FrustratedStandards Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 50-60 is rare in a man. It seemed you dealt with womanizers and that is a different ball game than most men Really? Actually now that you mention it, they were horny little freaks. But there's a reason we were well suited lol So for a 30 year old lets say, whats the average?
irin Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 i think a person's view towards casual sex is very important, imagine getting into a relationship with one of these so called former-sluts, and they cheat, tell you "it was just sex it didnt mean anything" <---that kind of attitude scares me. my # is 0 at 21, i would like someone with less than 5. preferably also 0. both of expectations are unrealistic as someone has mentioned in thread earlier that in the uk people just have way too many partners. so no hope for me. 1
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I think average for a 30 year old guy is about 10 or less. Most likely less, otherwise it means that he is a player and sleeping around.
ascendotum Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Exactly what I posted earlier! So I knew something was up. I asked her if he was one of her old ****buddies and she got all pissy with me and said she did not want to talk about it. So essentially I got my answer. What hurt the most is that she did absolutely nothing to introduce me as her boyfriend. I felt betrayed that night. Yet she made me the bad guy because in her words "you made me feel like a slut" Are you for ehfing real?!? She was in fact a slut. That's not my damn fault. I do not like being blindsided like this. This is why I want to know. I do not want one of her FBs at our wedding reception yukking it up about when he and his buddy two holed her in the parking lot etc. That's reason enough to get the scoop from your GF if for no other reason. I dont need details but I would like to know who, when, where and for how long. g I think you read too much into that encounter...not you didn't correctly surmise that guy being one of her former FBs, but that there's lots more guys who have been with her floating around that you're likely to bump into them every now and then. You really dont know for sure. That would be funny though if you did keep bumping into guys when ever you went out who kept saying to her, heeey so where have you been, I've been missing those latenight sessions we used to have (not for you though). For me, if I had my gf spin that incident back on me, there would have been a fight. Dude I dont know if you were joking here, but this made me . "I dont need details but I would like to know who, when, where and for how long." Man, thats what I call details. My last few gf's were a little vague about numbers, which is fine by me as kind of dont really want to exactly know, but when its more then the number of birthdays, its getting too many for me. What I find more disturbing is when a woman explains her high count due to bad mistakes because she drank too much or was on meds or was on eccies. I would rather a man eater ala samantha from satc than a girl whose majority of partners were from when she was blitzed and screwed by predatory 'drunk trollop' players.
Phennyphen Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I think average for a 30 year old guy is about 10 or less. Most likely less, otherwise it means that he is a player and sleeping around. 10or less at 30?! It must be a generational thing..
Emilia Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I don't understand why you would ever ask your partner how many people they've slept with. It's in the past, it's none of your business. I think it's a sign of jealousy and insecurity if you need to know the number. [...] If you're worried about STD's, it makes sense to ask your partner if they've ever had unprotected sex. It also makes sense to ask them to get tested and show you the results of the test to prove that they're clean. But asking how many partners they've had is totally unnecessary. Might as well admit the truth: you want to know the number so you can judge them for it. So you don't want to ask the number but you want your partner to prove to you that they are not lying about STD tests? A bit inconsistent to say the least
Emilia Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) Are there STATS somewhere that people who've had X number of partners in the past (whatever "too many" is) are more likely to cheat?! People keep throwing around "it shows how you'll behave in the future" etc...but you're just SAYING this, none of you have any actual proof, or do you and I've missed it somewhere? I have never asked any of my dates but I think there is a correlation. I know men who have slept with hundreds of girls, for them it's a habit to pull girls and the boundaries have definitely blurred. I think if you do something a lot, it becomes a habit and part of who you are I think once it's a consistent lifestyle , it's hard to imagine that the person would go monogamous. Partly because amongst those hundreds of girls there were probably good ones with long term potential and they still got ignored. There would have been also some seriously low quality girls (two guys with very high numbers I know have slept with prostitutes, not that I have an issue with pros) and clearly that didn't bother them. These men specifically I'm referring to don't put a value on fidelity and relationships so yes I think there is a correlation - but the numbers have to be very high. Edited May 11, 2012 by Emilia
oaks Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 BUT, the reality is that most guys have a high number, so I never ask. I suspect you're just generalising from your personal (and self-admittedly limited) viewpoint. I'm never sure what the point of making claims like this really is, since it says one of two things about women as well. By extension, either most women also have a high number or there's a small number of women who are sleeping with all these guys. On average, number of sexual partners for heterosexual people must be about the same, as a simple analysis should suggest.
