Jane2011 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 If the guy's between 27 and 35, which is the age range I date, I'd say anywhere from 4 to 15 is reasonable to me, assuming he's been single most of that time. (And 15 is really pretty high to me, but I'd accept it without saying he's a goddamn man whore, lol). I prefer to be with someone who has some experience. "How much" can vary, but having slept with four women before me, at least, seems enough. I've slept with 11 men, and I'm in my thirties (and have never been married, though I had one long-term relationship of five years). I started having sex when I was 20. Also, #s 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 all came in the past year and a half (I've been on a rampage post-breakup of my five-year relationship). As recently as May 2010, I'd had only 6 sex partners.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Not true but I don't really mind the search and don't need to bitch about my search for a relationship. Of course you don't have a need to bitch. And I'm not surprised that you don't mind the search either. If I was in your situation I wouldn't be complaining either. lol somedude you bitch about a double standard then totally through another double standard right back in a girl with experience's face. Sorry, you're going to have to specify because I've said a lot in this thread. You need to seriously work on yourself dude. Stop pursuing women and get rid of the demons that are living inside your head. Whether that's through therapy or another avenue they need to be addressed asap. The demons are caused by my failures. That's all I'm going to say about that. It is easy for most women to get sex. It is MUCH more difficult to get a lasting relationship. It's tough for everyone to find a good match. That may be true, but I don't think it comes close to the difficulty of the average man. And no, the couple of guys in this thread who get around a lot aren't average. But for someone younger it could be different reasons, like their attractiveness, maturity or their willingness/non-willingness to have sex. I know when I was 18-19 guys always just tried to have sex with me as soon as they met me, my husband was the first guy I came across interested in a relationship, and the only one who still wanted to talk to me after the sex. Now if you consider I got hit on every single time I left the house no exceptions. So you are saying that you've only met one man who didn't want to have sex with you right away?
Titania22 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 So you are saying that you've only met one man who didn't want to have sex with you right away? No i am not saying he didn't want` to have sex with me right away, I am saying he was still interested in pursuing a relationship with me after sex. Since the question was "how hard is it for women to find a relationship?" And I assume you are only really interested in under 30yr old's data points. The point being it was still hard at 18-19 even if i was attractive.
Jane2011 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Dude, once you start having sex...your mind opens up about this whole numbers game. Im no whore, but Im no prude either. But I understand where you are coming from. People usually judge others sexual behavior based on the standard of their own behavior. When I was a virgin I couldnt stand that my first gf wasnt one too. She had a few guys before me. As my number grew, and as I hooked up more, I cared less about certain number ranges. But today I am generally comfortable knowing a girl is within my range....shes not a slut, and not a prude either. I agree. I used to be very concerned about my number, wanting to make sure it stayed reasonably low so that I could always claim to be "a good girl." I was in single digits for a long time. After the demise of my long-term relationship, I was like...bring on the sex. I even told a friend I didn't care how high my number went. (And I didn't and don't). Of course, I am not indiscriminate. I need to be attracted to the person physically, mentally, and interpersonally to have sex with him, even if it's just casual sex. With that being the case, I don't have sex constantly (because coming by all of that isn't easy or a given). But...if a series of four guys came into my life who I was attracted to mentally, physically, and interpersonally, I'd have no qualms about having sex with all of them even if that meant my number goes yet four more in a short time span. So be it...
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Of course you don't have a need to bitch. And I'm not surprised that you don't mind the search either. If I was in your situation I wouldn't be complaining either. ? Stop playing the victim. It isn't appealing. I have went from being unattractive and completely unbeknownst to guys to working on myself physically and emotionally so stop acting like I am here turning down guys left and right. I don't have to complain, because I am actively making progress in finding a relationship. Who complains when they are actually trying? My situation wouldn't seem as great if you knew what it was. 2
insertnamehere Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 If we are going by oral sex as well, then you need to give me time to count. Let's be honest, there are women who would lose their **** if you said it didn't count. Perhaps this warrants its own thread, but have I been a fool to look for relationships this whole time instead of looking for casual sex? In my time I have learned a truth: there is no such thing as casual sex with women. Casual sex occurs because women hope something will pan out. Women will participate in it against all reason and all statistical probability. Every woman when she has sex with a man believes that she's special and thinks that if she can just get the formula right, she can lock him down. And when it fails, as it often does, women shrug it off and wonder aloud, "Are there no good men in the world?"
