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How do I hold a conversation with a girl who is shy and has no interests / hobbies?


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Posted

I met this new girl and I find it hard to have a conversation with her because she is shy like me, doesn't go out, and has no interests or hobbies.

 

All she does is go to work and school. When she has free time she stays at home and watches movies. And I know she likes to take care of little kids.

 

I'm used to girls who have things going on and talk about themselves. Previous girls even ask me questions about myself. This girl did not ask me any questions about myself when we met for the 1st time. There were long awkward pauses. But she did give me her phone number and I didn't even ask her. So when I call I think it's going to be all weird.

Posted

When you call, keep it short.

 

Hi, how's your week going? Want to do something this weekend? Goodbye.

 

When you go out with her, make moves on her early since there won't be much to talk about.

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Posted
When you call, keep it short.

 

Hi, how's your week going? Want to do something this weekend? Goodbye.

 

When you go out with her, make moves on her early since there won't be much to talk about.

 

i think making moves early is a problem because we are both shy. i need to get comfortable.

Posted

You got her number without asking, huh? Good job. She really likes you. My advice: never say, "I dunno. What do you wanna do?" You have to do the planning and initiating. It may suck but that means you're the one dominating the relationship.

Posted

Aww. I'm glad you're going to call her.

 

Do you watch movies? Talk about that. Maybe go see one and make plans to have dinner or drinks/coffee after. And this way, you'll have something fresh in your mind to talk about.

 

Good luck.

  • Author
Posted
You got her number without asking, huh? Good job. She really likes you. My advice: never say, "I dunno. What do you wanna do?" You have to do the planning and initiating. It may suck but that means you're the one dominating the relationship.

 

I was going to ask at the end but she gave it to me first:o

  • Author
Posted
Aww. I'm glad you're going to call her.

 

Do you watch movies? Talk about that. Maybe go see one and make plans to have dinner or drinks/coffee after. And this way, you'll have something fresh in your mind to talk about.

 

Good luck.

 

I'm going to get courage and call tonight.

 

I don't watch movies much so I have to research on what is good right now.

 

I tried to avoid movie dates in the past and do things that require more interaction. But it this case, I might have to.

Posted

Has no interests or hobbies?

 

lol everyone has interests and hobbies, but like you said, she's just not one to really talk about it.

 

With shy people you really gotta dig it out of them.

Posted

 

All she does is go to work and school. When she has free time she stays at home and watches movies. And I know she likes to take care of little kids.

 

She doesn't has interests or hobbies? I doubt that.

  • Author
Posted
Oxy is right. Plan something ahead of time. Take control so she feels comfortable with you. Instead of saying 'what movie would you like to see? (she might answer 'I dunno'). Ask if she's seen 'fill in the blank' and, if not, would she like to? This gets her on a positive dialogue. At the theater... instead of what would you like to eat? (I dunno) ask 'would you like some popcorn?, etc. Questions that have specific answers.

 

just a note...this is the opposite way to talk with most women. If a woman isn't shy then ask more open ended questions and then be respectful by actually listening.

 

(One day if you two become an item she may talk your head off. :laugh:)

 

it seems like everytime I meet a new girl, they are shyer than the previous. :(

  • Author
Posted
Has no interests or hobbies?

 

lol everyone has interests and hobbies, but like you said, she's just not one to really talk about it.

 

With shy people you really gotta dig it out of them.

 

She doesn't has interests or hobbies? I doubt that.

 

i asked her what hobbies she likes and what does do on her free time and that is all she said, watching movies at home and take care of kids (nieces, nephews, cousins). and she does not do sports or other physical activities.

Posted
i asked her what hobbies she likes and what does do on her free time and that is all she said, watching movies at home and take care of kids (nieces, nephews, cousins). and she does not do sports or other physical activities.

 

Beside what previous posters said, you will know more about her after spending some quality time with her. Anyways, don't you like to solve an enigma or you prefer she gets you bore to death with a long list of her hobbies?

Posted
i asked her what hobbies she likes and what does do on her free time and that is all she said, watching movies at home and take care of kids (nieces, nephews, cousins). and she does not do sports or other physical activities.

 

That's already enough to go on. Ask what kind of movies she likes, why she likes them, her favorite actors etc. A lot can stem from that.

 

She likes kids. Ask her what she enjoys most about them, what she sees them doing in the future, why she named them what she did etc.

 

I just think you depend too much on the woman to make things interesting. You seem like you don't care enough to really dig in there and figure her out. I know you're not used to it, but she isn't gonna lay it all out on the table like how you are used to.

 

It seems to me like you should leave her. You are too bored already and don't think it's worth the effort to get to know her. You need someone less introverted.

Posted

I'd agree that if you're willing to coax her out of her shell, it could be fulfilling.

 

On the other hand, if she really does have no hobbies or passionate interests other than what you say and there isn't enough mutual interest in general, then just let her know that you don't think you're a good match. She may not be very open minded in general..

 

Saves both of yourselves the trouble if you know it won't develop into anything regardless of how much effort you put in. She might not really be interested in many things or care to look outside of herself. Nothing wrong with that, but if it isn't you, then it can't be helped. Sure, she might be quite, but it's irrelevant as to how you get along together. It's not enough.

  • Author
Posted

I just wanted to update this thread.

 

I have seen this girl several times since. Although we don't we have common interests, we seem to connect and conversations flow smoothly. We can talk about many things and barely have any moment of silences.

 

This is weird because with the previous girl I dated, we had a lot of simliar interests and personality but we couldn't hold a conversation.

  • Like 1
Posted
I just wanted to update this thread.

 

I have seen this girl several times since. Although we don't we have common interests, we seem to connect and conversations flow smoothly. We can talk about many things and barely have any moment of silences.

 

This is weird because with the previous girl I dated, we had a lot of simliar interests and personality but we couldn't hold a conversation.

 

Hurry up and make a move on her before she friend-zones you! (hopefully you have already)

Posted

Awesome OP :bunny:

 

I agree with Eddie, there should be something physical by now!

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