somedude81 Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Cerridwen, not to take the thread too far off topic, but how did you manage to transition from this To this: What was his approach - how did he get you to give him a chance? Have you seen a picture of her? I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually trying to ignore him while he was pursuing her and she just gave in. She's also more than just looks so I'm guessing men were always falling over themselves. 1
ptp Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Have you seen a picture of her? I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually trying to ignore him while he was pursuing her and she just gave in. She's also more than just looks so I'm guessing men were always falling over themselves. Sounds like somebody wants to have cerri's babies just kidding sd
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Have you seen a picture of her? I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually trying to ignore him while he was pursuing her and she just gave in. She's also more than just looks so I'm guessing men were always falling over themselves. Instant "LIKE", SD!! Thanks, buddy!
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 Sounds like somebody wants to have cerri's babies just kidding sd "Liked" then "unliked", brat.
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) Cerridwen, not to take the thread too far off topic, but how did you manage to transition from this What was his approach - how did he get you to give him a chance? He turned out to be exquisitely humble, Lex; not at all conceited or even aware of how handsome he was. Wherever we went, women stared at him yet to this day, he's still the most grounded, caring and modest person I know. Anyway... I used to sit in the back of the class with the rest of the jerks, so he waited one day to catch me alone and talk. We small talked and walked. The wind was blowing hard and without a jacket I started to shiver. He stopped and took his off, asking that I please wear it. He put it around me, fastening the front and then, ever so gently, brushed the hair out of my eyes. We just stood there staring at each other for a moment. Then he smiled. Then I smiled and likely blushed. I remember, because it was Christmas time, he had candy canes in his jacket. He pulled them out, gave me one, we unwrapped them and kept walking and talking. Showing that sincere concern for my well-being moved me. We dated the rest of college then married shortly after graduating. Edited February 23, 2012 by cerridwen
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 I am not universally gorgeous, so I thought that the instant chemistry would not happen for me. I guess it is reality; I was not that attractive, so he did not become infactuated with me based on my looks.. it took time for him to get hat chemistry, which was based on LOVE, and not my appearance. I just think that u cannot become physically infatuated, think of the person incessantly, and get that " wow I am obsessed with looking at her and her every move" infactuation IF the person IS NOT BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT. ATtraction, for average people, probably does not start with looking at each other first up, and feeling endless lust. I think it is just one of the benifits very good looking people have; it is not lasting, of course, unless there is deaper chemistry and a connection.
veggirl Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 No one needs to be "obsessed" with looking at another person, Leigh. Obsession does NOT equal LOVE.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 In fact, there are many people who would not become obsessed with looking at another person no matter what. No matter how hot and sexually desirable the person was. And, you are completely wrong that only "perfect" people ever are on the receiving end of instant chemistry. As I posted before, I think it comes down to what type you are. I am all about the chemistry, and I have experienced it more than one time in my life - it went both ways, and no, I am not "universally gorgeous," "super model hot," or any of those other superlatives you use so often. I am just a person who happened to "click" in a big way with a couple of other people. I'm thinking about Johnny Cash today, since it's his birthday - he and June were not "universally gorgeous" or "super model hot" and they certainly had instant chemistry, which served them well and lasted their lifetimes. Leigh - looks are not all they're cracked up to be. Not the look of your face, your vagina, none of it. Yes, beauty is a wonderful thing. It's not everything.
ptp Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) I am not universally gorgeous, so I thought that the instant chemistry would not happen for me. I guess it is reality; I was not that attractive, so he did not become infactuated with me based on my looks.. it took time for him to get hat chemistry, which was based on LOVE, and not my appearance. I just think that u cannot become physically infatuated, think of the person incessantly, and get that " wow I am obsessed with looking at her and her every move" infactuation IF the person IS NOT BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT. ATtraction, for average people, probably does not start with looking at each other first up, and feeling endless lust. I think it is just one of the benifits very good looking people have; it is not lasting, of course, unless there is deaper chemistry and a connection. This makes a lot of sense to me. Never having experienced "instant chemistry" this seems like a logical reason as to why. I would only say that I don't think you have "very good looking", I think you have to fit somebody's ideal look. Just from reading LS, a lot of women consider tall lean builds with some but too much muscle. So if a guy fits that ideal, he can generate that instant heat from a female. Comes down to, are you ideal or close to ideal for someone? Unfortunately some of us aren't ideal for anybody. So "instant chemistry" is probably a long shot. Edited February 26, 2012 by ptp
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Geez. I must be weird. I'm remembering this guy named Tony from high school. I had the biggest crush on him. It was all about "instant chemistry." He was SO not "hot." He had a look in his eyes (through the really thick glasses) - I thought he was brilliant - I thought he was hilarious - I could hardly stand to be near him, I was so … whatever. Then there was Patrick in San Francisco. Seeing him across the room … my stomach would drop. I loved to watch the way he walked. He had an air of mystery. He was not "hot," though he was definitely good looking (unlike Tony). He was also French and had a very … stimulating … voice. But, not "universally handsome" or muscular or any of that. I could go on and on. The height, muscle mass, approximation of "ideal" features has never, ever played a role in how my own chemistry was activated towards another person, except for that one tree guy ...
