whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Told xfiance that the baby is not his. I told him that I went to a sperm bank and he wasn't surprised. Have a good friend that works there plus I am 40's and he understood my urgency to have a child. He apologized about changing his mind. He jnew that it was a deal breaker for me but he couldn't bear the thought of losing me. So it's not exactly the whole truth but I cannot expose MM. Anyway, I gave him a choice to be part of the baby's life. He's thinking about it. Either way I am raising the child. Glad you told him the baby wasn't his, but this still is going to blow up in your face one day. And when that happens you'll regret not coming clean about everything. If he chooses to help raise your child he HAS to know that exMM is the father of the baby. It's cruel of you to keep that to him. What if in a year or two exMM wants to be a part of the childs life? Tells your exF that HE is the father and exposes the truth to him? Never say never..
donnamaybe Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Glad you told him the baby wasn't his, but this still is going to blow up in your face one day. And when that happens you'll regret not coming clean about everything. If he chooses to help raise your child he HAS to know that exMM is the father of the baby. It's cruel of you to keep that to him. What if in a year or two exMM wants to be a part of the childs life? Tells your exF that HE is the father and exposes the truth to him? Never say never.. That might be a problem in the future for sure, but at least she isn't going to pass the baby off as his.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Personally, when I am hiding something or nurturing a lie it always bites me, badly.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 It sounds like a rough road ahead for the future child ... 1
NoIDidn't Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 It sounds like a rough road ahead for the future child ... No offense to the OP, but it could be a rough ride for her as well as the child could eventually be found to share her diagnosis or similar. I speak from experience. I have been diagnosed as NORMAL but living with a very abnormal family. My grandma (long term OW with several kids by MM) was diagnosed as BiPolar w/ Schizoid tendencies. Two of her children bipolar and one schizophrenic. And several grandkids with ADHD/ADD and other challenges due to their parents' challenges. There is treatment and support available for all of this, so I don't say this to discourage the OP. Its very possible that the OP could have a wonderfully "normal" child or a challenging high needs child. I'm sure she'll love her child either way.
whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 It sounds like a rough road ahead for the future child ... Which leads back to what if something is wrong at birth or in the future and that baby needs a blood transfusion or something along those lines. The truth WILL come out. The exF needs to know who the father is.. Lying/omitting the truth and saying that she went to a sperm bank wasn't the right way to handle this. Ex F is still not getting the honest information he needs to make decision to be father, a family man.. It's manipulation at it's best. Sorry to be blunt.
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