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 No i am not saying he didn't want` to have sex with me right away, I am saying he was still interested in pursuing a relationship with me after sex. So then he was the only guy who wanted to have a relationship after you slept with him? Now I'm wondering why you were sleeping with guys before a relationship was established. It doesn't sound like men were in short supply when you were young. Since the question was "how hard is it for women to find a relationship?" And I assume you are only really interested in under 30yr old's data points. The point being it was still hard at 18-19 even if i was attractive. It almost sounds like it was hard for you because of your judgment calls.
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Let's be honest, there are women who would lose their **** if you said it didn't count. In my time I have learned a truth: there is no such thing as casual sex with women. Casual sex occurs because women hope something will pan out. Women will participate in it against all reason and all statistical probability. Every woman when she has sex with a man believes that she's special and thinks that if she can just get the formula right, she can lock him down. And when it fails, as it often does, women shrug it off and wonder aloud, "Are there no good men in the world?" Not true, stop generalizing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Perhaps this warrants its own thread, but have I been a fool to look for relationships this whole time instead of looking for casual sex? That seems to be the message I get from this thread... No. Why would the fact that some people are fine with casual sex make you change your own values on that matter? Live and let live. You aren't alone.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Stop playing the victim. It isn't appealing. Your first mistake is thinking that I say what I do in order to be appealing. If I wanted to use LS as a dating service, my posts here would be very different. I have went from being unattractive and completely unbeknownst to guys to working on myself physically and emotionally so stop acting like I am here turning down guys left and right. I don't know your past. Lets not forget that you're the one who is getting on my case about what I said, that wasn't even directed at you. I don't have to complain, because I am actively making progress in finding a relationship. Who complains when they are actually trying? The people who are trying and can't get the results they desire.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 No. Why would the fact that some people are fine with casual sex make you change your own values on that matter? Live and let live. You aren't alone. Principles are handy and I like mine, but they don't do much good if they make you end up alone. Values don't exactly make good company.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Principles are handy and I like mine, but they don't do much good if they make you end up alone. Values don't exactly make good company. Well, you still need to be true to yourself. Otherwise, you won't have much worthwhile to offer someone else.
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Dude, appealing can mean more than what you are referring. You know I didn't mean it in a dating prospect way. You just told me I shouldn't be bitching since you must think you are the only one with problems and allowed to bitch. Ok have fun with that. G/n Like I said I am making progress and haven't been seeing results. Brb going to go bitch now.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Well, you still need to be true to yourself. Otherwise, you won't have much worthwhile to offer someone else. Actually, that's essentially what I've been thinking for a while. And pretty much answers my question.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Dude, appealing can mean more than what you are referring. You know I didn't mean it in a dating prospect way. No, that's exactly what I thought you meant. You just told me I shouldn't be bitching since you must think you are the only one with problems and allowed to bitch. Ok have fun with that. G/n Like I said I am making progress and haven't been seeing results. Brb going to go bitch now. As I said, I don't know what your problems are. From what I can tell, you're only on this forum to have fun and joke around. This is the first time I can remember that I've seen you be serious.
