Awarth Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Since not many people knows of my story, i shall just give a quick summary again. Ex gf of 5 yrs left me for another guy 4 months ago. it comes as a shock as there was no warnings and i really treat her lyk a princess. Not been initiating contact but she will call me or msg every 2 - 3 wks or so. So anyway, i ran into my ex on the bus today, talk to her for a bit. during the conversation, she was laughing a lot, and she was using that cute tone like last time before the BU to talk to me. I notice her couple ring on her finger and ask her casually about it "whether this is the ring he bought for her", she just give me a smile and nod. then i veer off and talk about other things. and throughout the journey, i touched the tip of her hair, and tease her by lightly touching her chin. She did not back off and just laugh about it. so i really wanna ask, is there still a chance for me to win her back? i have been thinking hard and i realized i still want this girl in my life and i dont really blame her for wat she did. i guess she is going thru wat they call G.I.G.S now. there have been some signs that shows that she is not really happy with that guy nuw..well, if what she tell me is true, which i believe it is, here goes; 1) there was once, after 3 wks of NC, she told me that she misses me and has been dreaming of me. 2) she called me "darling" playfully once. 3) around 2 months into her new relationship, she told me that no one treat her as good as i do. she has her first fight with that guy. 4) on valentine's day, she SMS me at 1 am in the morning, wishing me happy v-day. then she tell me she is sorry about all the things that she had done to me. then go on to tell me that her bf say alot of mean things to her and so she was crying right then. 5) she always sound happy and relieved when talking to me on the phone. (i know a lot of people will say that she is just using me for comforting, so pls don't comment on this, i get it~) 6) (this may be a minor one ), her bf relationship status is "complicated", i know this does not mean much...but seems like she still not gone over to him totally. 7) she seems to be unhappy and post a number of emotional blog-post. so basically that is it. its been 4 months, every time we talk, she is always the one initiating it. i Know this maybe what others call breadcrumbs or she is just looking for a friendly face to talk to. But i really do not hate her. i accepted the break up, and i am prepare for the future where she is gone forever (believe me, i do...i used to cry out loud on the bed whenever i tink of this..but nuw i am okie with it.) So, i really want to know, is what i am doing now the correct way to win her back? i know i had to let her miss me, so i was not contacting her in anyway, just letting her call me. i don't stalk her around and try to heal myself (been going to gym). i know i have to be patient. i have to wait for her honeymoon stage to be over first right? then do i contact her more? Pls, i really love this girl very much. she is not perfect, but she is the right girl for me. I fully acknowledge that there are other girls out there for me, but i really just want this girl back. can someone pls tell me if i am walking the correct path? thank you very much.
Author Awarth Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 oh right, and she is still using my pet name whenever she calls me..yup yup..
Philosoraptor Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 She seems very confused so proceed with caution. If you want to try again you need to analyze the issues that led to the end of the relationship. Then ask her what she saw as the issues and ask her what the two of you could do to stop those issues from coming back.
Frank13 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 All breadcrumbs. You are her security blanket when things aren't going well with the new guy. You are reading way too much into what she says. If there are 1000 ways for a woman to show interest, she can show 999 and still not want to get back with you. If she wanted to be back with you, she would let you know. You might be her back up plan but I wouldn't count on it.
wilsonx Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 All breadcrumbs. You are her security blanket when things aren't going well with the new guy. Its called a friendship. Marriages are safety nets and security blankets. There's a quote that I enjoy, "If you can't handle someone at their worst, you dont deserve them at their best" As for the original question, you really cant mess up her coming back. You can chase her, you can go NC, etc Figure out whats best for you to do that you can do with a clear mind and choose that route
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