Joffrey Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 (edited) Hi everybody, I have a situation… Well, I had a friend, very good one, he was dating a really nice girl, Kate (also a friend of mine). I liked her very much, but she was my friend’s girlfriend so I didn’t do anything… Well they were dating for 2 years and last summer I and both of them went for an internship to foreign country… The trick was, that I was assign to cardiology, my friend to gastroenterology and Kate was assign to cardiology with me as well… Me and Kate, we have always been always good friends, but spending every day together, mornings, afternoons… Basically all day… We grew closer… I didn’t tell her that I started to like more than a friend, because I was afraid of rejection, well she was dating my friend, so if she would not feel the same way I could lose two friends… But few months later me and few friends went out (including Kate) and we were drinking a bit, and suddenly I was having a discussion with Kate… She told me she likes me in a different way (her words: not like a brother)… so I told her I like her too… after a while my friend broke up with her… later we started dating… she didn’t want to make it official until now, because she wanted to stay friend with her ex (my friend) and didn’t want him to hate her… So, now we are dating, but… She has an issue… She thinks (she told me), she is afraid that I am going to break up with her as soon as I get to know her better… She said, she has been through a hard break up, she was crying a lot and she doesn’t want to feel like that again, so she is keeping distance between us, so when I break up with her, she will not be as crashed as she was before… I told her I don’t want to break up with her, it’s true, I don’t want to, but she thinks otherwise (she thinks in the future I will change my mind)… She said it is just temporary(distance keeping)... She said, later when she will stop being afraid, she will not keep distance… My problem is, that this keeping distance is bothering me… For example: I asked her to go with me to Rome for a weekend – she said no, it’s too soon, we’ll go other time… I asked her to go skiing with me to mountains for a few days – no, too soon, later I’ll go, but not now… I had problem getting her to go with me for a Valentine dinner, because “it's too romantic”… fortunately it ended good… she explained me this “distance keeping thing” after valentine dinner, we talked and she promised to keep less distance between us, but she doesn’t want to go for skiing anyway… My question is: Is it too much I’m asking of her (not to keep distance and spend more time with me)…??? Is it too soon for such a trips (it’s been 2 months since we started dating in secret, now its 1 week official dating - publicly) Should I push her (insist) or should I not put too much pressure… Thank you for your advice... Joffrey Edited February 20, 2012 by Joffrey
here4her Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 The fact you actually moved into anything surprises me. I wouldn't push, It just became "un-public" let things go slow and steady. Go at her pace, but keep a guard up she is just out of a relationship.
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