phillipfill Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 My girlfriend is bipolar. She has been molested by her father and her uncle. She was physically hit by her parents when she was younger, throughout middle school. She can be a very sweet and loving girl, but at other times can be controlling and abusive towards me. She has had problems with using alcohol as an escape. She has been in 2 abusive relationships and has been raped by an ex-boyfriend twice. I cannot get any images of all of this abuse out of my head. I feel so bad for my girlfriend (of a year) and love her more than anything. However, I feel I cannot ever be completely happy being with her due to all of this trauma in her life. She has cheated on me multiple times, and also hid her ex-boyfriend whom used to visit her house every other day. Most of the time, it led to her being hit or pushed around by the ex. I no longer know what to do. She has promised over and over she will not cheat, she will not hide things, and she will change. This is so hard for me and I care about her so much. She says I am the first male in her life that cares about her this much, I am terrified of how miserable she may be if I leave her. Should I break up with her? If so, how would i go about doing it? i would feel so guilty and bad, but i dont know if that pain will be more or less than what I feel now. Please help..
FrustratedStandards Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 All I can say is that you can't love someone if you don't love yourself.
Old Flame Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Once a cheater, always acheater. And that is a fact.
Leigh 87 Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 U want to be with her, because you care about her too mch to leave her alone, in her mess. It may not be love, though; sometimes, u love can be confised with CARING very much about a women, with whom u also have sexual desire for. U need to just walk away. Is it possible to have her comitted? Seriously. It is not healthy WITh you, and without u, she may kill hersself or do something stupid. I would seriously consider calling the appropriate people, or taing her yourself to a hospital ( LIE - pretend u have business there). Tell staff that she will ill herself without u, and u are about to break up with her. That leaving her be, will be a disaster. In the long run, write a note saying " I am doing this because i care deaply about u - I care so much, that I cannot leave u, without knowing that u will be okay"
Emilia Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 My girlfriend is bipolar. She has been molested by her father and her uncle. She was physically hit by her parents when she was younger, throughout middle school. She can be a very sweet and loving girl, but at other times can be controlling and abusive towards me. She has had problems with using alcohol as an escape. She has been in 2 abusive relationships and has been raped by an ex-boyfriend twice. I cannot get any images of all of this abuse out of my head. I feel so bad for my girlfriend (of a year) and love her more than anything. However, I feel I cannot ever be completely happy being with her due to all of this trauma in her life. She has cheated on me multiple times, and also hid her ex-boyfriend whom used to visit her house every other day. Most of the time, it led to her being hit or pushed around by the ex. I no longer know what to do. She has promised over and over she will not cheat, she will not hide things, and she will change. This is so hard for me and I care about her so much. She says I am the first male in her life that cares about her this much, I am terrified of how miserable she may be if I leave her. Should I break up with her? If so, how would i go about doing it? i would feel so guilty and bad, but i dont know if that pain will be more or less than what I feel now. Please help.. It sounds very much like she needs professional help. I really don't think either of you are in the position to work this out alone. Also, I know you deeply care about her but this is an abusive relationship too! She is abusing you emotionally and mentally! That can't be healthy for either of you, can it???
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