rach24680 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Me and my boyfriend have been throught some hard times, wev been together 4 years, hes cheated before and i forgave him and we have been great ever since, apart from he never seems to want sex with me unless hes drunk.... Recently he wouldnt let me use his laptop and was getting all defensive, which made me think he was hiding something, i know its wrong but when he was in the shower i had a look at his email (i know for a fact he checkes my messages on my phone) and hes been subsribing to porn sites and has been on internet dating websites and he's Saved pics of half naked girls!! I havent said anything to him because i dont know if im Over reacting being so upset, i dont mind the porn too much but dating websites?? Any advice really appreciated!!
veggirl Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 No you are not over reacting. If you are still with this loser, you are UNDER reacting. Have some self respect and LEAVE him. he probably never stopped cheating on you He is lying to you, hiding things, and trying to make you feel bad for it. Pretty classic, actually. I hope you leave. 1
Follower Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Well while i agree on part with the above post i wonder why he is on the dating websites... Now only when drunk for sex is very suspicious is he coming home drunk or are you out together?
Author rach24680 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 We usually go out together, i really dont think hes cheating on me, and i know he loves me and i love him too, im not dumb though, i know somethings dodgy and i dont know how to go about saying something to him about him visiting dating websites?
oldguy Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Can you say dysfunctional relationship; Together 4 short years, he's already cheated, lost interest in you sexually, (unless drunk), I'm guessing the two of you don't have much of a romantic life as well & you don't trust one anther to the point where you feel justified having to check his emails because your sure he checks yours. WTH!? Imagine being married to one another for 10 years with a couple of kids. Is this really what it comes down too & if so have you always thought so little of yourself. I know, he's such a great guy though. So great in fact that your willing to tolerate cheating, spying & his general lack of interest in you. And all that in just 4 years. Of course if you just wait it out a little longer things will change, NOT. And what about you, will you change, will you suddenly wake up some day with a healthy amount of self esteem? Even if everything else was fine here you would need to work on the relationship. Relationships don't work on cruise control.
Author rach24680 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 I am definately willing to work on the relationship, i always have been and so has he. i just dont want to accuse him of joining these dating sites while hes been with me if he joined them before he got with me and theyre just sending him emails because hes 'a member'. im not making excuses, if i find out hes done it while hesbeen with me then il definately get rid. I dont know how to approach him on the matter as i have beeb sneaking around on his emails, hel be so angry..
Zahara Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 (edited) I am definately willing to work on the relationship, i always have been and so has he. i just dont want to accuse him of joining these dating sites while hes been with me if he joined them before he got with me and theyre just sending him emails because hes 'a member'. im not making excuses, if i find out hes done it while hesbeen with me then il definately get rid. I dont know how to approach him on the matter as i have beeb sneaking around on his emails, hel be so angry.. I didn't know that working on a relationship meant subscribing to porn sites, getting on dating websites, having sex only when he is drunk and saving pictures of naked women. He can deactivate his profile. Simple. No more emails of potential women sent to him. Stop making excuses for him. Yuck. And who wants to have sex with someone when they only want to have it with you when they're drunk. He has to be intoxicated to "enjoy" you? Makes me cringe. Should make you cringe too. This is love? Hmm...I must have been looking at this all wrong. Get your self-respect back. Edited February 21, 2012 by Zahara
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