Eno Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 I'm concerned that the whole blowing hot then cold, the candle that burns the brightest burns out the fastest, etc. situation may be going on but I wanted some opinions before I overreact. We've been dating for about a month now, but I had met him a week or so prior to us dating. During that time, he spent a lot of it flirting with me and trying to ask me out on a date. At first I wasn't interested so I was abrupt with him, hoping that maybe he would leave me alone. That didn't work as he continued to flirt with me. I eventually decided to go on date with him, but mentally I still didn't want to pursue anything romantically. During our first two dates, he brought me flowers, candy, and paid for dinner. He told me that I was pretty and had a good sense of humor. He would also initiate small, brief text message conversations. I was still slightly distant to him, but eventually came around and developed interest in him after I got to know him better and made him aware of that. For the past week or so, he seems to have backed off somewhat. It seems like he isn't trying very hard to express interest in me. I can't really explain it. There aren't any more small gifts, which is fine and to be expected. But he isn't initiating the brief text message conversations anymore. If I initiate, he does respond. Also, I asked him today if he wanted to meet up at a cafe really quick later today because I have some brief free time but he said already had promised to do an errand for his best friend. Having said that, we are going out on a date Thursday and he's making the plans for that. He also told me that his best friend wants to me. As I mentioned, I can't really explain it. It's this weird vibe I'm getting that he's backing off and losing interest. Maybe I'm overreacting and now he's just getting comfortable because he knows that I'm interested in him. I dated a guy in the past who blew hot and then very cold, which hurt me greatly because I fell hard for him. Granted the guy did make a few very condescending remarks when we were dating that were signs that he wasn't interested, but hindsight is 20/20. The guy that I'm dating now hasn't said any of those things, thankfully. I have to admit that I am leery since I don't want that situation to happen again because I am falling for this guy. Does his behavior sound normal?
HeartOnSleeve Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Maybe the guy I am seeing is your guys best friend...haha. I personally think it's normal to get comfortable but after only a month...seems to fast to me. See how Thursday goes and try not to react until after that. He may have something going on in his life that you aren't aware of. Easier said then done...i know!
Author Eno Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 Haha, glad I'm not the only one... Should I change any of my behavior? Is there anything in particular that I should be looking out for from him?
HeartOnSleeve Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Defiantly not the only one! Nothing in particular but just see how comfortable you are around him and him around you on Thursday. It's hard but I would try and push the doubt you to the back of your mind and if you still get strange vibes on Thursday then you'll know where he's at. Listen to your gut that night and don't try and force anything. Enjoy the date and if it's like nothing has changed great and if you still feel funny about the way he is acting and treating you then I say back off a bit and maybe don't initiate all the contact. Let him put in the work. I'm there right now...but I'm not contacting him and seeing if he's going to reach out to me. I hate the waiting game! ughhh
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