Lonely Ronin Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Like the tittle says, when does it become more than dating to you? O and when do you feel the 'talk' needs to happen?
FrustratedStandards Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Honestly, I have never felt the "need" to talk about it. I actually prefer not talking about it at all. It's always the guy who brings it up. I feel like i'm in a relationship whenever we are exclusive. How or when that happens is entirely up to the guy. However I prefer not to have the talk at all. I hate labels.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 22, 2012 Author Posted February 22, 2012 I feel like i'm in a relationship whenever we are exclusive. See I"m kind of getting the feeling that she wants to know. She hasn't said anything, It's just a vibe I've been getting over the last week or so.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 22, 2012 Author Posted February 22, 2012 WOW, I was expecting a lot more replies....
ditzchic Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Whenever the talk happens. It doesn't have to be a long formal drawn out talk but I let him pull the trigger on exclusivity. That can be as easy as him just saying he isn't seeing or interested in seeing anyone else. I take that cue. I find it usually happens by the end of the 2nd month of regular dating.
Dorie Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 In my experience, an exclusive relationship forms after dating for two or more months. I haven't had "the talk" since hitting my mid 20's. Instead, any establishment of exclusivity comes casually or is assumed as more and more time is spent together and regular sleep overs happen at each others' places. OP, I get the impression you are interested in establishing something with this woman. WHy not just approach her with it?
veggirl Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Current bf and I had the talk a month and a half in, I believe. Anywhere from one to three months sounds about right in general for me. He brought it up.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 22, 2012 Author Posted February 22, 2012 I haven't had "the talk" since hitting my mid 20's. Instead, any establishment of exclusivity comes casually or is assumed as more and more time is spent together and regular sleep overs happen at each others' places. OP, I get the impression you are interested in establishing something with this woman. WHy not just approach her with it? This is pretty much how it has always worked for me as well. It's slightly different with this woman though. Her work (potential transfer to an office about 2 hrs away) has put her under a lot of stress the last few weeks, and I'm starting to notice a subtle change in her interactions with me. Basically when we are not together, I sense she is a little more distant & non communicative via calls, and texts. It seems the stress has put her in a "I want to know" frame of mind. For example, she has made a lot more references recently to her various friends BF, fiancee, husband etc. I definitively want to establish something with her, and I'm think she wants something more as well, but I'm not 100%. thus I'm weary of bringing up the topic that might stress her out more. We have been dating about 2 months now, and it feels like we could go either way, and that she is leaving it up to me to decide.
Dorie Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 This is pretty much how it has always worked for me as well. It's slightly different with this woman though. Her work (potential transfer to an office about 2 hrs away) has put her under a lot of stress the last few weeks, and I'm starting to notice a subtle change in her interactions with me. Basically when we are not together, I sense she is a little more distant & non communicative via calls, and texts. It seems the stress has put her in a "I want to know" frame of mind. For example, she has made a lot more references recently to her various friends BF, fiancee, husband etc. I definitively want to establish something with her, and I'm think she wants something more as well, but I'm not 100%. thus I'm weary of bringing up the topic that might stress her out more. We have been dating about 2 months now, and it feels like we could go either way, and that she is leaving it up to me to decide. You may never know 100% so there will be risk involved whenever you ask. The stress alone may be why she's acting distant. If you gather it's something more to do with relationship status, act. Else you risk losing her all together.
FrustratedStandards Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 See I"m kind of getting the feeling that she wants to know. She hasn't said anything, It's just a vibe I've been getting over the last week or so. If you have been dating for more than a month or so, I think you should act on that. If it's been less, you should wait. But that's just me. If it feels right, do it. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 This whole stigma surrounding "THE TALK" has always miffed me. In my current as well as past relationship, "THE TALK" went something like this: Him: "Hey, just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else. I'd like to just be with you." Me: "Sweet, I'm not seeing anyone else either, and I feel the same way." Both: "Yay!" This has usually happened around a month in. Then the boyfriend/girlfriend titles just kind of naturally followed after a few more weeks. 1
HeartOnSleeve Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 I think it's good to establish something if it's what you want but short and sweet. I had "THE TALK" but then again I haven't had that convo in years.
kwayne Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 I'd say about a month in. It was quicker for my bf and I because we were like addicted to each other as soon as we started dating (sometimes we'd have two dates in one day). After he slept over (without having sex), I asked him what he wanted out of this (I never had a boy that I offered to spend the night not try anything) and he said he wasn't looking for a girlfriend and that he really wanted to be single and sleep around (he's always been very honest) but we talked about how we felt about each other and what we wanted in the future and now it's been 11 months today! Just bring it up, I did and it was nerve racking but I'm glad that I did. Good Luck!
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