lifeasiknowit Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 (edited) I went out on a date with a guy. It was the first date and we really hit it off. He's super smart and succesful, and attractive. I find it intimidating how successful he is, and the fact he comes from a well off family. I grew up lower-middle class but I have a degree, a full time job, so I shouldn't feel like I have nothing to offer. Also, he messages me the next day after the first date to set up the second date, so I think he likes me. My main concern is that I've never been in a relationship before and I'm 28. This will eventually come up if he ever asks about my dating history. I'm afraid he'll go running for the hills once he finds out. The reason I have never been in a relationship is because I used to be extremely shy around guys. Even when I was asked out, I froze up and didn't know how to act. Now I'm coming out of my shell and have been dating. I don't know how to handle the situation if this ever comes up. If he likes me now, will he change his mind after knowing about my non-existent relationship/sexual history? This might happen on our second date, since usually you learn a lot more about the other person at that stage. Edited February 21, 2012 by lifeasiknowit
Nathan_Explosion Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 A lot will depend on what he's looking for. If he's looking for some kind of sexual relationship without much commitment he probably will lose interest. If he likes you and wants to get serious it probably won't be that much of an issue. 1
TheFinalWord Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 (edited) I went out on a date with a guy. It was the first date and we really hit it off. He's super smart and succesful, and attractive. I find it intimidating how successful he is, and the fact he comes from a well off family. I grew up lower-middle class but I have a degree, a full time job, so I shouldn't feel like I have nothing to offer. Also, he messages me the next day after the first date to set up the second date, so I think he likes me. My main concern is that I've never been in a relationship before and I'm 28. This will eventually come up if he ever asks about my dating history. I'm afraid he'll go running for the hills once he finds out. The reason I have never been in a relationship is because I used to be extremely shy around guys. Even when I was asked out, I froze up and didn't know how to act. Now I'm coming out of my shell and have been dating. I don't know how to handle the situation if this ever comes up. If he likes me now, will he change his mind after knowing about my non-existent relationship/sexual history? My advice is not to worry about it. If he likes you it won't be a deal breaker. It wouldn't be for me. Don't put him on a pedastal and consider yourself inferior in any way. That will be much harder on the relationship than your dating history. You are trying to come out of your shell. To me that is admirable and I would think highly of you as opposed to someone who just is stuck in their past and never budges. You are trying to overcome your demons. Hey that's pretty cool in my book. If he's a descent guy, he'll think the same thing There's lots of posts on here right now about too many partners, not enough partners, and all the rest. Basically, you should feel condemned for your past. No thanks. Life is too short for that! No one is accountable to another human being for their past. We're each only accountable to God. That's it (and the government if you break a law). If another human being doesn't like it, too freakin bad. Who is this man or any other man or woman to judge you for your past? Because he's successful? Let me tell you at the end of the day we come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. When it comes to growing old together and having a meaningful relationship, all this extra stuff is minimized. He has financial success. Guess what? It doesn't make him any better than the guy living under the bridge. Degrees are just credentials. I have quite a collection myself, but so what. I'm no better than a guy who has his CDL. I could never operate a big rig! He has good looks. Nice! Great for him. But that's genetics for the most part, which isn't anything he "earned". And obviously he thinks you are too, so don't feel intimidated Check this link! Edited February 21, 2012 by TheFinalWord
Author lifeasiknowit Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 Thank you so much. What you wrote put things in perspective. I think he does like me because he laughed at my jokes, complimented me, and said he wanted to see me again at the end of the first date. I have heard of people having great first dates, and then for some reason the second date bombs. Why does that happen so much? Do people present their best self on the first date, and then loosen up too much on the second?
TheFinalWord Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Thank you so much. What you wrote put things in perspective. I think he does like me because he laughed at my jokes, complimented me, and said he wanted to see me again at the end of the first date. I have heard of people having great first dates, and then for some reason the second date bombs. Why does that happen so much? Do people present their best self on the first date, and then loosen up too much on the second? You're welcome You have a lot to offer in a relationship. I think all of the compliments he gave you were very true about you! Especially if he wants to see you again! Well there could be a lot of reasons why a second date doesn't go right. Like you suggested, people are on their best behavior on a first date. It does take time to get to know someone. The main thing is just be yourself. If it's the right person for you it will work itself out. Focus on having a good time with him and enjoy his company
Recommended Posts