First ever cold-approach

[Mark1]

So anytime I am out and about I see gorgeous women. Today I was in a department store, and saw a GORGEOUS cougar. I noticed there was no ring on her finger, so I decided to go up to her.

 

"Excuse me, miss? I couldn't help but notice that you are absolutely stunning, and I would be kicking myself if I didn't at least come over and introduce myself."

 

*Stares at me* (At this point, I'm crapping my pants, but just as i'm about to walk away, she smiles and says, "Seriously? "

 

"Yeah, seriously. Im Mark" She shakes my hand and tells me her name.

 

"Hey, Im about to head out, would you like to get a drink sometime?"

 

"No thank you, but I really appreciate the offer"

 

"Okay, have a nice day"

[Oxy Moronovich]

The best thing to do is make them laugh first. I noticed when you get a woman laughing it increases the chances of you getting a number.

[Nightsky]

You’d have better luck with women your own age or younger. I mean unless cougars are your thing then by all means continue.

 

When she wasn’t in the mood to join you to do something right there and then you could have kept trying. You could have asked if she was free some other time. You should have also asked her for her number so you could ask her out again.

 

Good job doing something you’ve never done before. How do you feel cool? You should be happy you challenged yourself and made that woman’s day.

[ptp]

The best thing to do is make them laugh first. I noticed when you get a woman laughing it increases the chances of you getting a number.

 

A lot easier said than done.

 

Unless you are a stand up comedian, how are you supposed to make someone laugh when you know literally nothing about them?

 

How are you supposed to walk up to a random stranger and generate an interesting/funny conversation out of thin air?

 

I don't think the vast majority of people can do that.

[SJC2008]

Well congrats on your first cold approach. Alpha males aside, they are not too easy. Next time I'd be more casual, starting off saying she's gorgeous off the bat sends off alarm bells that you are hitting on them. You have to trick them IMO lol. Tell her, "hey that's a nice (whatever she is buying), great taste". It's an ice breaker with a compliment not too over the top. If she reciprocates just ease into a short convo and at the end just do what you did. Of course it's easier said than done!

[akazid]

You probably made her day ... try getting more conversation in as a "cold approach" doesn't have to be "cold". Basically, get some "happy emotion" in / banter with them. Ask some others not. Cold approaches don't really have to be with a result that ends with a phone number but just about becoming more social/comfortable to talking people you've just met.

[Oxy Moronovich]

A lot easier said than done.

 

Unless you are a stand up comedian, how are you supposed to make someone laugh when you know literally nothing about them?

 

How are you supposed to walk up to a random stranger and generate an interesting/funny conversation out of thin air?

 

I don't think the vast majority of people can do that.

You've never made a random stranger laugh before?

 

I'm not talking about making their sides split. I'm talking about a little chuckle or some giggles being enough. Starting a conversation with random women may be hard at first. But it'll get easier the more you do it. Here's an example of a convo I had with a woman at Macy's recently. This is more or less what we said:

 

Me: "Excuse me, I was walking by when my eyes fell out of my sockets when I caught sight of you. I've been thinking of a good pickup line to use on an attractive woman like you, and I think I've narrowed it to two. Which do you like better? 'If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.' Or 'What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.'

 

She chuckled a little and said, "The first line is super-cheesy...but flattering. The second line is kinda vulgar. And I'd probably slap you."

 

Me: "Oh, so neither of them are to your tastes. Are there any pickup lines I could say that would allow me to score your number?"

 

Her: "I don't care for pickup lines. They're just so stupid. Especially that last line."

 

Me: "Then what do you want guys to say?"

 

Her: "How about saying, 'Hi, my name is such-and-such. I saw you from a distance and you looked really cute and I just had to talk to you.' Something like that. It's alot better than that awful math line you were using."

 

Me: "Ok. Hi, my name is Oxy. I saw you from a distance and you looked really cute and I just had to talk to you. Is that good enough to score a number?"

 

Her: "Almost. Just give me more info about you. You seem okay, but you could be a creep."

 

That's basically it. It's bantering, light-hearted conversation, and keeping things simple.

[Seneca]

Great job Mark1! I'm sure you made her day!

[counterman]

Good on you Mark!

 

You went in with a solid opener, direct and you asked her out. Good for a first cold approach.

 

I would suggest to have a conversation the next time then asking her out or for her number. Your chances of getting a date would increase dramatically. But regardless, getting over any nerves and anxiety is the first huge step. Keep it up!

[Imajerk17]

You've never made a random stranger laugh before?

 

I'm not talking about making their sides split. I'm talking about a little chuckle or some giggles being enough. Starting a conversation with random women may be hard at first. But it'll get easier the more you do it. Here's an example of a convo I had with a woman at Macy's recently. This is more or less what we said:

 

Me: "Excuse me, I was walking by when my eyes fell out of my sockets when I caught sight of you. I've been thinking of a good pickup line to use on an attractive woman like you, and I think I've narrowed it to two. Which do you like better? 'If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.' Or 'What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.'

 

She chuckled a little and said, "The first line is super-cheesy...but flattering. The second line is kinda vulgar. And I'd probably slap you."

