ech Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 My bf wants to book a trip to florida for him and his son to do Universal and visit family and stuff for a week. My issue is, I tried to book a trip for me and my son in june to go to florida (my sons gf lives there) and he insisted he come! So why can he go alone, but I have to take him! WTH? AND he's the one with an ex gf down there. I asked if he was going to see her, he said f**k no. So am I the crazy one here?
Emilia Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 You don't HAVE to do anything. If you don't want to take your bf in June then don't. Or is the issue that you want to go with him on this trip and he isn't letting you?
Author ech Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 He basically invited himself, he said "oh you were just gonna go without me" then started planning it. So its booked with him going. I do not want to impose on him and his sons time. I just dont understand how its fair in his eyes.
Emilia Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 He basically invited himself, he said "oh you were just gonna go without me" then started planning it. So its booked with him going. I do not want to impose on him and his sons time. I just dont understand how its fair in his eyes. Ask him? There are two types of people: those with positive interpersonal approach ('she wants my company I'm sure') and those with negative interpersonal approach ('I don't want to impose my company on him'). Only he can answer your question, I'm not really sure why you haven't asked him yet.
stillafool Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 He basically invited himself, he said "oh you were just gonna go without me" then started planning it. So its booked with him going. I do not want to impose on him and his sons time. I just dont understand how its fair in his eyes. Have you talked to him about it? If you really want to go tell him so.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 I'll never understand why women allow this behavior yet then complain about the unbalance of power, or equality in the relationship as a whole. These are the moments where you should stand the firmest and demand answers, and equality really. If he get's to go alone with his son then you get to go alone with your son on vacation. You just don't let him make plans without you then insist on intervening on yours. Don't women realize this is what most women allow and behavior like this is what allows that unbalanced relationship? Now in his mind there's a double standard, a double standard that throughout the relationship gets shaped and formed by these types of actions. When you "force" a man to make decisions with equality, he might not like it at first and even bitch about it...but then he has to change his mentality and respect you more as an equal partner than somewhat beneath him that he has the authority to control and manipulate anyway he chooses. If your kid bitches about something do you just let him have it or do you have to sometimes tell them no so that the learn that they just can't bitch to get what they want? Women have to realize their habits and expectations don't get met by their ideals, but by their actions on how they defend themselves and insist upon in during their relationship...furthermore in the end men will respect you much more for it, because most women fold and do what we want, and inside men lose a little respect for you secretly, each time that happens. Of course don't expect a man to ever admit that. And plus, you had your own inclination to bring up the ex, you should trust your gut If you feel there is anything going on there, because you're probably right. Especially If he defends you bringing that up fiercely. 1
Emilia Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 And plus, you had your own inclination to bring up the ex, you should trust your gut If you feel there is anything going on there, because you're probably right. Especially If he defends you bringing that up fiercely. That might be an assumption too far but I agree with the rest.
only_quotes_jerks Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Women have to realize their habits and expectations don't get met by their ideals, but by their actions on how they defend themselves and insist upon in during their relationship...furthermore in the end men will respect you much more for it, because most women fold and do what we want, and inside men lose a little respect for you secretly, each time that happens. Of course don't expect a man to ever admit that. Perhaps a given man won't because he doesn't tally up "respect points" for some kind of one-sided worth judgment game against his partner? That's some messed up ****, bro. This is a pretty simple logistics problem we have here. You're right, she needs to assert herself. I'm not sure why you felt the need to bring another 3.5 billion people into this discussion.
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