share your thoughts

[prajum]

Hello,

 

I'm 25 years and I've been with my long term gf for over 5 years now. She's very loyal to me and loves me so much. I love her and care for her and am happy when she's around. She's also my best friend and I shared everything and trusted her 100%, more than anyone. I honestly can't imagine life without her. We broke up once not too long ago because I felt that I wasn't ready for marriage but I felt so empty afterwards and I ended up going back with her after several months. And when we did, I felt so happy and glad. Although I still feel that I'm not 100% ready for marriage.

 

A while back I met another girl, and I instantly have a crush on her. In the past, I also had a crush on this other girl and we became close but nothing happened in the end because I didn't really make a move. This time it's happened again. I just keep thinking about this other girl, and out of curiosity I finally texted her and I ended up having dinner with her.

 

I've only had two relationships so far including with my current gf, could this be the reason I'm still curious about other girls. I wonder if I do this because I'm just curious and not ready to commit, or is it because I don't really love my current gf, or both? I also can't stop thinking about this new girl. If I really love my girl, will I still look at other girl this way? Please share your thoughts, thanks

[creighton0123]

You wouldn't be the first person in a monogamous relationship who feels the pangs of sexual/emotional attraction to another individual. The monotony of monogamy can be quickly overwhelmed by the excitement of another individual you are sexually attracted to.

 

You're over thinking it all, really. This doesn't mean that you're not ready to commit. It doesn't mean you are not really in love with your girlfriend. It just means that you so happen to experience emotional/physical attraction to another girl who, in different circumstances, would make for another brilliant sexual/romantic partner.

 

My advice? Honesty. If you can't talk with the person you love and have been with for five years now about momentary instances of emotional attraction to other people - especially when you describe her as being your closest friend - who can you talk to?

 

Just let her know that you've never been physically unfaithful to her, but need her help in staying committed, whether it be through breaking the monotony by going on a vacation, having more sex or having sex differently, or changing things up in such a way as to make your current relationship feel more fresh, every little bit helps.