'm glad you initiated the 3rd date, I think that's great to show some initiative!
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