Is she using sex to manipulate me to get married or not ?

[tintop]

After living together over the past year my fiance decides she no longer feels we should have sex because it is a sin. She decides to drop this on me while I was in the hospital recovering from a nerve disorder and I was trying to be affectionate towards her. She said we should be married first. Why she didn't explain this to me over a year ago is beyond. Since I had already proposed and given her a ring I said sure , we have to get a prenuptial agreement first. We both have gone through 2 divorces and both have pensions that an attorney would love to play with. She flat out said no way she's signing a prenuptial. I'

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51 and she's 44

so

this isn't our first rodeo. I'

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really pissed that she would even come up with something as crazy as this at a time when I'

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in bad health . I will make a complete recovery but it will take time. I should also mention that we did make love after I came home from hospital because I let her know how upset I was. She appeared to enjoy it.. I have not tried any advances since then because I'

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still pissed that she had the nerve to even come up with something like this. We are both Christians and knew it was a sin from the beginning but I'

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not getting married without a prenuptial and think it is very wrong for her to change up on me . Do you think she is using sex to try to manipulate me ?

[Lauriebell82]

What is the primary issue, the prenup or the sex? It's ironic that she is upset over something that you don't want to do and you are upset over something she doesn't want to do.

 

I think you guys need to talk about what is going on and come up with some sort of compromise.

[mitchell]

You're both two time marriage failures. The chance of your marriage being successful is probably less than 5%. Anyone in your situation would be crazy to not have a prenuptial agreement.

 

I can't speak to her religious convictions, but it does seem a bit hypocritical and convenient for her to suddenly decide that sex before marriage is a sin. She does appear to be using sex as a way to pressure you.

[tintop]

It just doesn't add up to me...I don't need the additional stress at this point in my life. I'm trying to recover from my illness and these changes in our relationship sure dont make me feel any better. I've decided to just be nice and focus on getting healthy then calling things off period. She's still walking around like nothing is wrong. If she has already said she's not signing prenup and Im not getting married without one why is she being nice and walking around like this was never even discussed

[norajane]

It just doesn't add up to me...I don't need the additional stress at this point in my life. I'm trying to recover from my illness and these changes in our relationship sure dont make me feel any better. I've decided to just be nice and focus on getting healthy then calling things off period. She's still walking around like nothing is wrong. If she has already said she's not signing prenup and Im not getting married without one why is she being nice and walking around like this was never even discussed

 

She probably thinks she "won" that argument and you won't push for a pre-nup. Or for sex.

 

Honestly, I'd break up with her, period. Not only the pre-nup issue, but the sudden decision that sex is a sin? Really? And what happens after you marry and she decides something else is a sin, like masturbation or birth control? Moreover, you're in the hospital and this is her choice of topics instead of your recovery? She does not care about your health, and there is NO guarantee she will start having sex with you again after marriage, pre-nup or not.