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Why be secretive about your marriage?


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Posted

This is strange, one day I had known this female friend for a few years actually, then one day I see her status as being "married", and then I sent her an email, saying I noticed she was married and congrats, she didn't reply.

 

I followed up with another inquiry, still no reply.

 

I finally caught up with a friend of hers, and asked her about that, and she said, "yeah she's married now" and apparently she's a very secretive person

 

I dunno, but that sounds like VERY strange behavior, when weddings are more public or than something private.

 

Anyone find this behavior not normal, she ashamed of her husband or just isn't thoughtfulu of her friends?

Posted

Maybe you just aren't as good of friends as you originally thought. She changed her facebook status to married so she can't be that private about it...

 

Sounds like she just doesn't want to talk to you about it.

Posted
Maybe you just aren't as good of friends as you originally thought. She changed her facebook status to married so she can't be that private about it...

 

Sounds like she just doesn't want to talk to you about it.

 

This.

 

Why did you send her a message about it? And then follow up with a second "inquiry"? That's just weird.

Posted

I dont see the big deal with what OP did.

 

Someone says congrats on a wedding, then its simple to just reply with a thanks.

 

The other friend also mentioned the girl is quite secretive.

Posted
I dont see the big deal with what OP did.

 

Someone says congrats on a wedding, then its simple to just reply with a thanks.

 

The other friend also mentioned the girl is quite secretive.

 

I don't think what OP did is a big deal. And I think the girl not responding isn't a big deal either. It is what it is.

Posted

It could be a coincidence, but I've noticed that couples who keep their relationship very much private, tend to have the most stable relationships.

Posted
This is strange, one day I had known this female friend for a few years actually, then one day I see her status as being "married", and then I sent her an email, saying I noticed she was married and congrats, she didn't reply.

 

I followed up with another inquiry, still no reply.

 

I finally caught up with a friend of hers, and asked her about that, and she said, "yeah she's married now" and apparently she's a very secretive person

 

I dunno, but that sounds like VERY strange behavior, when weddings are more public or than something private.

 

Anyone find this behavior not normal, she ashamed of her husband or just isn't thoughtfulu of her friends?

 

Hm, what you've described doesn't really strike me as anything resembling "secretive." In fact, announcing it on FB is the opposite of that, as another poster noted. Sounds like she just didn't have a big expensive bash of a wedding, and this is how she chose to tell people she didn't invite that she's now married.

 

I don't see how that could possibly have anything to do with being ashamed of her husband...??? That is what seems very strange to me.

 

As to why she didn't respond to your emails - can't say, of course, but it is possible that she doesn't consider you that close of a friend. Or maybe she's got a lot of emails like yours to respond to. Who knows. But it seems like an awfully big leap to assume that there's something nefarious in this, like shame or a lack of thoughtfulness (where does that idea come from, anyway??) Lots of people don't get around to responding to emails quickly; I guess that could be considered thoughtless, but we all do it all the time. So what's the big deal?

Posted

Sounds like she's not interested in a friendship with you, and that is why she didn't respond. If she did consider you to be a friend, but was just not wanting to talk about the marriage, she would have at least acknowledged your question and gave you some type of response, even if it were a vague one. But to ignore you completely shows she doesn't think of you as a friend of hers. Sorry, but that's how I would interpret that behavior to mean.

Posted

You're one of those guy acquaintances so many women often keep in the background for those "just in case" moments.

 

Basically you're there, but you're not close or important...you should probably cut your losses and delete yourself/unfriend at this point.

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Posted

Well, you ever hear how someone JUST starts dating someone, and you don't want your friends knowing about it JUST yet, just so you won't jinx the prospect.

 

Could one draw a similarity to these?

  • Author
Posted

Turns out, she was living with her Ex-husband, wasn't able to find anyone else worthy of dating, and said "screw it, let's re-marry!"

 

Interesting.

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