striker12 Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Right well basically me and my ex were together for 3.5 years and we split up 11 days ago. Basically things haven’t been exactly great for awhile (xmas time) We have been arguing alot and stuff but I though it was just a rut although I was questioning my relationship myself. Anyway 11 days ago she came round to “talk”, I knew straight away the reason for the talk. We were both upset etc and she left my house with a brave face. The next day was a Saturday and we text abit (I know foolish) and she told me where she was going that night and I was going out to and we seen each other drunk, only arguments happened nothing else. We had a chat on the Sunday and agreed to give it a go a trial period for awhile and agreed to go out on the Monday. Well Monday was ok and we had fun but the problem was that it was exactly the same still felt as if we were going out and I didn’t want that because as I mentioned we needed to change! Anyway on the way home we had the whole were not sure if we are in love but we love each other it’s hard to explain but im sure some of you will understand. So we agreed to scrap the trail because it was never gona work. The Tuesday is Valentine’s Day and I’m working 7am till 7pm. I get a text from her at 11ish saying “morning hope you’re feeling on and works ok : ) “ (we agreed no contact). So at this point I was miffed as to why she had contacted me. I was at the gym at 8pm phone goes again “vie been crying all day since you left for work etc, I feel all alone.” We had a chat on the phone and just agreed to see how things go. Because we both agreed there were feelings but were unsure what they are. Anyway we’ve been texting abit but it seems although I’m making all the effort one minute she’s really nice the next blunt. I’m starting to get rather frustrated she either needs to let me move on or decide. Today we were texting abit and I have had a bad bout of food poising so haven’t been feeling well we, she feels ‘poorly’ today so she text me saying “I feel ill” I reply “aw man get well soon hugs from me “ just trying to be friendly and that. She texts me back saying I didn’t know what to say to that it made me feel really uncomrtable but just this morning she was saying we should be going on dates etc, if were trying to win each other’s love back :/ whats the crack, is it just me who cant understand. This is where problems have arisen we have tickets to go to the dogs on Saturday and because there paid for etc we have agreed to go because we’re just “seeing how things go”. What annoyed me is as soon as she realised I was done id had enough she’s straight back on the phone texting me, then few days later saying “I regret texting you” “I don’t want to lead you on but I just want to see how things go” (sorry for the essay haha : ) but it’s good to vent)
rach24680 Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 Wow, oky!! yoy need to have a serious think about what you want!! even thought u feel shes leading u on, ur doing the same by responding to her messages and agreeing to go out with her. Its probably such a mess because shes thinking the same things!! sounds like you need to have a chat and ageee (or dissagree) to the no contact thing, and if she messages you, ignore it!! this way you will both see how important (or not) you are to each other. never mind about the dogs-tell her she can have the tickets. You need to take time apart - with no excuses - to find out if you still love each other and if you want to be together. Hope i helped! - im in a mess myself tho so who knows!
M2155 Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 So 3.5 years together, you break up for whatever reason, and think you are should be dating 11 days later.... Hmmm:confused: You probably both aren't sure how to be broken up. You are used to having each other. That has to stop. Not to push each other away but to figure out your feelings, what you really want, and what needs to change. That doesn't really happen if you're back to talking and texting this soon because you're not starting fresh. You'll end up falling into familiar patterns and the same problems may (will) eventually creep back up. I'm not opposed to staying in touch, but you really need to give each other space for things to possibly work in the longer term, albeit together or not. You broke up for a reason, so implement some emotional distance in order for you both to experience what not being together and having each other is like. It's not a bad thing, it's just if you break up, agree to really be broken up and work on your healing and growth so things can have a chance to work out for the best. 1
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