emily_m Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 I wish I could feel as sexy as I did 5+ years ago, or have as much sexual confidence as I did then! Although I never slept around or had one night stands, I used to have so much 'fun' with the guys I was seeing, and looking back, I was a bit of a seductress always looking to please and to be pleased. I'm now 27, attractive, have a good body and I am very confident in general. I should feel more sexy if anything, not less!! Over the years I have taken a step back from the more casual kind of relationship, in the hope that I might meet someone I could have more commitment with. That hasn't happened, and I so I now kind of feel like I've lost my sexiness. I have almost lost my need to impress and therefore am not as experimental or keen to 'put on a show' when in the sack. The downside of not having 'flings' anymore is definitely that it results in less sex! It's been 7 months and is like a distant memory I think in general I feel less confident in relationships than in flings, and so I link it to that it certain ways. I don't know what to do, I really miss the old me (in this way), and the excitement and surprises it used to bring! Although I don’t want to go back to having flings, as they can also have the opposite effect and make you feel worthless. I am dating someone at the min, and although we have a good laugh together and kiss at the end of each date...that's about as far as it goes. I enjoy initiating sex when I have already slept with someone, but I don't want to make the very first move. And the longer he takes to do it, the more interest I lose. I need a man to be a man and take control! Now that does make me feel sexy. But there don't seem to be many of those guys around anymore?? Maybe they've been snapped up from singledom leaving only the other kind to contend with.......
goldengirl11 Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 (edited) I wish I could feel as sexy as I did 5+ years ago, or have as much sexual confidence as I did then! Although I never slept around or had one night stands, I used to have so much 'fun' with the guys I was seeing, and looking back, I was a bit of a seductress always looking to please and to be pleased. I'm now 27, attractive, have a good body and I am very confident in general. I should feel more sexy if anything, not less!! Over the years I have taken a step back from the more casual kind of relationship, in the hope that I might meet someone I could have more commitment with. That hasn't happened, and I so I now kind of feel like I've lost my sexiness. I have almost lost my need to impress and therefore am not as experimental or keen to 'put on a show' when in the sack. The downside of not having 'flings' anymore is definitely that it results in less sex! It's been 7 months and is like a distant memory I think in general I feel less confident in relationships than in flings, and so I link it to that it certain ways. I don't know what to do, I really miss the old me (in this way), and the excitement and surprises it used to bring! Although I don’t want to go back to having flings, as they can also have the opposite effect and make you feel worthless. I am dating someone at the min, and although we have a good laugh together and kiss at the end of each date...that's about as far as it goes. I enjoy initiating sex when I have already slept with someone, but I don't want to make the very first move. And the longer he takes to do it, the more interest I lose. I need a man to be a man and take control! Now that does make me feel sexy. But there don't seem to be many of those guys around anymore?? Maybe they've been snapped up from singledom leaving only the other kind to contend with....... I enjoyed reading your post and feel that I am in a similar position to you. Although it sounds as if you have been a fair bit more confident than myself in the past! I am 33 and don't really have many single female friends to socialise with, which tbh can make me feel a bit lonely and that I am missing out. I am also currently out of work again and feel that I have lost my sexiness on the whole, when I feel that I should really be getting a move on to find a suitable long term partner. It sucks that my younger (and slimmer) sister-in-law who's 27 (although wouldn't say is prettier) is soon to be moving in with her bf of a year. I'm sure that she does have a better social life than me (judging by her pics on facebook), but nevertheless I'm not feeling totally happy with myself, in fact I don't feel myself anymore, and would appreciate some advice too. Btw I live alone. Edited February 25, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author emily_m Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Hey golden girl...well, it seems as though no one has any advice for us! Lol. With reference to your sis in law, I think it's all about confidence, not looks, and whether you can fulfill all of your partners emotional needs. Also, I would bear in mind that facebook can be very misleading, so try not to let it get you down when it may seem as though everyone else has a great life. If they did, I doubt they'd have the time, or feel the need, to post every detail on a social networking site! I love my friends to bits, but NONE of them are single - how crazy is that! I often wonder why society is so focused on couples, and many people feel they need to ask the 'reason' you are single! Very annoying. My advice to you? Take an exercise class - it releases endorphins and is likely to improve your mood and make you feel better about yourself, as well as adding a social value to your life. And I'm not sure what you do for a living, but I have found that work has been a great way to socialise and believe it or not, to meet men. I'm all about experiences in life and am currently trying to plan my next adventure - I can't let my coupled up friends hold me back, so I have to find other ways to travel and socialise. Finally, I am still dating the guy I mentioned, and yet again, it has not progressed any further. I actually think I make him nervous, as he is always the first to pull away from a kiss and will barely even touch me. Strange...he seems confident in general and we get on really well. I must say, this one has me very confused. Although, maybe he is thinking the same as me and is waiting for me to make the move! God I hate dating...............................!
Author emily_m Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Not exactly...I like nice guys...nice guys who are confident and passionate. Nice guys who are shy and wary don't have the same appeal
Author emily_m Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Nah no religious issues...and he's had a few long term relationships that have ended due to his commitment issues. My theory is that he's not sure how to read me, so isn't sure whether I actually want him to make a move. I try to make it obvious to him at the end of the date when we kiss, but i always get the feeling i make him nervous and then he always pulls away first (due to these nerves, i think). His 'nerves', or whatever's going on, are a huge turn off for me, so I don't try to pursue it any further. But next time, I'm actually gonna ask him if I make him nervous and if so, why. I'll do it in a light hearted way so it won't be awkward. Can't think what else to do?
Author emily_m Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 p.s. I feel like I'm back in school or something!
threebyfate Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 *scratches head in confusion* You have a guy who won't take it to the next level, who also has commitment issues and now, you're feeling less sexy because of this? I'm missing the logical flow between any of this. If you're not in an exclusive relationship, start dating other guys. It's time to fly the coop.
Author emily_m Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Lol no, that's not why. The dating thing was just a bit of background info as to my current relationship status... As for dating other guys, I would happily do so should I meet any in the near future.
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