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Would men marry a woman they didn't love?


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Posted
Not older folks and elderly men and women whom have looong been married and lived in dependent relationships whom have lost their partners over "natural causes". Many marriages of convenience take place in this demographic where romantic love has long been seen as the province of the youthful--post menapausal women, older guys with ED et al. People who have been independent for decades are less inclined to marry for convenience because of the reasons you mention.
They don't even have to be that old. A lot of divorced people seem really, really eager to marry ASAP. It seems to be a combination of (1) needing someone to take care of them and (2) needing a partner so they're not socially ostracized by their married friends.
Posted
Yes, and I would apply this to women too. This whole "soulmate" and "the one" delusions have really altered peoples perceptions and I think that is one of the biggest reasons this is happening. People can have something good but if it's not "perfect" then it's insufficient. All these Hollywood films and romance novels really stress how amazing it would be to have that "perfect" guy or girl, but the truth is, they don't exist.

 

Hundreds of years ago people didn't have this problem. Why? Because this ridiculous concept didn't exist. Now that it does, all people ever do is complain that they can't find anyone good enough (myself included). It's a mentality that shapes the dating world and not for the better.

 

I agree.

 

Mass media has also created this problem. Before if you lived in a small town your perception of what guys looked like was based on the guys in your town and the next town over.

 

Now, your perception of what guys should look like are based on what mass media tells women what guys should look like.

Posted
Looks like match.com conducted a survey that says many would.

 

That's f***ing insane??? I loved my my ex-wife so much when I marred her. The only other motivation think would be money.

Posted
Yes, and I would apply this to women too. This whole "soulmate" and "the one" delusions have really altered peoples perceptions and I think that is one of the biggest reasons this is happening. People can have something good but if it's not "perfect" then it's insufficient. All these Hollywood films and romance novels really stress how amazing it would be to have that "perfect" guy or girl, but the truth is, they don't exist.

 

Hundreds of years ago people didn't have this problem. Why? Because this ridiculous concept didn't exist. Now that it does, all people ever do is complain that they can't find anyone good enough (myself included). It's a mentality that shapes the dating world and not for the better.

 

 

Agreed, people don't realize that this idea of marrying your perfect mate because you are in love is only as new and female independence. Prior to this, people married to establish a family and monetary need. Some got their dream guy/girl and others settled for someone who was good and honest person. That is now that is usually the obnoxious, unattractive neighbor/family friend that the main character's mother/father invites to dinner.

Posted

King Arthur and Guinevere didn't marry for love--why else would Guinevere be screwing around with Lancelot?

Posted

It happens, more then people are willing to admit. Except in surveys on match.com.

Posted
I could never marry somebody I am not in love with.

 

I think men initiate seperations less because we don't feel the need for all the stars to perfectly align all the time in order to feel like we have't settled. We know that is just fantasy while women still expect things to be like some romance novel 24/7 and god help a man if he can't provide that. Men seem to get the message much quicker that life is not the fantasy it is portrayed as in the movies.

From threads Ive read it would seem guys divorce less because they are less apt to forgo consistent sex. And they are less apt to divorce if the love is gone in a relationship.

 

This is just the impression I get from reading threads on various forums over the years.

Posted

While the men tend to stay married, and just look for the excitement and romance on the side :rolleyes:

Thats because they dont want to lose their kids, their house, and half their bank account. :rolleyes:

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