Titania22 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 So then he was the only guy who wanted to have a relationship after you slept with him? Now I'm wondering why you were sleeping with guys before a relationship was established. It doesn't sound like men were in short supply when you were young. It almost sounds like it was hard for you because of your judgment calls. I was naive, and I said No alot, (I learnt to say no pretty quickly) enough to be in that 2-4 partners things the other guy mentioned earlier. The guys just fell off when I said no. I wasn't taught anything about dating somedude, i went to girls schools, the internet wasn't around and only programmers had home computers. Both my parents were virgins when they married. Where was I supposed to learn about this stuff? No one prepared me for being hit on all the time, or how to deal with it, and my girlfriends were unattractive by comparison and just as clueless.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 One thing I need to point out, is that the only time I would ever ask what a girls number is, is if she comes across as really inexperienced. Simply because I'd be curious and expect zero or a very low number, and be totally fine with it. I wouldn't ask in any other situation.
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 No if you check way back in my history you may find some of my more serious posts but I have always kept to myself in that aspect so I am not one to ask for help but I have got tons of help on this site. I am more here for the jokes now because I found myself bitching and not living. People can only give me so much advice over and over here. I guess the fact that you are still bitching frustrates me truthfully. I wish you will get out and live. Ls is great but you can't live thru it. You need to stop playing the victim, your life isnt that bad. My screwed up perception of relationships is from witnessing a divorce between my parents that went on for years and child hood molestation , which ls has helped me get over and seek help for. Why are you the victim, because you are scared of rejection. Please stop it and step away from the keyboard to live your life.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 One thing I need to point out, is that the only time I would ever ask what a girls number is, is if she comes across as really inexperienced. Simply because I'd be curious and expect zero or a very low number, and be totally fine with it. I wouldn't ask in any other situation. I probably wouldn't even ask in that situation. I don't need to know, I will just assume it's a low number. In return I would expect that she not ask mine.
insertnamehere Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Not true, stop generalizing. That argument would be more convincing from someone whose profile pic wasn't the Forever Alone guy from 4chan.
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 That argument would be more convincing from someone whose profile pic wasn't the Forever Alone guy from 4chan. Am I not allowed to have a sense of humor? Oh jeez
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 I was naive, and I said No alot, (I learnt to say no pretty quickly) enough to be in that 2-4 partners things the other guy mentioned earlier. The guys just fell off when I said no. That's fine then. Somebody who had a lot of options should feel like they have to say yes. I wasn't taught anything about dating somedude, i went to girls schools, the internet wasn't around and only programmers had home computers. Both my parents were virgins when they married. Where was I supposed to learn about this stuff? No one prepared me for being hit on all the time, or how to deal with it, and my girlfriends were unattractive by comparison and just as clueless. It doesn't sound like you did that bad. No if you check way back in my history you may find some of my more serious posts but I have always kept to myself in that aspect so I am not one to ask for help but I have got tons of help on this site. I am more here for the jokes now because I found myself bitching and not living. People can only give me so much advice over and over here. I understand that. I guess the fact that you are still bitching frustrates me truthfully. I wish you will get out and live. Ls is great but you can't live thru it. You need to stop playing the victim, your life isnt that bad. My screwed up perception of relationships is from witnessing a divorce between my parents that went on for years and child hood molestation , which ls has helped me get over and seek help for. Why are you the victim, because you are scared of rejection. Please stop it and step away from the keyboard to live your life. I'm still bitching because I haven't gotten any results! Sorry that my pathetic life is making you frustrated. I'll try to be more considerate from now on.
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 That's fine then. Somebody who had a lot of options should feel like they have to say yes. It doesn't sound like you did that bad. I understand that. I'm still bitching because I haven't gotten any results! Sorry that my pathetic life is making you frustrated. I'll try to be more considerate from now on. Aww boo woo, I am sorry that I actually want to see you do better. My bad .
Titania22 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 It doesn't sound like you did that bad. Not Bad! I married a pyschopath. Seriously, I wish someone had been looking out for me in those days.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Aww boo woo, I am sorry that I actually want to see you do better. My bad . Huh? That's not how I took it at all. Ugh, so much of the message is lost in this medium. Smile, what are we even arguing about? Not Bad! I married a pyschopath. Seriously, I wish someone had been looking out for me in those days. LOL! Never mind then. Titania I don't know what to say anymore.
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