 

Me: "Oh, so neither of them are to your tastes. Are there any pickup lines I could say that would allow me to score your number?"

 

Her: "I don't care for pickup lines. They're just so stupid. Especially that last line."

 

Me: "Then what do you want guys to say?"

 

Her: "How about saying, 'Hi, my name is such-and-such. I saw you from a distance and you looked really cute and I just had to talk to you.' Something like that. It's alot better than that awful math line you were using."

 

Me: "Ok. Hi, my name is Oxy. I saw you from a distance and you looked really cute and I just had to talk to you. Is that good enough to score a number?"

 

Her: "Almost. Just give me more info about you. You seem okay, but you could be a creep."

 

That's basically it. It's bantering, light-hearted conversation, and keeping things simple.

 

Well, the important thing is that your words has to match your body language and internal state.

 

Mark was nervous. That's perfectly fine, and he deserves mad props for actually talking to her, as most guys wouldn't have even tried. If he had tried to banter with her though, he would have come across as a weirdo. His words wouldn't have matched his state, the woman could pick up on that, and she would have suspected something was up.

 

If on the other hand, you went in as Mark did, you would have come across insincere. Your personality is more suited to banter, and so that is what you ought to do. At least to start.

 

Mark, next time stick around. As her a question about herself. Then after talking to her for a few minutes maybe you can take the next step and go for her number.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Well, the important thing is that your words has to match your body language and internal state.

 

Mark was nervous. That's perfectly fine, and he deserves mad props for actually talking to her, as most guys wouldn't have even tried. If he had tried to banter with her though, he would have come across as a weirdo. His words wouldn't have matched his state, the woman could pick up on that, and she would have suspected something was up.

 

If on the other hand, you went in as Mark did, you would have come across insincere. Your personality is more suited to banter, and so that is what you ought to do. At least to start.

 

Mark, next time stick around. As her a question about herself. Then after talking to her for a few minutes maybe you can take the next step and go for her number.

Yeah, I agree. A problem I noticed is when he said I wanted to introduce myself, but then he didn't state his name or anything else. I've been there myself. I've frozen and expected her to make a move. Instead, I should have been the one guiding the conversation.

 

As you noted, Mark needs to get to that point where he feels comfortable talking to women he just met. From there, the conversation can do good or bad and it won't affect him.

[FrustratedStandards]

The best thing to do is make them laugh first. I noticed when you get a woman laughing it increases the chances of you getting a number.

 

Agreed 200%.

 

A lot easier said than done.

 

Unless you are a stand up comedian, how are you supposed to make someone laugh when you know literally nothing about them?

 

How are you supposed to walk up to a random stranger and generate an interesting/funny conversation out of thin air?

 

I don't think the vast majority of people can do that.

 

It's true, it's not easy, but it's the best dealbreaker. I once had a man come up to me and say "Why did the gum cross the road?". I thought it was a ridiculous start to a joke, but I responded anyway. "Why?"

 

"Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot."

 

LMFAO

 

I almost peed my pants from laughter. It's a stupid joke but I thought it was hilarious. I ended up giving him my number. We didn't end up dating though cuz he had kids. Regardless, it can be as stupid as that. Just a silly knock knock joke. And if it's cheesy or bad, we can laugh at the attempt too, and it will break the ice.

 

At least, that's what's worked for me in the past

[CC12]

Good job, Mark. It takes some guts to ask out (or even speak to) a complete stranger. Getting yourself out there is good!

 

As you get more comfortable with approaching people, you'll get better at it. Like, next time, don't just tell her she's pretty and that you'd like to meet her somewhere else. That's kind of a safety concern for most women. They're not just going to agree to meet a total stranger somewhere. So don't be some total stranger! Attempt some conversation, build rapport, flirt a little. Then if it seems to be going well, ask if she wants to get some coffee next door, or some other nearby meetup spot.

 

I mean, think about it. If someone walked up to you and said, "Hi, you're gorgeous. Wanna date me?", would you go for that? Well, you might, but it's usually different for women. But I'm sure she was super flattered and that it made her day! Keep putting yourself out there!

[xisnotx]

The first time I approached cold it went like this.

 

Me- "Hi."

Her- "Hi."

Me- "Can I sit down?" (She was on the ground sitting...in a hallway.)

Her- "uhh..sure?" *awkward stare*

Me- *Having sat down* "Do you know why I asked to sit down?"

Her- "No.."

Me- "You looked bored. Were you bored?"

Her- "I guess."

Me- "Are you bored now?"

Her- "No."

Me- "So, what are you doing?"

Her- "I'm waiting for my fiance."

Me- "Oh..umm..will you marry him?"

Her- "I think I will."

Me- "Well, good luck.."

Her- "Thanks..."

 

Two seconds later the guy comes out and she gets up and hugs him and they leave.

 

A very awkward experience...

[Ruby Slippers]

You go, boy!

[Jynxx]

A for effort, F for execution.

 

There's tons and tons of approach material on the internet, most of it is rubbish and even the worst one out there probably doesn't tell you to ask a girl out after 2 sentences. There's a reason for that.