threebyfate Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I just think that u cannot become physically infatuated, think of the person incessantly, and get that " wow I am obsessed with looking at her and her every move" infactuation IF the person IS NOT BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT. ATtraction, for average people, probably does not start with looking at each other first up, and feeling endless lust. I think it is just one of the benifits very good looking people have; it is not lasting, of course, unless there is deaper chemistry and a connection.Inaccurate. H1 is objectively better looking and more sexy than H2. But it took 2 years before I even agreed to date him. Didn't like him at all so attraction wasn't there until I allowed him to convince me that I had misjudged him. My stupidity and fault. Now H2, immediate glom and pant. And he's not only physically attractive but is inherently a wonderful man which magnifies his attractiveness to me, tenfold. While I can't speak for men, women have this instinctual radar that they should rely on more often.
ptp Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Geez. I must be weird. I'm remembering this guy named Tony from high school. I had the biggest crush on him. It was all about "instant chemistry." He was SO not "hot." He had a look in his eyes (through the really thick glasses) - I thought he was brilliant - I thought he was hilarious - I could hardly stand to be near him, I was so … whatever. Then there was Patrick in San Francisco. Seeing him across the room … my stomach would drop. I loved to watch the way he walked. He had an air of mystery. He was not "hot," though he was definitely good looking (unlike Tony). He was also French and had a very … stimulating … voice. But, not "universally handsome" or muscular or any of that. I could go on and on. The height, muscle mass, approximation of "ideal" features has never, ever played a role in how my own chemistry was activated towards another person, except for that one tree guy ... Okay, So lets think about this logically. People on here have expressed how they have experienced "instant chemistry" or "sparks". Others like Leigh and I (I'll use myself as an example) have never witnessed this first hand. Isn't it reasonable for use to question why? I could be like some other posters on this forum and say "there is something wrong with all the women I have encountered through out my life" or I could look towards myself to see if there is something about me. Some time ago, there was a thread about ones "ideal looks". Not surprisingly most of the women described "ideal" as tall slender etc...... build. In fact none not even one described my build as "ideal". So isn't it reasonable of me to assume that very few, possibly no, women consider me "ideal" in terms of appearance? So you can see how it is fairly easy to go: "never experienced instant chemistry" + "don't meet physical criteria for most women" = "never experienced instant chemistry because I don't meet physical criteria". I am not discounting that there are other factors in play, but this conclusion is a reasonable one.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Okay, So you can see how it is fairly easy to go: "never experienced instant chemistry" + "don't meet physical criteria for most women" = "never experienced instant chemistry because I don't meet physical criteria". I am not discounting that there are other factors in play, but this conclusion is a reasonable one. I certainly can see how it can go that way. My real belief is that some people are very attuned to, or susceptible to the instant chemistry stuff, and other people are not. I just want you to know that it is not always, or even most times down to "ideal" looks.
ptp Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 I certainly can see how it can go that way. My real belief is that some people are very attuned to, or susceptible to the instant chemistry stuff, and other people are not. I just want you to know that it is not always, or even most times down to "ideal" looks. Okay, I am open to other things. What do you think causes this "instant chemistry"? Please don't say personality, because there isn't enough time to ascertain that in an instant. Here is a perfect example: I'm a Instant Attraction kind of girl, and when I spied my future husband for the first time, it was no exception. We were in college and when he walked into the room, my mouth dropped open and my first thought was, "That is the best looking guy I've ever seen in my LIFE!" Tall, dark hair, green eyes, the winter cold made his lips and cheeks a bright red against his light skin. If a guy can't illicit that type of visceral response, he probably has little chance for the "instant chemistry" stuff right? What do you think causes it? Pheromones?
somedude81 Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 If a guy can't illicit that type of visceral response, he probably has little chance for the "instant chemistry" stuff right? What do you think causes it? Pheromones? That's what I was thinking. Women only experience "instant chemistry" for guys they think are very good looking. And it's pretty depressing reading these stories knowing that you aren't good looking and women have never and will never feel that way about you.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Have you seen a picture of her? I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually trying to ignore him while he was pursuing her and she just gave in. She's also more than just looks so I'm guessing men were always falling over themselves. I agree, she's probably the best or one of the best looking women on this site, and she's beautiful on the inside too.
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