g450 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I don't think it's insecure. It's not like i'm going to ask if he was bigger or better in bed than me. THAT would be insecure. I dont think its being inesecure either. Im like you. I dont need the details. But there are some things I need to know in MY situation with her. My girl is not a typical woman in that regard. And for the record. I did NOT know she did all this until after I fell in love with her. That's why it hurt so much to hear that crap. I pretended that it didnt bother me. But I think now she knows better. She doesnt bring it up any more. Had I known this stuff early on I would not have even introduced myself to her. But honestly, she is one of the sweetest women I have ever met. Kind, Loving etc. Seeing those attributes overshadowed her dark past for me. And honestly, I have no problem with a woman with a history but when you have a girl that did stuff that makes your stomach turn that brings a whole new and unwanted dymanic to the relationship. How could it not. Some can deal with it and some cant. I would like to think Im mature enough to handle it. But it really comes down to her. Has she changed for good? Will this crap haunt our marriage in the future? I dont know the answer to that but I am taking a chance with her because I feel it can work out.
KR10N Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I'm curious, those of you who say a large # of sexual partners would be a dealbreaker in a partner, how many is too many? If not an exact number, some sort of formula? (ex: Single for X years means they can have Y partners)? And would you refuse to date someone who WOULDN'T reveal their number to you? If you really liked someone and then they revealed too high of a #, would you stop seeing them?I'm a virgin so I would prefer someone who is as inexperienced as I am. If it were a guy who had been in a long term relationship and wasn't a virgin, that wouldn't be a big deal. But if we're taking about a man-whore than I would definitely have to say it's a huge dealbreaker. I'm not interested in the whole 'one night stand' scenarios and I'm certainly not interested in a man who goes through women about as much as he goes through his underwear.
Pierre Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 The number of sex partners is not an issue after one gets a bit older and goals change. I married a virgin when young, but now I could marry a woman with a zillion prior partners because I am in a different stage in life. The issue is that some folks feel that men and women that have many different partners do not value sex in the same light as the more conservative folks. For example some men and women only have sex in a completely committed relationship whereas other men and women f****k anything that moves. The latter makes the other partner feel less special.
g450 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 g I think you read too much into that encounter...not you didn't correctly surmise that guy being one of her former FBs, but that there's lots more guys who have been with her floating around that you're likely to bump into them every now and then. You really dont know for sure. That would be funny though if you did keep bumping into guys when ever you went out who kept saying to her, heeey so where have you been, I've been missing those latenight sessions we used to have (not for you though). For me, if I had my gf spin that incident back on me, there would have been a fight. Dude I dont know if you were joking here, but this made me . "I dont need details but I would like to know who, when, where and for how long." Man, thats what I call details. My last few gf's were a little vague about numbers, which is fine by me as kind of dont really want to exactly know, but when its more then the number of birthdays, its getting too many for me. What I find more disturbing is when a woman explains her high count due to bad mistakes because she drank too much or was on meds or was on eccies. I would rather a man eater ala samantha from satc than a girl whose majority of partners were from when she was blitzed and screwed by predatory 'drunk trollop' players. OK good point. Yeah that is a lot to ask for. But what I meant by details is not the nitty gritty of it. What I meant by "for how long" means how long were they in this relationship. Not how long their sessions were. But I digress, guess it doesnt matter if it was a ONS or a six month f***fest. But asking those type of questions gives me insight as to what type girl she used to be and how much of a threat the guy is. And yeah I guess I already know the answer to that. Maybe Im just torturing myself. And for the record, He was in fact a former FB. She admited it. And that was my main concern. Here is the jist of it: I do not like her former FBs hanging around! But how am I supposed to have my radar up if I dont know which ones did and which ones didnt? See what I mean? I dont like being blindsided to crap like that. And most importantly, I want her Xs to know exactly where she and I stand now.
Recommended Posts