[Imajerk17]

A for effort, F for execution.

 

There's tons and tons of approach material on the internet, most of it is rubbish and even the worst one out there probably doesn't tell you to ask a girl out after 2 sentences. There's a reason for that.

 

There are critics and there are doers. What are your cold approach stories?

 

And I don't care how much you read, none of it matters until you actually go out there and do it.

[Imajerk17]

Yeah, I agree. A problem I noticed is when he said I wanted to introduce myself, but then he didn't state his name or anything else. I've been there myself. I've frozen and expected her to make a move. Instead, I should have been the one guiding the conversation.

 

As you noted, Mark needs to get to that point where he feels comfortable talking to women he just met. From there, the conversation can do good or bad and it won't affect him.

 

It will come with experience. He will chew on this experience and the next one will likely go better.

[Jynxx]

There are critics and there are doers. What are your cold approach stories?

 

And I don't care how much you read, none of it matters until you actually go out there and do it.

 

You got sand in your vagina or something? I'm just giving op some feedback on why a story he wanted to share went the way it went, if something like that pisses you off it would be healthier to abstain from reading forums altogether.

[Ranchero44]

The first time I approached cold it went like this.

 

Me- "Hi."

Her- "Hi."

Me- "Can I sit down?" (She was on the ground sitting...in a hallway.)

Her- "uhh..sure?" *awkward stare*

Me- *Having sat down* "Do you know why I asked to sit down?"

Her- "No.."

Me- "You looked bored. Were you bored?"

Her- "I guess."

Me- "Are you bored now?"

Her- "No."

Me- "So, what are you doing?"

Her- "I'm waiting for my fiance."

Me- "Oh..umm..will you marry him?"

Her- "I think I will."

Me- "Well, good luck.."

Her- "Thanks..."

 

Two seconds later the guy comes out and she gets up and hugs him and they leave.

 

A very awkward experience...

 

That is so sweetly funny . . . . good for you for putting yourself out there.

[polcas]

So anytime I am out and about I see gorgeous women. Today I was in a department store, and saw a GORGEOUS cougar. I noticed there was no ring on her finger, so I decided to go up to her.

 

"Excuse me, miss? I couldn't help but notice that you are absolutely stunning, and I would be kicking myself if I didn't at least come over and introduce myself."

 

*Stares at me* (At this point, I'm crapping my pants, but just as i'm about to walk away, she smiles and says, "Seriously? "

 

"Yeah, seriously. Im Mark" She shakes my hand and tells me her name.

 

"Hey, Im about to head out, would you like to get a drink sometime?"

 

"No thank you, but I really appreciate the offer"

 

"Okay, have a nice day"

 

Nicely done! I think you can improve it by giving her your name right away and kind of not stopping talking so she gets past the initial shock and there are no awkward silences. Next see if you can comment on something she's doing or wearing right after the opener (try not to stop talking but do it calmly) and then maybe ask for her phone number but not for a date right at the spot, unless it's a date right there like grabbing a cup of coffee at the cafe right across the street or something, because it's better to build a little more trust before that but as many have said much easier said than done and it was an overall pretty good approach especially for the first one.

[volvo99]

You’d have better luck with women your own age or younger. I mean unless cougars are your thing then by all means continue.

 

When she wasn’t in the mood to join you to do something right there and then you could have kept trying. You could have asked if she was free some other time. You should have also asked her for her number so you could ask her out again.

 

Good job doing something you’ve never done before. How do you feel cool? You should be happy you challenged yourself and made that woman’s day.

 

 

But then when does persistence become pushy? I suppose if you don't ask you don't get...but does no mean no here the first time around?

[Nightsky]

But then when does persistence become pushy? I suppose if you don't ask you don't get...but does no mean no here the first time around?

 

No means no, but it doesn’t mean no for all times. So if you see that same girl you’re aloud to ask her out again. Also a “no” to getting a drink that moment doesn’t mean a “no” to different plans on another day or night.

 

I wouldn’t worry so much about being pushy. Just live your life as you see fit. Be the person you can be proud of.

[Alexanda]

Lol I saw your post on city-data yesterday! That was very bold of you, if you keep doing that you might get a date.

[Imajerk17]

You got sand in your vagina or something? I'm just giving op some feedback on why a story he wanted to share went the way it went, if something like that pisses you off it would be healthier to abstain from reading forums altogether.

 

Me thinks you're a tad defensive.

 

I stick by my comment. It's darn easy to critique a cold approach, but it's much harder to actually put yourself out there and do it. I actually have the experiences---good, bad, and ugly--to back it up though. Maybe you do too.

 

No doubt there is room to improve. Next time Mark will do more talking and lead the conversation after he gets her attention.

 

There is some decent stuff out there on the Internet actually. They can help a guy. I encourage a guy to check it out. But you can't just READ your way to becoming decent at this. Nor can you watch youtube videos either. I don't care how much you "learned" you don't know anything during your first approach. Anyway, the "studying" comes AFTER you put yourself out there, for next time.